The Scene
Even if he loses,
he could still win
your heart.
self to tell a roomful of your friends
how many sexual partners he's had.
But you don't want a guy who's eager
to do this.
Good signs: He's open and funny,
telling amusing stories about his
exploits.
Bad signs: He clams up. Or, worse,
he gets gabby and confessional. He
tells all his embarrassing secrets — his
crush on your sister, say, or his bed-
wetting woes — when it's not even -his
turn.
The crucial moment comes: When
someone asks him whether he really
loves you. Will he be effusive and
endearing? Or will he stammer out,
"Uh, I guess so," and chuckle ner-
vously?
When the game is over: You two
figure out who in the group will most
likely run for public office, and you
plan to collaborate on a best-selling
tell-all.
PAUL BIB EAU
Special to The Jewish News
II
is politics are okay. And his
breath is fine. But is he
The One? Give him the
games test.
That's right — go to a party and
urge him to join you in a round of
charades or Monopoly. You won't
believe how much serious stuff you'll
learn from the way he plays.
Charades
The aim of the game of charades is
communication. You want a guy who
can pick up your signals. Right now,
you're trying to sign The Bridge on the
River Kwai — but some day you
should be able to nod, wink and
nudge the message, "It's time for you
to pretend you're violently ill so that
we can go home."
Good signs: He guesses A Brief
History of Time less than 30 seconds
after your imitation of a pulsar.
Bad signs: He flails around like a
mime with thyroid trouble. When you
don't get his clues, he gets worked up
and has to be sent to the kitchen for a
,,
"time out.
The crucial moment comes: When
you just aren't clicking, is he patient?
Or does he shout, "What the hell is
that thing you are doing with your
elbow?!"
When the game is over: You both
can use hand signals to say, "I love
you." This will be cute the first hun-
dred times you do it.
Twister
The aim of the game of Twister is
coordination, flexibility and his ability
to be draped over some strange
woman while remaining faithful to
you.
Good signs: He is charmingly
clumsy and hapless.
Bad signs: He sends five or six peo-
ple to the hospital.
The crucial moment comes: When
you all have to get off the mat. Does
he help you up and try to protect you
from being crushed? Or is he too busy
fondling your best friend?
When the game is over: You go off
to a private place and trade back rubs.
.
Trivial Pursuit
The aim of the game of Trivial
Pursuit is cooperation. Trivia games
can bring out the worst in people. Is
he truly playing with you? Or is he
simply out to show how smart he is?
Good signs: The two of you play
like a finely honed mixed-doubles
team — you put your heads together
and use your combined knowledge,
consulting on each and every ques-
tion.
Bad signs: After every question is
read, he hops up shouting like Arnold
Horschack, "Oooh, 000h, 000h, I
know it!" or, when you try to answer,
he puts his hand over your mouth.
10/10
1997
72
Quarters
The crucial moment comes: When
he thinks the answer on the card is a
mistake. Does he handle it with digni-
ty? Or does he become irate and abu-
sive, muttering about how he'll "get
even" with the Trivial Pursuit research
department?
When the game is over: You two
try out for "Jeopardy!" together.
Monopoly
The aim of the game of Monopoly
is money management. Is he the type
to splurge on Boardwalk or Park
Place, or does he wisely invest in solid
stuff like Marvin Gardens and Indiana
Avenue? Does he keep track of his
properties — or does he eat the dice
like the guy in One Flew Over the
Cuckoo's Nest?
Good signs: He helps you hatch a
devious scheme to finagle the best real
estate from the other players.
Bad signs: When you get up for a
glass of water, he trades half your port-
folio for the last Bugles in the snack
bowl.
The crucial moment comes: When
someone lands on a hotel and goes
bankrupt. Is he polite? Or does he
cackle like a cartoon villain and say,
"Now you're out on the street, and the
family house is mine, all mine!
Hahahahaha!"
When the game is over: You join an
investment club together with some
little old ladies and strike it rich.
Truth Or Dare
The aim of the game Truth or Dare
is honesty and tact. You want a guy
who is comfortable enough with him-
The aim of the game of Quarters is:
handling booze — a lot of booze —
responsibly. You get to see him at his
absolute gnarliest — drunk and fling-
ing change around.
Good signs: He gets silly and
happy. Your friends laugh with him.
Bad signs: He gets sloppy and ugly.
Your fiends laugh at him.
The crucial moment comes: When
you both wake up. Are you OK? Is he
there with you? Is anyone else there,
too? Any stolen lawn gnomes in the
room?
When the game is over: You'll have
plenty of stories you won't tell your
kids some day. Also, you'll be prepared
for the worst when he goes to his
10th-year fraternity reunion. 111
— Courtesy Mademoiselle. Copyright
1997 by the Conde Nast Publications,
Inc.