it

O

IIAPPENINGS

Saturday, Nov. 1

Dinner and ballroom dancing with
Jewish Professional Singles. 6 p.m. At
Deli Unique on Telegraph Road. Call
Jack, (248) 543-8327.

Sunday, Nov. 2

Where To Pray?

Diary of a shul shopper.

JULIE EDGAR
Senior Writer

S fitting behind the pink parti-
tion was like being at the
back of the bus, except that
thick panes of tinted glass
separated me further froni the lucky
souls up front.
From what I could make out, my
husband was enraptured by the Kol
Nidre service. He was part of a corps
of men and boys clad in the uniform
of devout Jews — tallit and kippot —
that seemed at the moment to imbue
them with a divine glow. They bobbed
and wavered, sang and chanted, a
higher voice occasionally breaking
away from the pack with a sublime
sweetness.
I got up, sat down, got up again,
too, but I was doing it alongside
matrons and young girls who left the
sanctuary and came back, left and
came back.
We of the female persuasion,
behind the mechitzah, were not
required to abide by this time-bound
ritual, I remembered. We didn't even
have to be here. The Torah was barely
visible to the passengers in coach class.
A pain settled in the back of my neck,
and I realized how out of sorts I felt.
Wouldn't it have been better if the
divider between men and women was

1997

78

placed down the center of the sanctu-
ary rather than at the back so that it
would be a separate-but-equal setup?
Perhaps my discomfort reflected a lack
of humility before God. Maybe I did-
n't "get" it. No matter how much I
tried to rationalize this separator, it
struck me as a glaring relic of patriar-
chal oppression.
Were my compatriots happy with
their status? Had they experienced the
same indignation as I? Weren't they as
fervent as the men on the other side of
the divide? I was not at the point
where I could accept this facet of
Orthodox life.
The week before, on Rosh
Hashanah, my husband and I sat
side by side in a huge sanctuary,
shuddering at the reedy soprano
voices emanating from an invisible
choir somewhere up front. No point
in trying to pray aloud, because we
didn't have sheet music.in front of
us. Anyway, was this a church or a
synagogue? Their next gig: St. Paul's
Cathedral.
We stayed with the service, even as
we tried to block out the chit-chat of
the group sitting behind us and the
back-and-forth of the people on either
side of us. Upon leaving, we decided
the place was too big; we felt swal-
lowed up in the vastness of the sanctu-
ary and alienated from the actual ser-

vice. We asked ourselves, if the con-
gregants can't follow the choir, are
they really praying?

A week earlier, we stopped by a
smaller synagogue for Shabbat
Teshuvah services. In the rows in front
of us were congregants from a
Christian church. With the ease of
Phil Donahue or a motivational speak-
er in a hotel ballroom, the rabbi com-
manded the crowd, welcoming the
outsiders warmly and talking casually
about the meaning of the High
Holidays. The congregants laughed at
his jokes and shook each other's hands
at the end of the service. We liked him
too, but where was the challenge here?
Were we supposed to feel good or edi-
fied? Was it our goal to find a new
"family?" We decided that feeling
good was but one objective in the
search.
There have been other stops before
and since then, and still we haven't
settled on a shul. They're either too
big or too far away, too remote or too
gushy. We haven't found a place that
combines intellectual rigor with a rev-
erence for the mystical, offers a sense
of belonging to men and women, and
provides an opportunity for serious
study.
So we wander. And I guess that's
not so very odd for a couple of Jews in
search of a home. 7_1

Allied Jewish Campaign telethon, YAD
and HMD. 6-9 p.m. At the Max M.
Fisher Federation Building. Dinner
and training included. Call Jim
c) .
Rosenberg, (248) 642 - 4260.

Connections Skating Afternoon, spon-
sored by the singles network of
Jewish Family Services of Washtenaw
County. 1:30-4:30 p.m. At the
Skatin' Station II, 8611 Ronda Drive,
Canton. Call (313) 971-3280.

Monday, Nov. 3

Hillel of Metro Detroit Coffee House
Night. 9 p.m. At Lonestar Coffee
Co., 207 S. Woodward in
Birmingham. (313) 577-3459.

Tuesday, Nov. 4

Line dancing with Beverly Semenivk,
Lonestar Dance Co., Michigan Jewish
Singles Network. Through Dec. 2, 7
p.m., Tuesdays, at Temple Beth El.
(248) 851-1100, Ext. 3157.

How to enjoy intimate pleasure, lecture
by Rabbi Shmuel Irons. 7:30 p.m. At
the. Maple-Drake Jewish Community
Center. Free. Call (248) 661-7649.

Wednesday, Nov. 5

Coffee night with Jewish Professional
Singles. 7:30 p.m. At Borders Books
& Music in Birmingham. Call David,
(248) 398-9370.

Thursday, Nov. 6

Seinfeld-a-Thon, through JEMS (Jews

who Enjoy Mingling and
Schmoozing). 7 p.m. At Temple
Israel. Cost: $5. Call (248) 661-
5700.

