Hamilton, Miller, Hudson & FayneTravel Corporation News HOLIDAY Anr# TRAVEL SPECIALS 4 ‘ " -12 Urisipi 4 - HEARTFELT from page 63 ORLANDO FT. MYERS- SARASOTA ST. PETE 12/20 air only 12/20 7 nts air only from 7 nts fr $274.90 r.t. $234.90 r.t. 12/20 7 nts air only from $234.90 „„ $274.90 r.t. 12/27 7 nts air only from I 2/28 7 nts air only from 12/21 air only 7 nts fr 12/27 7 nts air only from $274.90 r.t. 12/26 air only $374.90 r.t. 7 nts fr 12/21 7 nts air only from $364.90 r.t. $374.90 „A. $329.90 r.t. PUERTO VALLARTA ACAPULCO ARUBA CANCUN 12/21 7 nts air only from 12/20 7 nts air only from 12/20 7 nts air only from $319.90 r.t. $589.90 r.t. $399.90 r.t. • 12/20 • 7 nts air only f r rt. $319 . 90 ONE DAY PRE-HOLIDAY SHOPPING TRIPS NEW YORK CITY ilNIT ED MALL OF AMERICA 11/19, 12/3, 12/10 from I■ $169.90 r.t. HMHF ■ Ni. V sc Int SPACE! 11/8, 12/2, 12/9 from $124.90 r.t. FOR INFORMATION OR TO BOOK CONTACT YOUR TRAVEL AGENT OR CALL 24&827-4070 OR 800-669-4466 PRICES INCLUDE FEDERAL EXCISE TAX. Participation contract required. Prices valid at time ad was prepared. Rates based on Superfare availability and subject to increase without notice. BOOK A Not included: Airport P.F.C. ($346). Rates vary by departure date and duration of stay. I 1 /3/97 GROUP OF 25 AND RECEIVE A FREE TRIP! INTERNET: http://hmhf.com MOTOR COACH TOURS - AIR AND CRUISE TRAVEL * WE HAVE CONSUMER BANKRUPTCY INSURANCE * "RING IN 1998" * "RENOIR EXHIBIT" - CHICAGO ,__ * * * $38 9 * * "NEW YEARS EVE GALA AND MURDER * Nov. 21-23 * Admission to Museum, 2 Shows, * * MYSTERY TRAIN RIDE", * 2 Dinners, City Tour & More! $222 * * .* * Adrian Michigan Dec. 31 -Jan . 1 * * RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL "ROCKETTES", * * Hotel, Luncheon Mystery Train, Gala N.Y. Dinner at Mario's Nov. 29 thru Dec. ...$99 * * Dinner, Dancing, Music, Champagne, * * * Breakfast & More! * * : FLORIDA! 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CALL FOR FLYERS, ADDITIONAL TRIPS & DETAILS BERKLEY TOURS AND TRAVEL, INC. 248 559-8620 OR 1-800-875-TOUR (8687) 11/7 1997 64 ** * * * * * : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * religious, potential dates will want to know. After an evening of flipping through Rolodexes and taking notes, the group usually leaves with at least seven or eight potential "couples;" in the next few days, each party will be contacted and offered information. "Aftei the first date, they touch base with the mediators and we all decide if there should be a second date," Kanowitz added. And while many dates yield only a pleasant evening or two, everyone knows someone who got engaged or married this way. In the Orthodox tradition, match- makers have always been around," noted Suri Kops, 39, who hosts events regularly. "But these groups have only been around for five years or so." Kops became involved four months ago, after attending the Agudath con- vention and hearing Rabbi Yissocher Frand discuss the plight of Jewish sin- gles who feel alienated from a commu- nity in which family plays such a large role. She started hosting and attending matchmaking parties "just for the mitz- vah of it," and her motivation mirrors that of many other young married women on the scene. "It's like paying God back for hav- ing found a good husband," said Kops, a Kew Gardens Hills resident. "A lot of people are so happy to have found someone that they're eager to share the wealth." Kanowitz agreed: "It's a pure chesed, done out of caring." While Kanowitz is a relative newcom- er to the scene, Kops is currently involved with two different groups; typically, gatherings take place at least once a month, sometimes more fre- quently. "Once you start, it's addic- tive!" laughs Kops. At the heart of this movement is religion. While some groups may try to find matches for their non-Orthodox acquaintances, "really, it's not for secu- lar people," said Strauss. "It's really specifically for the religious communi- ty; the secular community has plenty of other ways of meeting people." Many religious women feel uncom- fortable at coed singles parties or bars and consequently have a harder time meeting people, according to a single 27-year-old social worker. "It's very helpful to have these married women helping us," she said. "There's a defi- nite need for people like this — more people should get involved." One single 34-year-old physician, a veteran of such set-ups, had a different perspective. "In general, it's a little bit better" than traditional dating, he said, noting that the matchmakers sort through a lot of relevant information in advance. Even he casts a cynical eye. "I don't know how effective it is," he said. "I think they do a lot of talking." The growth of this trend — to at least five or six groups in the Kew Gardens Hills area, with more spring- ing up — reflects an increasingly busy world in which priorities are expand- ing, especially for women. "So many more women are into their careers these days that they're not as desperate to get married," Kops noted. "These girls have so much going for them that they want a guy who has as much as they do. You have to be worldly, as well as deeply religious." But Kops and others noted that the new focus on careers leads many women to postpone marriage into their late 20s .and 30s, when it becomes more difficult to find available men. "By age 32, 33, especially over 35, it's much harder to set them up," she says, adding that many men won't date a woman over 35 because they want to have children. "It can be heartbreak- ing," said Strauss of this situation. One young married woman became involved in matchmaking after a num- ber of single friends expressed their frustration at feeling out of place in a community of families. "I felt an oblig- ation to help them," she said, noting that she sent out flyers to find other women with single connections. Many of the groups start this way, with a few women getting together to discuss sin- gle friends. One young single, who wishes to remain anonymous, feels that singles themselves can play a larger role in matchmaking. She often attends meet- ings, sharing her knowledge of acquaintances; one of her closest friends got married through a match- making group. In many ways, she and the other matchmakers represent a wholehearted effort on the part of a community to strengthen itself, bringing people together and helping out those less for- tunate. "From a religious point of view, it has to do with luck," she said. "Some people have more luck than others, especially in dating. A lot of the girls I know are really wonderful individuals, but they just have less luck; it's a ques- tion of who you know and who knows you." She paused and added: "In the secu- lar world, these girls would not have problems." ❑ — New York Jewish Week • S •