WE WILL MATCH OR BEAT
ALL COMPETITOR ADS!

CTh

named after cities, not states or corpo-
rations. The Conservative League has
no such restrictions. Reform League
uniforms are selected by a set designer
in consultation with an advertising
agency.
Every Reform game is on TV, but
it's always cable TV Some Conservative
games are on cable, some on free TV,
some not on TV Orthodox games are
broadcast on radio only, the way Mel
Allen intended.

'199

Due At Lease Signing*

SECURITY
DEPOSIT
WAIVED

Making baseball
a religion is an
easy feat.

In the Orthodox game, "The strike
zone is that area over home plate the
upper limit of which is a horizontal
line at the midpoint between the top
of the shoulders and the top of the
uniform pants, and the lower level is a
line at the hollow beneath the
kneecap." In the Conservative game,
the strike zone is what the umpire says
it is. In the Reform game, the strike
zone is whatever the centerfield cam-
era says it is.
The Orthodox serves only food
that is "kosher for ballparks," namely
beer, soda, hot dogs, Polish sausages,
peanuts, and Cracker Jack. Wine is
prohibited. The Conservative allows
Orthodox food plus pizza, nachos and
wine. Reform stadiums offer franchise
fast-food.
No such sectarian divisiveness
afflicts other pro sports: NFL team
owners have reconstituted themselves
as the College of Cardinals and
replaced the commissioner with a
pope, and the NBA is governed by 29
mullahs and an ayatollah. ❑

41.
1A 11

Jeep

'1599

Due At Lease Signing*

INCLUDES
REFUNDABLE
SECURITY
DEPOSIT

•

Publicity
Deadlines

The normal deadline for local
news and publicity items is noon
Thursday, eight days prior to issue
date. The deadline for out-of-
town obituaries is 10 a.m. Tuesday,
three days prior to issue date.
All material must be typewrit-
ten, double-spaced, on 81/2 x 11
paper and include the name and
daytime telephone number of
sender.

Human

walled lake, mi

669-2010

WE WILL BEAT ANYONE'S DEAL!

Jeep

HAGGERTY ROAD

motor sales, inc.

0 J.c.c

ORCHARD LAKE ROAD

VISIT OUR WEBSITE

www.shumonmotorsales.com

11/7
1997

125