lowance and does not do his
household tasks, consider say-
ing, "Are you going to put your
toys away, or do you want to
pay me to put your toys
away?"
Parenting styles vary a great
deal. Some moms and dads are
like helicopters that hover over
their child's every move. They
feel the child cannot do any-
thing on his or her own. Other
parents act like drill sergeants
and bark out orders left and
right.
"The role of a consultant is
ideal," Mrs. Faitler said. "In
this manner, a parent can give a
child guidance, advice and
teach them to problem-solve."
Some ideas:
Ask, "What would be best
for you?" or say, "Feel free to

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when
or "You can either do it

or

77

Tell your children problems
that occurred when you were
young and ask what they
would have done.
Mrs. Faitler also suggested
making positive statements
rather than negative ones. In-
stead of saying "no" every time
your child wants a cookie, try,
"you can have a cookie after
dinner, or you can ride your
bike when your homework is-
done."
Is giving your child choices
the Jewish way to parenting?
"Yes," Mrs. Faitler said.
"King Solomon said that it is
important to train a child ac-
cording to his way. Parenting
by giving your child choices
and letting him learn from con-
sequences is consistent with
the Torah." ❑

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