Publisher's Notebook

Community Views

Looking For An
Enthusiastic 'Engagement'

I Forgave You
Years Ago

ARTHUR M. HORWITZ PUBLISHER

'What still strikes me is that
Parents, if your gaged Jewishly, treat them with
the
great majority of American
student attends respect, make them feel good
Jewish undergraduates never set
about
themselves,
give
them
the
Michigan State
University or magical mystery tour of Jewish foot in a Hillel," said Steinhardt.
the University of life and they feel pride," Joel said. "I can think of nothing better
Michigan, write "Our mission statement is to than this idea to spread the num-
ber of people Hillel touches. If
down these maximize the number of Jews do-
there is to be a Jewish renais-
names and num- ing Jewish with other Jews."
sance, we need to take chances,
Now
in
its
fourth
year,
the
bers now:
to
focus on innovation and create
Michigan Steinhardt JCSC program is a
things that don't exist."
window
on
why
the
B'nai
B'rith
State: Sarah Kimelman, (517)
The Steinhardt JCSC pro-
332-1916 or skimelm@juno.edu . campus Hillel program is under- gram started with 21 fellows in
going
a
revolutionary
transfor-
Michigan: Rachel Bendit, (313)
1994. Steinhardt and his wife,
769-0500 or rbendit@umich.edu . mation. It marries the leadership Judy, contributed $12,500 per
Sarah and Rachel are looking
fellow, with the participating
to get "engaged" with your college
Hillels finding their own match-
student. Don't get the wrong im-
ing funds. These Hillels would
pression. But if this was a per-
contribute $20,000 and Stein-
sonal dating ad, it would read:
hardt $5,000 each subsequent
Two SJF, recent college gradu-
year. According to Joel, Stein-
ates. Energetic, dynamic, attrac-
hardt's $400,000 investment to
tive. No sexual preference. Will
date in the 77-fellow program
meet you anywhere, anytime to
has attracted more than $2 mil-
"do Jewish."
lion from other sources.
"Do Jewish?"
With the program in place, Joel
There are 77 Sarah Kimel-
recruited the vivacious Weisman
mans and Rachel Bendits cover-
to run it. Drawing on a talented
ing more than 100 college
pool of Hillel directors in the field
campuses looking to "do Jewish"
and professional staff in the
with your youngsters as part of
Washington, D.C. headquarters,
the Steinhardt Jewish Campus
Weisman equipped the fellows
Service Corps, a program of Hil-
with the skills they needed to
lel. By May of 1998, these JCSC
identify and engage students in
fellows will have had meaningful
a range of settings. She also pro-
contact with 40,000 Jewish stu-
vided a network of encourage-
dents who otherwise would nev-
Getting college students Jewishly
ment and support.
er set foot inside a Hillel facility.
"engaged."
The result? People
Sarah, Rachel and
like Sarah Kimelman
most of the fellows
and Rachel Bendit
share one thing: while
(and Farmington Hills
they became involved
native David Schultz,
Jewishly as students,
who is a fellow at the
they were uninvolved
University of Mary-
with Hillel. For Sarah,
land-Catonsville) to "do
a Des Moines native
Jewish" with your col-
and Bryn Mawr grad-
lege student.
uate, an Israel experi-
Now, if I can ask you
ence and interest in
to consider the follow-
social action caught
ing. On a piece of pa-
the eye of a JCSC fel-
per, write down your
low on campus. Im-
student's:
pressed with the
• name, campus ad-
program, Sarah de-
dress and phone number;
and
vision
of
Richard
Joel
and
cided to defer law school plans af-
year in school, degree pursuing,
ter being accepted as a Steinhardt philanthropist Michael Stein- •
major;
hardt
with
spirited,
on-the-
fellow for 1997-98. Rachel, a Bal-
• Jewish background (denomi-
timore native and Michigan grad- ground professional staff directed nation,
education, been to' Israel,
by
Detroit
native
Rhoda
Weis-
uate, was helping to plan the
annual U-M Holocaust confer- man and funding and program- etc.);
• campus interests (student gov-
ence when she was engaged by ming partnerships with the ernment,
environment, journal-
Marni Holtzman, the 1996-97 individual campus Hillels and
ism,
etc.)
their
local
governing
boards.
JCSC campus fellow. Rachel put
Joel took his vision of a "Jew- • personal interests (music,
her social work/service plans on
ish
Peace Corps" to Steinhardt, sports, theater, computers, etc.).
hold after acceptance into the pro-
If your student is at Michigan
who
had a reputation for sup-
gram.
State, call Sarah with the infor-
porting
innovative,
often
risky
For Richard Joel, the dynamic
mation. At Michigan? Call
president and international di- propositions that focused on re- Rachel. They'll do the rest. No
versing
the
decline
he
saw
with-
rector of Hillel, the Steinhardt
more having to beg your student
Jewish Campus Service Corps is in the non-Orthodox Diaspora
to go to the Hillel House. Hillel,
community.
Steinhardt-commis-
part of a renaissance that is
and the richness of Jewish life,
transforming Hillel from its once sioned studies fingered college
will
come to him or her.
campuses
as
worthy
of
continued
shleppy, nerdy image into the cat-
Is your student at another col-
alyst for renewed interest in Jew- pursuit (he had already created lege campus? Call Hillel at (202)
ish life among an estimated successful Jewish heritage pro- 857-6576. If it has a Steinhardt
400,000 Jewish college students. grams at the University of Penn- Jewish Campus Service Corps fel-
"These (JCSC) fellows can help sylvania, New York University,
low, you can count on your young-
unaffected Jews to find wholeness Queens College, University of ster receiving an enthusiastic
Pittsburgh
and
State
University
in their peoplehood. We know we
"engagement." ❑
can take people who are unen- of New York/Binghamton.)

RABBI DAVID NELSON SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

you wish me." At that, the sec-
ond brother throws up his hands
and says, "See, rabbi, he's start-
ing up again!"
A lot of times, anger over past
experiences is so gripping that
it takes on a life of its own. I of-
ten ask people who are holding
grudges what triggered such
anger that siblings stopped talk-
ing
to one another. There were
met.
I read about these Brazilian separate shivas, family exclud-
professors, experts on the Indi- ed from celebrations, and more
an culture of Brazil, who had a often than not, the details of the
two-decade-long venomous dis- originating offense are hazy; the
pute in which there was name longer the dispute, the sketch-
calling, ridicule in print, as well ier the facts. Most of us have not
committed unforgiv-
as oral insults.
able sins. What is it
They said some
that that we have
nasty things about one
done?
another, and now one
Smith's
Susan
of them was deathly ill;
heinous act of drown-
the news of his illness
ing her two children
was covered by the
and blaming a
press. The healthy dis-
stranger cannot easily
putant called his erst-
be forgiven, if ever, but
while foe to make
what have you or I
peace in a telephone
done?
conversation."
As a rabbi, I may have been
Please forgive me for all the
unkind things I have said," the unable to respond to a request
healthy professor began, and the to satisfy the asker. And, if I was
response of his colleague both wrong on some issue, is it un-
surprised and moved him. What forgivable? There is a person
had his lifelong opponent said? who turns his back on me when
"Don't talk like that. I forgave I walk by in the Torah proces-
sion. Believe me, I did nothing
you many years ago."
Can you imagine? For a long unforgivable, but he's commit-
time, he had not felt animosity, ted to his anger. I forgave him
but the other party didn't real- for his rudeness a long time ago!
I believe that emotionally
ize he had been forgiven. I am
reminded of two feuding broth- healthy people are able to roll
ers who, after many months of with the punches, and to be rea-
ill will, finally go to a rabbi to sonable in their expectations of
settle their differences and seek others. Psychologists would tell
you that mental health requires
each other's forgiveness.
After much discussion, the letting go of anger. We need to
rabbi gets the brothers to rec- release the hostility, not because
oncile, even to the point of shak- of the other person, but because
ing hands. As they're about to of ourselves.
So the anthropologist's lesson
leave, he asks that each of them
makes a wish for the other in is a very valuable one. As Rosh
honor of the Jewish New Year. Hashanah approaches, we
The first brother turns to his would do well to repeat those
sibling and says: "I wish what words when we deal with those
who have hurt us: "I forgave you
David Nelson is a rabbi of
years ago."
Now, let's get on with the
Congregation Beth Shalom in
business of healthy living. ❑
Oak Park.

I learned an im-
portant lesson
about forgive-
ness from an
unusual source.
It came from a
true life experi-
ence of two an-
thropologists
whom I never

A simple
action
means
so much.

TheDJN@aol . corn

11

What Do You Think?"

I

If it's not Arafat,
who will be our "partner"
in "peace?"

To respond: "So, What Do You Think?"
27676 Franklin Road, Southfield, MI 48034

ti

CT)
CD

C

CD

25