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DIANE BALDWIN SPECIAL TO THE APPLETREE
have a secret. When my
son cries, I hold him.
It may not sound like
much of a secret, but it is.
This is because of all the nega-
tive comments and suggestions
that come my way when I re-
veal my habit.
When Nick was only a few
weeks old, well-meaning
friends and relatives thought it
was "the right thing to do,"
that is, maternal instincts. They
reasoned that he was "just a
baby" and needed to feel se-
cure and reassured.
But four months later, those
same, well-meaning friends
and relatives offer unsolicited
comments (and knowing
looks) about our routine. "He
knows you'll come every time
he cries" (I hope so; it's the
only way he can communi-
cate); "You're going to spoil
him" (Is it possible to spoil him
by responding in a caring way
to his basic needs?); "He's ma-
nipulating you" (Is my baby
out to get me?); and my fa-
vorite, "You'll never get any-
thing done if you hold him all
day." I' think about that last one
a lot because it is the prevailing
cry of others. My reply is al-
ways the same: "I don't have
that much that needs to be
done."
But maybe I do.
My husband's uniforms are
wrinkled (I notice through
sleep-deprived eyes as he kisses
me goodbye in the morning).
My eyebrows are slowly grow-
ing together (but you'll notice
only if you look closely). Last
week at the doctor's office, I
saw (shamefully) that I had for-
gotten to shave my legs before
the visit (that was the day Nick
cried real tears as I hurriedly
showered). If you get down on
your hands and knees, you'll
notice that the baseboards in
my kitchen are collecting
gunk. (Maybe you wouldn't
mind picking up the big pieces;
sweeping daily is no longer a
priority in my house). The
newborn clothes that Nick
speedily outgrew are stuffed in
a bag in the back room, sorted
and labeled for baby No. 2. My
maternity clothes are still hang-
ing in the closet (okay, I still
wear a few of the smaller
ones).
I could probably list 100 oth-
er chores that would further
organize and deodorize my
house (thankfully, my husband
puts people before things, too,
so he understands our less-
than-perfect house). This must
be the "anything" people are
referring to when they say
"You'll never get anything
done."
Just so you understand: I do
not hold Nick all day. He plays
and coos and sleeps and
watches me make silly faces.
And I do manage to pick up
the house, do the laundry,
make the bed, prepare meals
and visit a mother's group
once a week. I even talk on
the phone and visit with
friends.
But I'd say the majority of
my hours each day are spent
holding my son or playing,
laughing, talking, singing, read-
ing and exploring. Whenever I
begin to fret about the list of
things I "could" or "should"
do, I remind myself of the tod-
dlers I know who wriggle and
scurry out of their parents'
arms because they have gained
their independence and no
longer want to cuddle. I know
that soon Nick will want to ex-
plore on his own and he will
spend hours (or at least several
minutes) away from his mom-
my. Maybe then I'll have time
to paint my toenails and orga-
nize my closets. If I still want
to. ❑
nfant &Juvenile
umiture
Visit our
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Cribs, Chests,
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We also carry a
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Proppy Pillow
Choose from an assortment
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•have a family story,..
1,J
memoryor adventure you would
like to share with our.readers?
Please send to
As We See It-The-40'64'ms. .
27676 Franklin Road.
-
- -
thfield MI 48034.
Submiasions must be typed
and should be no longer than
double-spaced pages.
d
The home of Baby Boutique..
rape ri
Walled Lk
39800 14 M5e Rd.
(248) 669-0330
Canton
42775 Ford Rd.
(313) 981-7400
tr,
DIANE BALDWIN is a happy new mother and freelance writer who lives in Clarkston.
off
0.1
Ford R.
1
o u t s q
rn
H
U)
eNC.
"Wben you uant the unique!' Since 1969
Farmington Hills
30854 Ott hard Lk Rd
(248) 626-4313
Sterling Heights
37130 an Dyke
(810) 795-1500
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6046 Rochester Rd
(248) 879-1010
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