TO DATE page 45

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1947 FORD
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Simon and Neupert don't no-
tice too many differences be-
tween them, "because Dave isn't
religious," Simon says. His fam-
ily does celebrate Christmas, but
it's "more of a family get-to-
gether and gift-giving event vs.
a religious event.
"It would bother me more if
he went to church a lot. We were
both coming from the same
point, family and tradition-ori-
ented."
Neupert grew up Presbyter-
i an. "It wasn't serious in our
family, just kind of there," he
says. After an eighth-grade con-
firmation, he "chose not to pur-
sue it.
"What's more important is
tradition," he says. "When I first
started dating Michelle, [I] rec-
ognized tradition and heritage

[are emphasized more] than re-
ligion, at least in our circle," Ne-
upert says.
"I actually found it exciting,
learning about new a culture, re-
ligion," Neupert says. 'Me world
would be a better place if every-
body was able to see different
cultures and open their eyes to
different things."
Neupert and Simon have
found no stumbling blocks, in-
cluding the forthcoming wed-
ding.
"I wanted a Jewish wedding,
and Dave did not have a prob-
lem with that," Simon says. "I
feel very strong about my Jew-
ish background so it's important
for me to have a Jewish wed-
ding, and he kept saying 'I love
Jewish weddings, so that sounds
great."'

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RESPECT page 45

already graduated from Michi-
gan State University with a
bachelor's degree in commu-
nications and was launching a
professional hockey career
with the Boston Bruins;
Smolinski has skated the
perimeter of rinks in Boston,
where he was drafted in the
first round (21st pick overall);
Pittsburgh; and Long Island.
Although he was living in
Boston, he and Goldsmith met
at MSU; in the off-season,
Smolinski trains in the Lans-
ing area. Goldsmith had one
year to go at State before re-
ceiving her criminal justice de-
gree.
In the beginning of the re-
lationship, religion wasn't the
first topic on their list. "There
were other, more important is-
sues when we first met, so it
never really came up," Gold-
smith says.
"I was still in college, and he
was a professional athlete who
was on the road a lot. We had
to deal with more than just re-
ligion."
While Mrs. Goldsmith nev-
er pushed her daughter re-
garding what religion her
boyfriends should be, Gold-
smith herself expected to mar-
ry Jewish.
But she fell in love with
Smolinski. They know bring-
ing two religions to a marriage
can pose potential problems,
but they're dealing with them,
one by one.
Like holidays. The NHL
season which runs from Oc-
tober to April and sometimes
later, for playoffs — conflicts
with many holidays, Jewish
and Catholic alike.
"Ever since we met, Pd come
home for at least the first night
of Rosh Hashanah, and for
Yom Kippur and Passover,"

Goldsmith says. "He's never
been able to because he's had
hockey going on. Even though
the Islanders' season had end-
ed before Passover, he had
functions he had committed to
in New York."
Smolinski agrees. "Julie re-
spects what I do, and she
wouldn't ask me to miss hock-
ey unless it was really impor-
tant to her. I've sacrificed
everything to get where I'm at
now."
Last Christmas, they deco-
rated a tree in their house and
lit Chanukah candles.
When they marry tomorrow
at the Dearborn Inn, Smolin-
ski and Goldsmith will be
joined in the gazebo by Miri-
am Jerrie, a Humanistic morat
h'am who will incorporate Jew-
ish and Christian traditions
into the wedding ceremony;
wine-drinking and glass-
breaking from the Jewish side;
candle-lighting from Chris-
tianity. "Part of what 'I will
emphasize is how they relate
as people," says Jerris, "and
that they've stripped them-
selves of their labels and
learned to love and respect
each other, despite their dif-
ferences."
Although it's not yet an is-
sue, the pair has briefly dis-
cussed how to raise children in
two religions.
"We haven't talked about it
a lot," Sinolinski says, "but
probably we'll do a little of
both." Which way they go
might also depend on where
they are living, and where they
are at in their lives, he adds.
At 25, "I've lived a lot,"
Smolinski says. "I'm on my
third team, and I've learned
never to downgrade anyone be-
cause they are different
yo

"I've learned a lot as we'
planned it," says Neupert, ub eee v
exposed to different traditions n
Pm excited to be a part of it" •
Among
ong d
friends, there is a mix — a b out 8
half date only "in," while to ut
oeother
w i g: half M
on't
have
arniA:plir
r' .
n ne o eo "I
" i have
vimeveearyug irlfriend
riitehIdnw wh o
married a man who's not
Jewish,
she just told me she had some-
to
r 1 with
Jewish I was torn: [Here
was] someone I could meet
but from my last few exped:
ences, I just didn't want to go
there."
Some of Michael Weinraub's
friends date non-Jewish women,
"and it bothers me that
they don't feel as though it's an
issue for them. The assimilation
issue actually is real important
to me."
"When I was in USY, I wrote
a speech, which discussed
assimilation. I was almost
preaching to the congregation,
`Don't assimilate, don't inter.
many."'
Ten years later, when Wein•
raub was dating a gentile girl,
he ran across that speech. Soon
after, the relationship ended. 'It
was almost as though I sent my-
self a message from 10 years be-
fore."
Among his friends, he sees a
mix of priorities.
"The people that are really
committed [to only dating Jews]
were raised in more of a
Conservative-Orthodox situa-
tion. And people who were not
[raised in that environment] are
not as concerned about that
slippery spiral towards assimi-
lation."
It doesn't have to be limiting,
he says. "There are a lot of
things .YAD, YASS, especial-
ly here in the Detroit area. If
they are committed to dating
only Jewish people, it's very easy
to do it here."
Kevin Giles says most of his
friends would "probably be hap-
pier dating a Jew but being that
most of my friends are in their
30s now, they would probably go
either way."
Does the perspective change
as you age? "It could be a sign of
desperation," Giles says.
Lisa Barson admires her
friends who "date whoever they
care about, because it's not that
their commitment is any less,
but they can accept a person and
work with it more than I was
able to. In the sense that you can
learn from somebody else and
teach somebody else, they're
more broad-minded."
Many of her friends share I
her Jews-only viewpoint,
have a number of friends
who just want to meet the right
guy, whoever he is. That s a
personal thing, not right or
wrong." ❑