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September 19, 1997 - Image 61

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1997-09-19

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

My MicHAeL

Owners Sid & Maxine
Kort with daughters
Connie & Denise.
• Named "Retailer of
the Year" by the
Michigan Children's
Apparel Group.

CONNIE S

(CHILDREN'S SHOP)

10,000 SQUARE FEET OF INCREDIBLE CHILDREN'S FASHION!

The Largest Independentlty Owned Children's Clothing Store in the Midwest!

"He's Autistic"

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Elizabeth Scanlon Thomas
AppleTree Staff Writer

N

going down drains?" she asked.
"He's continually pointing out drains
and repeating, 'water go down
drain' over and over."
"But he's just interested—"
After the doctor left, my husband
and I walked around like zombies,
not knowing what to say or think. It
was too overwhelming. All I knew
at that moment was that I wanted to
talk to my mother, even though she
is thousands of miles away, battling
multiple sclerosis, in a nursing
home. But I needed to tell someone
what just heard. It was too much
to carry by myself.
Within days, my mother, who
can't even lift a book now that her
muscles are wasted by MS, had
people reading information about
autism to her, which she then
passed on to me.
I guess that's what has helped me
most — that others are so kind.
I won't try and hide Mikey's diag-
nosis, though I know other parents
who do this. Secrecy hurts the
child. Parents sometimes must sacri-
fice their egos (the part of them that
says, "I could never have an autistic
child") so they can take action to
help their children.
Only a few weeks have passed
since the diagnosis, and I'm still try-
ing to learn all I can and decide
how best to help my little boy. I've
read those articles about how lucky
we are to have these 'special chil-
dren' who are so hard to live with
— but are ultimately rewarding. I
can't say I'm there yet in my think-
ing. I'm still in the "Why has this
happened to me?" stage.
My 8-year-old daughter Kate
thinks
having a brother like this is
a
is
Elizabeth Scanlon Thomas
"irritating,"
but she still "quite likes"
native of Mississippi who lives in
Reading, England, with her husband Mel
him. That's all I can ask for now.

know my son has learning disabili-
ties," I said brightly, "but the prog-
nosis is good for that. I can work
with him myself and get him into
speech therapy."
I thought this assessment of my 3-
year-old son Mikey was going well.
So I was unprepared for the slight,
tense smile on the doctor's face as
she said, "He's autistic. I could tell
almost immediately after I came to
your house and began observing
him."
I was offering her some tea and
almost dropped the cup in her lap.
Gripped by some sort of blind
panic, I tried to absorb her words.
"But, but..." I sputtered. "I was
sure he just had a learning disabili-
ty. The last checkup he had —" I
wasn't forming my sentences well at
this point, "that's what the doctor
said. You must be mistaken." I cast
a despairing glance at my son,
who was spinning near the fire-
place.
"I'm sorry," she replied, still smil-
ing in a stilted professional way.
"This must be a shock to you, but
I'm making this judgement based on
the following observations." She
looked at her notes. "Your son has
shown no interest in me," she said.
"See this big handbag? I put it
away from me and opened it slight-
ly. Most children will try and see
what's inside."
"Well, he doesn't care what's in
your purse," I began. But like a
truck flattening a little Volkswagen in
its path, her words ran over mine.
"Have you noticed how obsessed
he is with small things, like water

and their two children. In future columns,
she will discuss Mikey's progress.

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