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deal of positive energy," she
says.
Rooted in Jewish law and cus-
tom is the idea that when a man
and woman come together in
marriage, it is a time of blessing
and closeness to God. The Torah
states that man and woman
were created incomplete; they
become whole when linked to-
gether as husband and wife.
Because of these statements
from the Torah, many pre-wed-
ding activities are directed to-
ward a spiritual end, which
encourage bride and groom to
spend time preparing for the big
day: spiritually, emotionally and
practically. Bride and groom
study Jewish laws, customs and
perspectives on marriage.
An example — found in Rab-
bi Aryeh Kaplan's handbook,
Made in Heaven — is the
kallah's first immersion in a
walks around the groom.
The act of circling is also ex-
plained as a symbol of the
woman protecting her husband
from harm, according to Rabbi
Maurice Lamm's The Jewish
Way In Love and Marriage. An-
other interpretation, he writes,
is that the action creates a cir-
cle of privacy, inside which the
bride and groom build a new life
together.
Torah tradition also gives a
couple an opportunity to trans-
fer the energy from their wed-
ding into the first week of their
marriage — through sheva bra-
chot (seven blessings). That
week, a couple's family and
friends organize as many as sev-
en festive gatherings, each cen-
tered around a meal. Sheva •
brachot help the couple make
a transition into this new phase
of their lives.
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Noam Raz's nuptials are celebrated by dancing male guests.
mikvah (ritual bath). Many new
brides say that first dip brings
them a closeness to God — more
so than they had previously ex-
perienced; others say it is like a
spiritual rebirth, and the woman
emerges a new person, in a new,
married life.
Circling
creates a circle
of privacy.
Another custom is a wedding-
day fast. "The bride and groom
fast to disassociate themselves
from the physical," making them
better able to focus on the spir-
itual aspects of their marriage,
Made in Heaven explains. Like
a little Yom Kippur, on a cou-
ple's wedding day it is as if their
sins are wiped clean.
The marriage ceremony itself
is symbolic of the seven days of
creation. This idea manifests
through the recitation of seven
blessings under the chuppah,
and the seven circles the bride
After months of planning for
one day, the sheva brachot also
help a couple to avoid feeling let
down after the day is over.
Darra Phillips, a West Bloom-
field native who now lives in
Jerusalem with her husband
and daughter, says some of
her most joyful moments have
been at religious Jewish wed-
dings.
"You are seeing each other in
a very supportive, loving envi-
ronment surrounded by friends
and family," she says. "When
missiles are falling on Tel Aviv
or there is a bus bombing in
Jerusalem, a Jew sitting in De-
troit watching the news feels an
emotional connection to their Ju-
daism," Phillips says. "But why
do we have to wait for a bus
bombing, when we can take the
power of the creation of a new
family at a wedding to more
strongly feel that connection?
'When Jews are involved in
working toward the same goal,
a special strength exists, mak-
ing it a time of blessing. And
when you feel the most con-
nected to other people, you feel
the most connected to God." ❑
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