Guy's Eye View
Celebrate
the Fourth with
Talkin' girls and drinkin' beer.
dazzling jewelry
L
from
M.B. Jewelers.
. B. Jewe lr /Tor ism s
ast week I went to a bar in to miss a Red Wings game because
Royal Oak with my buddy she had made us movie plans with
Al. While he sat talking to her friends.
the woman he'd been fixed
And especially the time we fi-
up with two weeks earlier, I count- nally had dinner with my parents.
ed the number of patrons scan-
These lessons, like everything
- ning the room in search of else in life, are all about timing. If
something, anything appealing.
a man is mature enough to con-
When his date finally got up to front the ordeals of dating — even
rejoin the throngs of loud-talkers, though he's still placed at the kids'
I asked Al how things were going. table for Passover — he'll be able
"The only problem,"
to commit to a serious re-
he looked in her direc-
lationship.
tion, "is that I'm a little
As one of the most
nervous to get too seri-
competitive people I
ous."
know, I was a little ap-
Until recently, I was
prehensive about playing
like many of the guys at
racquetball with my girl-
that bar. But now I've
friend's father. Rumor
been dating the same
had it he was good and
woman for more than
that I'd get beat real bad.
six months. We've
But, being young, in
MARC
laughed through the
shape and a pretty good
ROSENBLATT
awkwardness (trying to
player myself, I took the
SPECIAL TO THE
eat a full meal in front
challenge. I figured I
JEWISH NEWS
of each other) and talked
could at least run down
through the craziness (sorting out anything he threw at me until he
where we thought our relationship quit from exhaustion.
- should go).
"Hah!" I could almost hear him
"We men have to get our lives saying each time he ran me back,
together before it's possible to have forth, to, fro, here and there before
a serious relationship," I told Al, finishing me off. When the match
a fresh Heineken in hand.
finally ended, he had won 75 of
"Until then, we're still too im- the 77 possible points and I was
pressionable, looking for the dif- almost too embarrassed to shake
ferent pieces of our personalities." his hand, worrying that my
It's a bit old-fashioned to say sweaty shirt might stain his clean
that the man takes care of the one.
woman, but most of us have been
I walked off the racquetball
brought up to think that way. court and went straight to the gym
That's why most men don't even to play one-on-one with a third-
think about marriage — let alone grader.
having a serious girlfriend — un-
Later that night, I had dinner
til their own lives are established, with my girlfriend and her fami-
both personally and professional- ly, and we laughed about the
ly.
match. Sure, I was embarrassed,
For me, my mid-twenties was but after passing the two-month
when it all came together. After mark of a relationship with no
toiling around someone else's of- problem, a guy can handle being
fice for a year, I decided to work humiliated by a man twice his age.
for myself, creating a career that
But I digress. The point is that
gives me the freedom and oppor- while dating is difficult, anything
tunity to be creative. Job search: serious is nearly impossible for
complete.
men if they're not mature enough
Finished throwing away rent to handle all that comes with it.
money each month, I bought a
I know some guys who have
house where I could build my been able to date seriously since
dreams. Living situation: taken high school, but others couldn't
care of.
handle it until college or even lat-
And, I finally started doing er. That's a personal thing with no
things for me, leaving behind my real protocol. Once guys are ready,
college insecurities of always hav- though, watch out.
ing to please other people. Ego: in-
Having given Al the informa-
tact.
tion that I thought would help him
Having checked these items off with his confusion, I tipped back
my list, I was ready to explore the the last of my beer and again start-
possibility of including another ed scoping the bar scene.
person in my future. I was ready
"Marc," Al said. "What are you
to start dating for real. Little did talking about? I'm nervous to get
I know the short race I had just involved with this girl because
completed would now lead me she's not Jewish — not because
■ into a different kind of marathon. I'm not ready for a relationship."
"You want me to go out to din-
"Oh, sorry," I said, handing my
ner with your parents!" I remem- empty bottle to the waitress,
ber panicking. And that was only "that's a completely different prob-
the first hurdle.
lem."
There was the first time I had
I ordered two more beers. 0
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