N?, For Openers...

4 Seasons

Fireplace 49' Barbecue

Wait, Read This
... After Yom Kippur

PRE SEASON SALE

FIREPLACE GLASS DOORS ON SALE-

SAVE 10%- & FREE STANDARD INSTALLATION*

BECKWOOD, DESIGN SPECIALTIES, HEARTHCRAFT, & PORTLAND

0 kay, so you're not supposed to laugh or even think of humor on Yom
Kippur. Don't get excited, we understand. Just skip over "For
Openers," and pick it up late Saturday night.
Of course, you know sometime around 4 p.m. Saturday after-
noon, when that caffeine headache is kicking in, maybe the "evil" inclination
will be to sit down with something funny. But, don't let us influence you nega-
tively.
Or, when you come home for that "nap," "For Openers" will be here.
Anyway, read on ...

MARTY WEISS
Special to The Jewish News

An elderly Jew saw an ad in a maga-
zine that said, "Lumberjacks needed in
the Canadian North Woods."
He flew up and reported for a job.
The 6-foot-3 foreman looked down at
the 5-foot-2 Jew and explained that
they cut trees with axes and it takes
brawn, which obviously he didn't
have.
The Jew said, "Just give me a test."
So they hand him an ax and directed
him to go chop down a tree. The Jew,
with four strokes — zip, zap, zoop,
shlip — cut down the tree.
The foreman complimented him,
but explained that he was being kind,
because that wasn't the type of tree
they really cut down, it was the type
they plant. Then he said, pointing to a
monster tree, "Those are the kind we
cut down."
The Jew went over to the big tree
and with 10 strokes — zip, zap,
shlipp, flop, barn, boom, crack,
crunch, bim — he cut down the tree.
With that the foreman said, "You're
hired, but where did you get the expe-
rience?"
The Jew said, "In the Sahara
Forest."
The foreman said, "You mean the
Sahara Desert, don't you?"
And the Jew said, "Sure, now!"

Quick Thoughts

•.wwwwirungsgallibb.

• The opitimist sees the bagel, the
pessimist sees the hole.
• If you can't say something nice,
say it in Yiddish.
• If it tastes good, it's probably not
kosher.
• Twenty percent off is a bargain;
50 percent off is a mitzvah.
• Remember, even Sandy Koufax
didn't play ball on Yom Kippur.

FREE AT HOME
ESTIMATES

Howz By You

(T'S gOM KIPPUR, I 51-10ULP BE
REPENTING FOR M9 SINS, BUT I

PETERSON WOODLAND OAK GAS LOG SET

W020"$329 99 W024"$359 99

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ALL SIZES & STYLES ON SALE INCLUDING a

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weber

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/

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(248)855-0303

P555T, LOOK AT SALLY FARKAS
IN) THAT TI6HT yELLOCJ OUTFIT!
DOESN'T SHE LOOK LIKE A

LEMON ON STEROIDS? HA-1-1A

30903 ORCHARD LAKE RD., FARMINGTON HILLS
(in Hunter Square between 13 & 14 Mile by TJ Maxx & THE GAP)
HOURS: Monday-Thursday 10 am-9 pm
Friday 10 am-5pm CLOSED SATURDAY OPEN SUNDAY 10AM -6PM

CLOSED YOM KIPPUR SALE ENDS OCT 16 97

..

......

..

p,TE

0 0
0 0
4

Jerusalem. His humor collection can be
found on the Internet at jewish-
humor@virtual.co.il.

(A taste of Hebrew,
Yiddish, or Ladino)

STANDARD INSTALLATION

INCLUDES:

CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING THAT
I'VE ()MC TO FEEL SORRY ABOUT

Marty Weiss is editor of Virtual

PHRASEOLOGY

CUSTOM FIREPLACE GLASS DOORS
ALL ON SALE SAVE 10%
PLUS FREE MEASUREMENT & FREE

Featuring

/3 aggii

[ MEAN, I'M A MODEL CITIZEN —
ORA T DO i NEED FOR6iVENESS
:- - 0R?r HAVEN'T PONE ANYTHING

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Excellent selection: kandl,a3s, lug a e, 1,rielcases,
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NORTHWESTERN HIGHWAY, BETWEEN 12 & 13 MILE ROADS

o

,

Az si'iz in droissen a blotch,
frai'en zich di shusters.
When the streets are muddy, the
cobblers rejoice.

So, nu, and what about
when it snows?

The Shirt Box. Shirts And A Whole Lot More. /
Always 20% - 35% Off Retail

HOURS: Mon.-Sat. 9:30-B • Thurs. till 7

1 0/ 1c

1997

Courtyard Center • 32500 Northwestern Hwy. • Farmington Hills, MI 48334 • (248) 851-6770

5