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The Rabbinic Scene

"'

r4'MEMBER - Directors Guild of America
car6+ yrs Professional Experience

Loving one another is a way to get closer to God.

W

hen I was asked to I am, increasingly, every day,
write a piece on love, I more and more in love with her.
was, of course, hon-
With this in mind, my sense
ored. But what to say? is that the first friend didn't
Obviously, love is good. Ju- mean to slight the cornerstone
daism is into love. But as a top- of modern wisdom which holds
ic, it's too broad.
that communication is the key
Referencing our sacred texts, to everything. I believe he would
I chose to focus on the
be the first to realize,
commandments that
as Adrienne and I
directly address the
have come to realize,
topic: "Love the Lord
that if something
your God" and "Love
hurts, speak about it,
your neighbor as your-
share it, work it
self."
through. Love, after
Although I believe
all, is a two-way
God is met through
street. I believe that
interactions with
story meant to center
peers, I have chosen to
on a failing that af-
concentrate on the lat-
fects most of us.
ter. After all, as we're
Oftentimes we do
created in the image
not take as good a
RA RBI
of God, when we love
look at each other as
one another it's as if DAVID CA STIGLIONE we should. We pre-
SPECIAL TO THE
we are loving God.
vent ourselves from
JEWISH NEWS
There is a story of
loving. The result is
two friends who were
that we do not know
walking down a path toward each other as well as we think
their village. One friend asked we do.
the other, "Do you love
me?"
With surprise in his
voice, the second friend
exclaimed, "Do I love you?
Of course I love you!
We're friends for 26 years.
Such a question!"
"Good," said the first.
"I am gratified to know I
have your love. It means
a lot to me."
As they continued
down the path, he then
asked, "So you know
what hurts me?"
At this, the second
friend stopped. "What
hurts you? My friend, if
you should tell me what
hurts you, then I would
know. But as of yet, you
haven't said a word."
"Ah," replied the first
with a sigh, "I under-
stand. But if you truly
loved me, you'd know
what hurts me."
When my wife, Adri-
enne, and I were first
married, there was an ex-
pectation that I would automat-
ically know what troubled her.
If I really loved her, I wouldn't
have to ask what was wrong; I
would automatically know.
In time, I suppose, we have
come to almost intuitively know
the situations and triggers that
Behind every title stands a
can bring us high or send us low.
But to this day, I am no better human being. Within every or-
at mind-reading than I was ganization are individuals. At
when we first began — although the heart of every human effort,
there is a soul.
David Castiglione is a rabbi at
We are so quick to judge,
Temple Beth El.
quick to assume the unbeliev-

Love is a two-way
street.

PROFESSION AL Broadcast Equipment
ua-DIRECTOR - Major T.V. Station

able, to abandon patience, give
up on love. The result is a hu-
man being, a soul, that at best
must celebrate alone, at worst
suffer alone.
Is it perhaps that we feel so
little loved, or love ourselves so
little, that we have no strength
to extend love to others?
The outcome of such a failing
is that where love should
flourish, it flounders. Where it
should bring us closer together,
it is banished: and we grow fur-
ther apart.
Once, a long time ago, I took
a position with a congregation.
My predecessor advised me to
watch out for a particular indi-
vidual. "She's crazy," I was told.
"She's trouble with a capital T."
Sure enough, in my first days
there, I received a call. Only
a few moments into the
conversation, the individual I
had been warned about began to
complain and accuse, became
ever more hostile until at one
point she began sobbing uncon-
trollably.
As I listened, I realized
there was a whole lot of
pain in her life — a lot of
disappointment and
stress — and that all the
things she claimed as the
cause for her distress
were, in fact, only fronts
for much deeper issues.
I invited her to meet
with me. We met. Taking
a long, hard look, I saw a
beautiful soul — not
crazy, not mean. Wanti-
ng to love but unable to
see her way clear from
her troubles.
I wonder how much
could have been lost had
I only listened to my pre-
decessor and not taken
the time to see for myself
the individual behind the
"trouble." Had I conced-
ed to my colleague's as-
sessment and assumed
the worst was true, I
would have given into the
absurd; I would have giv-
en up on love.
We are commanded to love
God. The road toward loving God
is traveled through loving one
another. But to love each other,
we must first take the time to
get to know one another. To do
this, we must first see each oth-
er as human beings, souls with
wondrous intent, innate and in-
nocent beauty.
Communication yes, but
predicated on a willingness to
meet each other as equals — de-
serving, requiring love. Every-
where.

❑

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