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Saying Goodbye

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Judaism offers specific rules to follow
when a loved one dies.

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LYNNE MEREDITH COHN STAFF WRITER

hen a Jew dies, it is
still customary across
all organized move-
ments to bury the
body as quickly as possible. But
in some circles — Reform and
Humanistic — it has become ac-
ceptable to cremate the de-
ceased.
The Conservative and Or-
thodox movements, however,
say no to this practice. "Judaism
forbids cremation," says Rabbi
Efry Spectre of Adat Shalom
Synagogue in Farmington Hills.
Rabbi Elimelech Silberberg,
of Bais Chabad of West Bloom-
field, quotes a Torah portion
from Deuteronomy, Chapter 21,
Verse 23: "You must bury him."
,----C'He says it is "a positive com-
mandment to bury [the body],"
and that cremation would be de-
fying the commandment.
For Rabbi Spectre, the idea of
cremation is reminiscent of Nazi
crematoria and absolutely "un-
thinkable." He says, "The body
is to be committed to the earth."

F

• Deep

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Rabbi Norman Roman, of
Temple Kol Ami in West Bloom-
field, says the Reform move-
ment permits cremation but
does "not necessarily encourage"
it.
Most Reform rabbis will par-
ticipate in a funeral where the
body is cremated, he says. Still,
"we encourage there to be some
kind of eternal memorial place,
whether it's a plaque [or] burial
of the remains. Psychological-
ly and emotionally, it is very im-
portant that there be a place for
people to come."
A decade ago, the Birming-
ham Temple in Farmington
Hills constructed a memorial
garden, where ashes are buried
and the names of the deceased
are inscribed on a wall.
"A large percentage of our
members choose cremation as a
way of dealing with death," says
Rabbi Sherwin Wine. "That is
certainly consistent with our be-

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ALL: ItittAit SENIOR WRIER

GOODBYE page 30

Thinking

A unique burial arrangement helps survivors begin
their mourning periods.

JULIE EDGAR SENIOR WRITER

achpelah Cemetery in
Ferndale has seen its
IIM share of firsts during
the last 10 days.
Last Thursday, workers dis-
covered the body of a man who
had committed suicide at his own
gravesite, which is located next
to his deceased wife's grave. She
died two years ago at the age of
41; he was 40. He was buried
next to her on Sunday. A 16-year-
old son is the only survivor.
> A day later, the cemetery
[– buried another man in a 12-foot-
deep grave to accommodate a
place above him for his second
wife's casket when she dies. The
decision, hammered out by at-
torneys, a rabbi, a cantor and the
second wife, came in the wake of
a bitter dispute between the sec-
ond wife and the deceased man's
children, who insisted their fa-
er be buried next to their moth-
er. As it is, the second wife will
be buried above the man, whose
grave is situated to the right of

his first wife's grave.
"That would be a pilot pro-
gram for this cemetery," said
Machpelah managbr Paul Sav-
ille. "We have never done it here
before, but from what I under-
stood last Friday, yes, you [can
stack burials]. In New York and
California it happens a lot."
Machpelah attorney Jerrold
Bigelman worked with the par-
ties and Rabbi Boruch E. Levin
from Hebrew Memorial Chapel
last Thursday afternoon to come
to some decision about the body.
According to a close friend of the
second wife's family, the husband
never indicated in his will that
he wanted to be buried next to
his second wife. However, the
couple, who lived in Florida, had
purchased two side-by-side plots
in a different section of Mach-
pelah during the course of their
marriage. The husband died af-
ter lingering in a coma for near-

THINKING page 31

ose Stein's father never
forgave the U.S. govern-
ment for denying his fain-
y the right to live here.
Unable to settle in the
Mate s because of ilrnigra-
as, the Stein family
a d to Canada from
Polan
Rose who was 5 at
tim
pro up a ' stones throw
them tune,
fro
.
Her father wasn't
a 2i angry when
she married
and
moved to OakPark, but he in-
sisted she keep her Canadian cit.
izenship. After all, he
admonished her, if it weren't for
the beneficence of Canada, they'd
have surely perished in a death
camp.
Today, 49 years after her mar-
riage to Fred, Rose is an Amer-
ican citizen.
"My father lived until he was
94, she quipped, explaining why
it took her so long to take the
oath of allegiance.
Almost two weeks ago, Rose
joined hundreds of others at
Temple Israel in becoming full
citizens of the United States.
The ceremony was the first of

five citizenship cere-
monies to be held by The Jetie
the Detroit Coalition of Aite0
for Responsible Im-
migration Policy, a two-year-old
organization comprised of the
Jewish Community Council, the
Arab Community- Center for
Economic and Social Services
(ACCESS), the Chaldean Fed-
eration of America, Latin Amer-
icans for Social and Economic
Development (T a SED) and the
Association of Chinese Ameri-
cans.
U.S. Sen. Spencer Abraham
(R-Mich.), chairman of the &n-
ate subcommittee on immigra-
tion and refugee affairs, spoke of
his own grandparents' struggles
to make it in America, and he
frankly recounted the battles he
has waged in Washington to
keep the door open to immi-
grants. He had to defend himself
against suggestions that as the
grandson of immigrants, he
couldn't, be an impartial leader
of the subcommittee.
Those are the tenor of the ar-
pm-lents against an open immi-
gration policy, many of which

aisics, an
e oa t
administered by U.S. bistrict
Court Judge Bernard A. Ptied-
man. Lo#d applause and flash-
bulbs gre4ted hit final words.
Afterward, the crowd —
young and old, clad in African
kinte cloth and blue jean:-, suits
and saris — dispersed to Her-
man Hall for punch, coffee and
baked goods from around the

world.
Rose, who was among the

more fortunate -- she was able
to pass her English equivalency
exam without a hitch—greeted
her new status with a 1,000-watt
smile.
"Now l can complain," she
said. "And I'm voting as soon as
I can!" El