Community Views

Editor's Notebook

Gifts May Come
From Unusual Sources

What Matters
In Our Lives

RABBI AMY BRODSKY SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR

This summer, I
had the privilege
to participate in
an Elderhostel
presented under
the auspices of
the Midrasha
and Fresh Air So-
ciety.
Throughout
the summer, they offer a variety
of Elderhostel programs at Butzel
Conference Center in Ortonville.
The Rev. Jim Lyons, executive di-
rector of the Ecumenical Institute
for Jewish-Christian Studies, and
I taught a course titled 'The Con-
cept of the Messiah in the Jewish
and Christian Traditions." Over
the course of two days we taught
five sessions.
We discussed a va-
riety of topics, includ-
ing the development of
the messianic concept,
the Christian under-
standing of Jesus as
messiah, the view of
the messiah in rab-
binic literature, false
messiahs (such as
Shabbetai Tzvi) and
modern interpreta-
tions of the messianic
concept.
The topic was fasci-
nating, one which is
not often discussed.
I've been interested in
this topic for quite a
while and have want-
ed to explore it further.
Nonetheless, while
preparing for the El-
derhostel sessions, I
sometimes thought
that I would never
again want to read an-
other book or article about the
messiah! I was on "messiah over-
load."
I had planned to research a
different topic once the Elder-
hostel program was finished.

Amy Brodsky is assistant director

However, after the presentations
at Butzel, I was surprised to find
myself further exploring this top-
ic. The interest of the Elderhos-
tel participants excited me and
led me to further develop a
course focusing on the messian-
ic concept within Judaism. And
so I have to thank those involved
with Elderhostel for their gift
which further motivated me to
continue my studies in this
realm.
But that's not the only gift
which I received during those two
days. Let me share with you an
experience that I had.
I arrived early on the second
morning of our presentations,
carrying my notes and my news-

paper. I figured I'd have some
time before the lectures began to
review my notes and leisurely
read the paper. Instead, from the
moment I walked into the lodge,
I was greeted with questions
from many of the participants.
Before I could even put down my
papers, participants started "fir-

us what

at the Ecumenical Institute.

ing away." They had so many
questions: "Do Jews believe in
resurrection?" and "What do
Jews think about heaven and
hell?" were but two of the many
that they asked.
As I began to answer these
questions, I learned that as a re-
sult of our presentations the first
day, people explored these and
other topics with each other. Sit-
ting around the dinner table and
during their free time, they came
together, Jews and Christians,
questioning each other, learning
from each other, discussing their
own beliefs as well as traditions
in which they were raised.
Even though the Rev. Lyons
and I were not part of the sched-
uled program on Tues-
day, the conversation
that we began with El-
derhostel participants on
Monday continued
through to our visit on
Wednesday. The open-
ness and frankness with
which these people dis-
cussed their views —
seeking to understand
the other as well as seek-
ing to understand their
own faith, traditions and
personal beliefs — was
a beautiful thing to see.
They were there to
learn. They were there
to explore. What a gift to
be witness to and part of
such dialogue!
My newspaper didn't
get read that morning,
nor were my notes re-
viewed; but my belief in
interfaith dialogue was
enhanced that day. With
honesty, openness and
caring, the Elderhostel partici-
pants reminded me that people
do care about each other; people
do want to learn from each other;
people do want to make this world
a better place.
Thank you for the reminder;
thank you for the inspiration;
thank you for the gift.

❑

TheDJN@aol . com.

Do You
Think?"

Did Netanyahu act correctly
in recently releasing funds to
the Palestinians?

To respond: "So, What Do You Think?"
27676 Franklin Road, Southfield, MI 48034

Marriage, like
life, is a never-
ending process
of learning.
Before my
dear husband,
Phillip, married
me, he was flu-
ent in English,
Yiddish and He-
brew. Yet, astute observer that
I am, I quickly recognized that
Phil's knowledge of languages
was lacking. Specifically, he
knew nothing of Femalese, and
so I graciously set out to teach
him.
Other women (and educated
men) easily recognize the
tongue: "Of course I don't want
anything for our anniversary" in
English means "Run out and get
me a gift NOW," in Femalese,
while "I'm just tired," means, "All
the other women at the office get
flowers at least twice a year and
you haven't sent any to me for
as long as I can remembe'
I also am proud to say I
taught my husband the impor-
tance of doilies (preferably with
plants atop) and helped him rec-
ognize my complete and inar-
guable right to decorate our
home any way I choose. It's a
kind of Laura Ashley look mixed
with 1940s stuff. Phil hates an-
tiques.
"Look at it!" I'll say, shivering
with delight as I return home
from the flea market, a child's
night light from 1945 in tow.

"Look at it!"

"How much was it?" Phil asks,
barely glancing my way.
"It was only $15. I mean, is
that a steal or what?"
"Fifteen bucks?" Phil says.
"For that?"
"It's an antique," I explain, in
my best fm-trying-to-be-patient-
but-it's-not-easy tone. "It's prob-
ably worth at least
five times that
much!"
"You've got to be
kidding," he says.
"It's used junk,
that's what it is. I'd
give you a quarter
for it."
Just as I have provided Phil
with so, so many hours of wise
counsel, so he has taught me im-
portant lessons, too. I have
learned that men will gladly help
with the housecleaning, but don't
ask them to dust (men hate,
hate, hate dusting). I also know
now that most men really don't
care if you are five pounds over-
weight. They don't even notice it,
for crying out loud. But the most
important lesson I have learned
from my husband is What Mat-
ters.
I don't know why, but for years
I seemed to think the most idi-
otic, inconsequential things were

important. Good reasons to cry
included (but were not limited
to): guests coming and the chick-
en was a little too well done;
stains that wouldn't come out of
a new dress; the arrival of a rot-
ten, anonymous letter com-
plaining about something I'd
written in the paper. Any one of
these was enough to push me
over the brink.
Phil, though, has never been
bothered by such trivial matters.
"I mean, who cares?" he says
when I get one of those hate let-
ters. "Whoever wrote this is an
idiot."
Slowly I have begun to un-
derstand, too, that very little in
life deserves our profound con-
cern. Those issues that do are the
health and well-being of family
and friends, other human beings
who suffer terribly, and cruelty.
These are part of What Matters.
Most of the rest is not.
Learning What Matters has
made my life easier and more
joyous. It has made me a more
pleasant person to be around. I
still get cranky from time to time,
especially when I'm tired. Cer-
tainly I get frustrated, and I'm
working on that, but I don't
whine for long because chances
are good whatever I'm com-
plaining about is not part of
What Matters.
Last week was Tisha B'Av,
and I found it interesting that
across the board I heard the
same response when I told peo-
ple I was fasting: "I can't do it, I
just can't. I can't even make it on
Yom Kippur. I just get too hun-
gry. I mean, I'm starving by 2
p.m."
They can make it, of course.
They just don't want to. And a
slight hunger is not part of What
Matters.
I don't want to fast, either. I
hate fasting, and to
make it even more
complicated I have
a terrible fear about
not being able to
drink water. Just
the idea of it makes
me shake, makes
my throat constrict.
But then I think about people
for whom "I'm starving," really
means something. I used to say
it all the time on Yom Kippur,
and now I'm ashamed. Consider
those families who have had
nothing to eat for days, who must
watch as their children literally
starve to death. Think of those
men and women in the Holo-
caust whose bodies withered
away to little more than bones.
What a wonderful, easy life
most of us have. We have shel-
ter, food, families, health. Yet still
we complain. How little we ask
of ourselves, and how little we
know of What Matters. ❑

After a while,
you lea rn What
Matt ers.