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She Says
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You know it's a relationship
when he stops going to see "chick flicks."
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ALLISON KAPLAN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
can pinpoint the exact on more than two movies a year,
moment in our rapidly ma- that's not a lot of dates. But my
turing relationship when my boyfriend and I decided to perse-
vere. We turned an ugly situation
boyfriend quit being polite.
I had convinced him to escort into an opportunity for compro-
me to see How to Make an Amer- mise.
I pay when we go to films with
ican Quilt, a movie I thought
looked romantic, yet deep, be- romance or actual story lines. He
cause the cast featured Maya An- covers anything about killing,
gelou. He was more interested in cowboys or outer space.
And let me tell you, Batman
Winona Ryder as the star. But
and Robin was much easier to en-
still, he agreed to go.
Apparently two hours of dure knowing I hadn't plunked
women talking about ... women down $8.75 to see it.
Of course, even compromises
was too much strain on his gen-
tlemanly front. True, the only have their downfalls. Ours would
male character in the movie was have to be supporting each other
an Italian hunk who spoke two beyond the ticket window. See, I
lines consisting of "Love me" and have this fantastic ability to fall
"I want you." My boyfriend chal- asleep in theaters — only during
lenged me to find one guy in the movies he picks. And he has this
theater who wasn't attached to a ingratiating need to comment on
a film's shortfalls right in the mid-
female. I couldn't.
As we exited after the show, dle of it.
My boyfriend gets very frus-
my boyfriend exposed his true
colors for the first time with two trated when, after James Bond,
I don't want to talk about which
trite, yet telling words.
secret weapons were most effec-
Chick flick.
A horrifying phrase to any tive and how they compared to
proud woman. Repulsive when those used in the other 167 Bond
it comes from a man who other- flicks. And so I told him, "feel free
wise stands a chance of making to see those movies without me.
I won't be hurt."
it past date six.
The trouble with that is, many
First of all, the word chick. It
sounds so much like a piece of of the movies he groups as female-
meat. With its mere mention, the oriented are often exactly the ones
back muscles tighten defensive- I do want to see with him. What
ly, lips curl into a growl. Now turn good is a sweet romance if he's not
that demeaning classification into there to hold my hand? (Or see
an entire genre of movies — iden- how the men in movies spread
tified as such strictly because they rose petals around leading ladies'
focus on women — and this is one bedrooms. Real guys never think
chick who is no longer planning to do stuff like that.)
So we're back to me sitting
any goodnight kisses.
Certainly, there are movies through Men in Black and him
made with women in mind, just attending My Best Friend's Wed-
as there are films with no plot and ding.
Not a problem, really. I've
a lot of big guns to appeal to men.
But you don't hear us women call- come to the conclusion that his
ing those stud flicks. Oh yes, picks are often just human sagas
that's right — we just call them set in outer space to fool guys into
thinking they are manly movies.
stupid!
And he went willingly to the
When we first met, movies
seemed to be something my wedding movie — which I know,
deep down, he, too, thought was
boyfriend and I had in common.
That little illusion vanished cute. Until he realized he had
around the same time he stopped paid for it.
We messed up. I accidentally
offering to pay for every meal.
There are only so many fine films paid for MIB, so he naturally cov-
a couple can stomach before the ered the next movie, which hap-
truth reveals itself And the truth pened to be the wedding flick.
is, I want Julia Roberts, he wants Much like Siskel not wanting
people to think he loved George
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Now this could have turned of the Jungle when that was re-
into a dispute of relationship-dis- ally Ebert's call — my boyfriend
solving proportions. It wouldn't craved a clarification.
So I'm telling people I paid for
be dating without going to the
movies, and when you can't agree My Best Friend's Wedding, and
I'll let Men in Black be his.
As long as he lets me have ex-
Allison Kaplan is a columnist for
tra butter flavoring on the pop-
the Chicago Jewish Star whose
corn, I can be flexible. 0
mother only lets her date
I
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Jewish guys.
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"One stop shopping at Star Trax is the
only way to go! The professionalism and
work ethic of the entire crew could ri ot
ve been finer."
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11,
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ASK FOR
LISA VERNICK oR RANDY WERTHEIMER
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LOCATED IN THE ORCHARD MALL (WEST BLOOMFIELD)
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RENEE CHERRIN ERLICH MARC SCHECHTER
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