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Could Captain Picard be Jewish?

ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR

\

Q: When I was a little girl I had
an Uncle Abe who, like my parents,
came here from Russia. My broth-
er and I used to make fun of the way
he talked. He would call a plumber
a "plom-ber," a painter was a
"paintner" and he pronounced iron
"eye-rahn."
The other day I was reminded of
him. I have a granddaughter in the
fifth grade at a Jewish day school
who is taking a class in the geog-
raphy of Israel. When she came to
visit, she brought her geography
book and told me all about the re-
gions of the country, including what
she called the "eerone" valley. I
looked at the map in the book and
it showed the Iron Valley. My grand-
daughter, of course, is brilliant, but
now she sounds like my Uncle Abe.
Or could she be right?
A: This is reminiscent of the
old joke about the tourists who
can't agree on what to call the
islands: Hawaii or Havaii.
When they approach an elder-
ly Hawaiian man for the correct
pronunciation, he tells them,
"It's Havaii." The tourists thank
him. He replies: "You're vel-
come."
Like all Jewish children, your
granddaughter is no doubt bril-
liant. In this particular case she
also has the correct pronuncia-
tion. It might help if you imag-
ine the word as spelled "Irron"
in English.
In Hebrew, "Iron" begins
with the letter ayin, which
properly is pronounced in
the back of the throat with
a kind of choking sound.
Long ago, Ashkenazi Jews
abandoned this pronunciation
of the ayin. Even in Israel to-
day, where the majority of
Jews are non-Ashkenazi, the
ayin is not pronounced as a
guttural.
A letter with the same name
and same sound exists in Ara-
bic, where it is definitely a gut-
tural. In most academic
transliterations of Hebrew and
Arabic, the ayin is shown as an
apostrophe followed by the rel-
evant letter (a,e,i,o,u).
If your granddaughter gets
hold of a detailed map of Israel,
she can show you Ein Iron (a
moshav near Pardes Chana),
Nachal Iron (a stream), the Iron
Hills, and Tzomet Iron, a road
junction.

Q: Please, don't put me in the
same category as those dopes who
are addicted to soap operas, or
those boneheads who won't even
answer the phone during "ER." But
I have to admit that I'm addicted to
"Star Trek." It's the best thing on
TV! I've already decided that if I
meet a woman who has a figure like
Marilyn Monroe, hair like Cindy
Crawford and is as funny as Ellen
DeGeneres, I'm still not marrying
her unless she watches
"Star Trek."
As I'm sure you know, be-
cause Tell Me Why knows
everything, "Star Trek: The
Next Generation" features a
Captain Picard. My mother
thinks he's Jewish, because
she says Picard is a Jewish
name. It sure doesn't sound
Jewish to me. What's the story?
A. It seems unlikely Captain
Picard is Jewish (have you ever
heard about the religious lean-
ings of any of those guys who
boldly go where no one has gone
before?), though Gene Roden-
berry, creator of the original
"Star Trek," was, and of course
William "Captain Kirk" Shat-
ner is Jewish, as is Leonard
"Mr. Spock" Nimoy.
Your mother is correct,
though, in that a number of
Jews are named Picard. These
include Jacob Picard, a German
author and poet, and Leo Pi-
card, an Israeli geologist.
Jacob Picard, born in 1883,
was a successful attorney and
writer before the Nazis came to
power. He escaped to New York
in 1940, where he continued his
writing career. His stories fo-
cused mostly on tales of Jewish
life in the shtetl.
Leo Picard, born in 1900, was
the first chairman of the He-
brew University of Jerusalem's
department of geology. He re-
ceived the 1958 Israel Prize in
natural sciences.

0: I know that in addition to tie-
ing a Jewish scholar, Maimonides
was a prominent physician of his
time. I was wondering whether any
of his remedies for ailments are still
around, and still relevant?
A: Several years ago an
Israeli author published a
collection of medicinal recipes

per month

he claims were advocated
by Maimonides and other an-
cient Jewish physicians. It's
called Wondrous Healings of
the Wise Kabbalists, by David
Lustig, and it's quite a strange
book.
Many of the "medicines" list-
ed contain obscure ingredients
or irrelevant information ("Kid-
ney beans have the character-
istic of causing loss of the
mind.")

I

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There are a few fairly harm-
less ideas you might want to
try, though. According to Mr.
Lustig, Maimonides recom-
mended using artichokes to
"perfume the body" (sadly, no
instructions are included on
how to make an artichoke de-
odorant) and eating almonds to
"guard the brain, both its skin
and its mucous." Chewing on
sugar cane, Maimonides said,
helped improve eyesight, and
eating lemon peel could im-
prove the heart.
Among the "remedies" listed
that Tell Me Why does not rec-
ommend is one for baldness:
"Bum the heads of mice to ash
powder and mix with honey,
then strain through a sieve. Ap-
ply this ointment to the scalp ...
and the hair will grow again.
Also the excrement of the
mouse, rubbed to a powder and
mixed with vinegar, will help
those afflicted with hair loss.
But even more effective than
the above remedies is the skin
of the viper snake rubbed to a
powder and mixed with raw
honey ..."

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