"For Openers..."

A Funny Thing Happened
On The Way To Temple

RABBI BOB ALPER
Special to the Jewish News

D

/-'

uring one of those "touchy-
feely" periods — I think it
was around 1982 or so — a
pathologically trendy col-
league of mine used to organize pre-
Shabbat experiences in which one per-
son would role-play challah dough,
while others would encircle and mas-
sage, as if preparing him or her for
baking.
Caught up in one of those exercises
in "living Judaism," I guess I damp-
ened the mood just a bit when the
spirit suddenly moved me to suggest
we all join in singing that old favorite,
"People. People Who Knead People."
I couldn't help myself.
In the summer of 1978, my family
and I moved to a Philadelphia suburb
where I became rabbi of Congregation
Beth Or. (You'll need to remember
this.)
"Beth Or," by the way, means
"House of Light."
It was a three-mile drive to Beth
Or, but just down the street from our
new home stood another synagogue,
the beautiful, recently constructed
Temple Sinai. (Jot this down, too).
"Sinai," by the way, means "Sinai."
With a brand new building and, no
doubt, a high mortgage, the folks at
Temple Sinai were definitely people
who needed people, not only as a way
to share their blessed achievement, but
also to help pay the bills. And so my
guess is that some energetic and cre-
ative person on their membership
committee kept a close watch over the
local newspaper's real estate transfer

Bob Alper will be a regular con-
tributor to "For Openers..." He is the
only rabbi in the country who regularly
addresses congregations that require a
cover charge and a two-drink mini-
mum.

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reports, targeting Jewish-sounding
names as part of their recruitment
efforts.
I drew this conclusion because
shortly after we arrived, we received a
lovely letter from Temple Sinai's
administrator. It was addressed to
"Mr. and Mrs. Robert A. Alper," and
read, in part, "As our new neighbors,
we hope you'll consider joining our
fine synagogue, with its outstanding
spiritual leader, excellent religious
school, magnificent new building..."
I responded:
"Dear Mr. Goldenblatt,
"Thank you for your thoughtful
invitation to join Temple Sinai.
"Regrettably, we cannot possibly
consider affiliating. My wife has
informed me that she is passionately
in love with the new rabbi at
Congregation Beth Or."

llowz By You

COME ON, FRANK, LETS GO, W E
NAVE THAT I316 MEETING TO

DISCUSS MAT'S BAR MiTzVAH!

OH 6. 1')H! I

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(A taste of Hebrew,
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FRAN11, MR. AND mRs. FRUiTMAIV,
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Marido en kaza dolor de
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A husband hanging around
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L

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What's worse, having
a toothache or being one?"

9/12

1997

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