Just For Her

Families create
rituals for their
daughters.

THE APPLETREE

JILL DAVIDSON-SKLAR
SPECIAL TO THE APPLETREE

14

or years, many Jew-
ish males have gazed
at the same photo-
graph the first few
pages of their baby books. With
a bundled face looking any-
thing less than content, the
child is most likely surrounded
by relatives who beam proudly
or wince as they turn a shade
too pale.
The picture, from a brit mi-
lah, was something little girls
do not have. But a relatively re-
cent wave, Jewish feminism,
has given baby girls and their
parents a reason to celebrate.
Baby-naming ceremonies have
seen a growing popularity.
"The growth in the naming
ceremony for girls has really
been a search for an equally im-
portant statement of their en-
trance into the covenant," said
Nancy Kaplan, a local educator.
"It is a classical Jewish idea that
women are part of the brit
(covenant) with God, that they
are no less a part of the brit
than a boy."
While for centuries the
Sephardic communities have
celebrated, with elaborate fes-
tivities, the birth of a daughter,
the Ashkenazim generally have
preferred more sedate affairs.
Traditionally, the father is called
to the Torah on the first oppor-
tunity following the birth of the
girl. There, he recites a blessing
and announces the baby's
name. Mostly likely, the little
girl and the mother do not at-
tend.
In the past 20 years, though,
there have been numerous

transformations in the cere-
monies, illustrated in part by
the number of names by which
it is known, including simchat
bat, shalom bat, brit keciusha
and shalom nekeva
Just as there is no one name
for the ceremony, there is no
halachically prescribed ritual, as
exists with the brit milah for
boys. Modem parents have
come up with different celebra-
tions, either mimicking the brit
milah (without the cut, of
course), or scrapping it all and
starting anew.
According to Anita Diamant
in The Jewish Baby Book, the
modem ceremonies generally
include four parts, the first be-
ing a welcoming greeting, fol-
lowed by readings and prayers
by the parents or the rabbi.
The second part involves the
entering into the covenant by
the girl. This is done through
symbolic acts or blessings.
Rabbi Aaron Bergman of
Congregation Beth Abraham
Hillel Moses said that he and
his wife Ruth gave each of their
three daughters a Kiddush cup
and had trees planted in their
honor in Israel. They also recit-
ed prayers and explained the
meaning of their daughters'
names. "We wanted every part
to have meaning," he said.
The third portion of the cere-
mony involves the naming of
the girl, along with any expla-
nation of her name or remem-
brances of those for whom the
child was named. The recita-
tion of the Shechiyanu general-
ly ends this portion.

"The Jew has two personali-
ties," said Rabbi Steven Well of
Young Israel of Oak Park. He is
the father of five, three of
whom are girls. "One is that
they are a unique entity and
the second is that they are a
part of a covenantal communi-

ty. 77

The fourth part of the cere-
mony involves a meal and par-
tY.
Hopefully, someone will re-
member the camera.

The Where And The When
Before new parents choose
the menu or plan the guest list
of their daughter's baby naming,
Anita Diamant suggests they
pick the where and the when of
the blessed event

Where?
Spiritual and family homes
are both popular choices.
Synagogue: Since most new
parents love to boast about their
little joy to anyone who will lis-
ten, why not invite the entire
community to the naming?
After the formal services con-
clude, some families choose to

host a kiddush while others rent
the social hall and cater an en-
tire meal.
Home. While the thought of
having company in the days
following birth may seem
daunting, having the celebra-
tion at home has its advan-
tages. For one, the size of the
soiree can be limited to a few
close relatives and friends,
making the gathering intimate
by its very nature. For another,
mother and child do not have
to travel and can remain rest-
ing.

L\

When?
No time is prescribed, but
some days are more appropri-
ate. Eight days following the
birth mirrors the time period be- ' 1-\/
tween birth and a brit milah.
Fourteen days after birth marks
the time of ritual impurity fol-
lowing the birth of a daughter.
Thirty days after birth follows
the belief that a child was viable
after 30 days. Rosh Chodesh,
celebrating the new moon and
known as a women's holiday,
also is a popular choice for a
baby naming.

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