Rated PG-13 "life" — which can't include his wife. She's remarried, to Sim- mons' best friend, Terry (D.B. murdered mercenary re- Sweeney), and they now have a turns from the dead as an child. unlikely costumed hero in A mysterious man named pawn. Cogliostro (Nicol Williamson) — While the film tries to recreate whom Spawn accurately and de- some of the look of Todd McFar- risively refers to as a "Yoda" — lane's immensely popular seems to know all about comic book, the result is Spawn's powers and fate, MOVIES hard on both the eyes and and helps him fight the mind. Spawn opens with clown from Hell. This leads Al Simmons (Michael Jai White) to several action-packed but point- assassinating some folks in a most less fight scenes, full of sound and unheroic manner. Why? Because morphing but signifying nothing. Simmons' boss, Jason Wynn Spawn has little to offer any (Martin Sheen), is in cahoots with but the most rabid fans. The act- a demon from Hell (John ing is mostly wooden, due in no Leguizamo), who's taken the form small part to the script. White, Randle, Sweeney and Williamson try but can do little with their roles. Leguizamo has the showiest part, and gets points just for putting on that constricting costume, but is just plain irritating (his speech is filled with distracting movie and TV references, kind of like the Genie from Aladdin). Sheen, a pro, comes off best as the hammy bad guy Wynn, but he's no Hannibal Lecter. And de- but director Mark Dippe previously created special effects for Jurassic Park and other pictures, but even on that level Spawn falls short. Spawn's cos tume looks like playdough. The scenes of Hell look like Michael Jai White stars in Spawn. those unfocused magic 3-D of a wise-cracking, dwarfish clown_ pictures. Even the credits are The demon wants Wynn to jump- painful to watch. They don't stop start Armageddon ; and also to re- vibrating long enough for you to cruit Simmons (he's a paid killer read them without suffering eye- after all). strain. So Wynn kills Simmons, who If you're a Spawn fan, you're then makes a vague deal with the better off rereading your comics, devil to return to Earth to see his or looking for the animated series wife, Wanda (Theresa Randle). currently running on HBO. Simmons is resurrected five years Everyone else, abandon all hope later as a mass of "necroplasm" ye who enter here. dubbed Spawn (short for Hellspawn), with face and body burned beyond recognition, and a costume with magic chains and a —Stephen Bitsoli computer-animated cape (it seems to magically appear whenever it will look cool). He also has some vague magical powers that he's warned are limited (when he uses them up, he'll return to Hell ... for- Very Good ever!). Soon Spawn's trying to avenge his death, and adjust to his new As Rated R lands Fletcher in a men- tal hospital with a gag- gle of federal agents th be told, there are actu- clamoring for custody. ally two conspiracies at work Chief among the feds is in Conspiracy Theory: one oc- a mysterious psychia- Tcu1 rring on screen, the other trist named Jonas taking place behind the scenes. ("Star Trek's" Patrick The on-screen story focuses on Stewart) who has a Jerry Fletcher (Mel Gibson), a bab- zealous concern for bling, paranoid taxi-cab driver who Fletcher's whereabouts lives in a booby-trapped fortress that piques Sutton's cu- of an apartment. From there, safe riosity. from intruders and spies, he pub- Soon enough, she lishes a rag devoted to far-fetched gets entangled in conspiracy postulations. In Gib- Fletcher's plight and the son's world view, a conspiracy ex- two spend the remain- ists behind every aspect of life, der of the film evading from fluoride in the water system double agents, brain- to overseas earthquakes; and he washed assassins and is eager to explain his realistic plot turns. theories, disjointed as Initially, the film MOVIES they may be, to any- works as a humor- one within earshot. ous commentary on After watching him foist his modern politics with rhetoric on countless unsuspect- Fletcher spewing such Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts in Conspiracy Theory. ing citizens of New York City, we nonsensical propagan- learn that Alice Sutton (Julia da that one wonders if some of it The behind-the-scenes conspir- Roberts) is among the few who are could actually be true. As the sto- acy alluded to above is much eas- willing to listen. It seems that Sut- ry evolves, however, it becomes ev- ier to follow. It involves pairing the ton, an attorney for the United ident that the film does not aspire leading male box office attraction States Department of Justice, re- to any ideal beyond creating some with the most popular actress in served a soft spot for the volatile political intrigue, and, for a while, cinema in an insidious plot to sep- Fletcher after he rescued her from that works too. arate you from your entertain- a mugging some six months ear- Unfortunately, as the story ment dollar. And it will probably lier. grows more complicated, it be- succeed. Soon, Sutton's loyalty is tested, comes less sophisticated, ulti- when an arrest for a public tirade mately bogging down in its own ennui before limping to the finish RichmANalprinisan — Richard Halpin line. attorney I film critic. - Bagel Barometer __Outstanding Stephen Bitsoli is an editorial assistant at The Macomb Daily. No Etages...", ........ .AlArfui 'Air Bud' Rated PG ir Bud is about a lonely boy who finds a dog-who turns out to be his best friend and makes him popular. Kids who are 4-14 years old will real- ly like this movie. Josh Framm, a 12-year-old boy, moves to a new town and has no friends and no one to talk to. Since his father's death, he's lost interest in basketball, his fa- vorite sport, but finds an old, abandoned court to play on One day on the court, Josh meets a stray dog named Buddy. Josh discovers that Buddy loves to A Nathan Greenberg (age 9) and Matthew Greenberg (age 6 1 /2) are brothers. They attend Hillel Day School and live in. Franklin. play basketball, and can actually shoot hoops! Josh joins the school basketball team, and Buddy becomes the team mascot. When Bud- dy's former owner hears about Bud- dy's success, he takes Buddy back because he wants to make money off him. It is really sad and not joyful enough for kids. We liked the Kevin Zegers stars with- Buddy in Air Bud. movie because Bud- Matthew — 1/2 dy was an amazing actor and be- cause they did not use any Nathan — special effects. Buddy actually — Matthew and shot the hoops! Nathan Greenberg PHOTO BY ANDREW COO PER 'Conspiracy Theory' 'Spawn'