L
"This is a circle," said Rabbi Levi Shemtov. "It brings together Torah, the Jewish people and God.
If you don't care, then something is really missing from your life."
"There is not enough in the Jewish
community for our families, there is
next to nothing," said Carolyn Morris,
the mother of 5 1/2-year-old Sammy.
When she and her husband,
Michael, learned their son was autis-
tic, Carolyn spent a month on the
phone searching for services available
to her son and family. She heard by
word of mouth about the Friendship
Circle.
"They really know how to give help
and how to make the people receiving
the help not feel like they are a bur-
den," she said. "Honestly, the
Friendship Circle could teach the pro-
fessionals how to do this. They don't
make you feel like you're some sort of
loser."
The Morrises' volunteer is Netanya
Weiss, a 16-year-old Akiva Hebrew
Day School senior. "I go to help the
parents," she said. "I know it's a tough
time for them, and the kids need me."
Netanya takes Sammy and his
brother and sister to the park, plays
with them, and meets whatever needs
she can.
The voluteers average one to two
hours a week. Some families have
more than one volunteer on different
days.
"Look, I think it's a sad situation
that the Jewish community doesn't
offer anything for Jewish kids like this.
I called Jewish Family Service, and the
best they could say to me was, Its a
shame.' That I didn't want to hear."
Sheryl Kaminer has been down this
road as well. Her daughter, Elana, suf-
fers from a rare syndrome known as
Trisomy 15 Inverted Duplication. She
has an extra piece on her 15th chro-
mosome. Elana, 9, has the mental
ability of a much younger child. She is
a cheerful, active child who craves
affection and attention. The Kaminers
crave some rest.
"I got a letter in the mail," said
Sheryl. "It sounded weird, too good to
be true. But I love it. It comes down
to being a relief. I do what I want to
do. I look forward to it, and she looks
forward to it."
Someone else looks forward to it as
well, their volunteer.
Diana Jacobs, a 13-year-old Beth
Jacob student who addressed the
Friendship Circle's early summer ban-
quet, told those in attendance that
what Elana does for her is as impor-
tant as what she can do for Elana.
"Elana has been a great teacher for
me," she said. "It goes beyond fun.
I've learned kindness, I've learned con-
trol."
'
,
.
Above:
Netanya Weiss plays with (clockwise):
Benjamin, Sammy and Emma Morris.
Left:
Diana Jacobs takes Elana Kaminer
for a walk around Elana's
Oak Park neighborhood.
Oppostite:
Sammy Morris gives
Netanya a kiss and a hug.
On this day, Diana and Elana are
"reading" books to stuffed animals.
"You can't believe that teen-agers
are doing this," said Mrs. Kaminer.
"So much is written and said that is
negative about teens. But these kids
are all wonderful, so nice. You need
to understand that for people who
need respite, the minutes, the time is
desperately sought. Finding respite is
like a desperate search."
And when that search is complete,
parents can look forward to $600 a
year in respite monies from the state.
That, they say, is hardly worth the
time screening and finding workers.
Matt Pearl doesn't think of himself
as a worker. Indeed, the 16-year-old
Novi High School student loves the
time he spends with 6 1/2-year-old
Alyssa.
The child of Andi and Randy
Gold was born after only 25 1/2
weeks of pregnancy. She weighed 26
ounces, was blind in one eye and had
low vision in the other.
Said Andi about Matt, "I can sit
and I can relax, finally. It gives me a
spell without my daughter at my
side."
Andi has volunteered for Jewish
causes. But she never heard of any-
thing quite like the Friendship Circle.
And the Golds ran into fear from
friends and family.
"People were afraid," she said.
"We're living with their nightmare,
blindness. We've just had to learn
that we have to work a little harder to
have a normal life and that getting
from A to B isn't necessarily a straight
line."
But that line is made straighter by
Matt Pearl.
"I'm here to have a good time with
Alyssa," he said. "She wants to swing,
I swing. She wants to play with her
toys, I play with her toys — whatever
she wants to do."
Alyssa holds on to a railing as she
walks up the back stairs of her home.
She gives a visitor a hug and a kiss.
Then she has to get going. It's time
to play something else. Matt keeps up
with her.
And Andi can let go.
Mission
The Friendship Circle Volunteer
Club provides assistance to fami-
lies with special needs children,
and simultaneously "helps the
helper" — empowering its teen-
age volunteers to build their own
moral character and to grow
through their mitzva-volunteer-
ing. For more information, call
(248)-855-1212.