My MicHAeL

•• Jewish Family Service
and

Plante & Moran

are excited to present

The Long, Cold Summer

Elizabeth Scanlon Thomas
AppleTree Staff Writer

1.•
0

t was 90 degrees out-
side. I was inside an
le air-conditioned shop,
trying to find long-sleeved
shirts and pants for my 4-
year-old son, Mikey. He's
autistic and will only wear
'winter clothes, even in the
blazing heat of summer.
The boys' section had
ip nothing but shorts and T-
shirts.
"Don't you have any
winter clothes?" I asked a
surprised clerk.
"But it's summer," she
said.
Then out of the corner
,
of my eye I saw the strag-
agling remains of a sale
rack. Ah, there's some
long-sleeved stuff. For
girls, though. I bought the
clothes anyway, and
snipped off the floral dec- Mikey and Mom
orations.and pink bows
our loca swimming pool, wander-
before giving them to my son.
ing around in winter clothes with a
All normal parenting rules are out
jacket on, trying to find the location
the window when you're dealing
of each of the- pool's drains, anoth-
with an autistic child. If I interfered
er of his obsessions.
with Mikey's obsessions, such as
"Drain," he would cry happily,
wanting to wear certain types of
pointing, then lean down to start
clothes, the resulting tantrums could
playing with it.
last hours. I'd be unable to get him
"Doesn't your boy want to get out
to nursery or my daughter to school
of those clothes and swim?" asked
or myself to the office. Until I could
a woman baking in the sunshine.
learn how to cope with his autistic
How could I explain to her about
behavior, I had to give in.
his autism?
Imagine how odd he looked at
Autism affects children in different
ways. But basically, autistic chil-
Elizabeth Scanlon Thomas is
dren don't participate in what we
a native of Mississippi who now
consider normal
life. They find com-
.
lives in Hampshire, England, with
fort in routines — the same clothes,
3 ' her husband and two children.
the same rituals, the same habits.
Over the coming months, she will
For example, if you normally give
update us in this column on Mikey's
your child a bath after dinner, but
progress.
tried to do it before eating one

L LL

night, the distress you
would cause an autistic
child could be almost
unbearable.
Trying to get profession-
al help or services for
my son has been anoth-
er nightmare. Budgets
are tight; health-care
staff are overworked. I
understand that. But this
isn't about their
workloads; it's a battle
for my son's future. I
need to know what to
do to help him now.
Early intervention is cru-
cial. I feel like such a
failure when I'm down
after crashing into the
condescending brick
wall of health-care
bureaucracy. I have to
look at Mikey's picture
in my office and tell him
repeatedly that I won't
give up. Then I try to
get some rest and start the
fight all over the next morning.
Luckily, I can work from home
some days so I have a little privacy
for phone calls and the inevitable
tears of frustration.
I have trouble thinking about
much besides autism whenever I'm
around other people's children, or
even looking at photos of them.
When I passed by a colleague's
desk at work and spotted a large
picture of his new baby boy, I
thought involuntarily: I hope that
child doesn't turn out to be autistic.
Not that I don't adore my darling
boy, but his diagnosis has been
like an earthquake in my family.
Our expectations, hopes and aspi-
rations lay like rubble around us,
and now we, must rebuild our foun-
dation. El

Dennis Prager

Tuesday, November 18, 1997
7 P.M.
Congregation Shaarey Zedek
27375 Bell Road • Southfield

Don't miss this unique opportunity
to hear Mr. Prager speak about
his most recent book,

Happiness is a Serious Problem

The ticket cost for this program is
$7.00 per person.

For more information, contact
Betty Barach at (248) 559-1500.

pv;) JEWISH
FAMILY
SERVICE

PLANTE &MORAN, LLP

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