PHOTO BY D

L LI PPITT

GOODBYE page 3

Rabbi Sherwin Wine stands in the Birmingham Temple's cremation garden.

lief that the life of a person is not
attached to the material re-
mains; for us, the significance of
a life is not in a body but in
memory ... we believe we are
part of the process of life, which
is attached to nature, so the re-
turn to nature is part of that
process."
Behind one of the four walls
in the garden, "shaded by trees,
bushes and flowers, is the cre-
mation garden. In that garden,
the ashes are placed" but not in
individual places with markers
— because "the ashes merge
with the earth, dust to dust, ash-
es to ashes, and in that way the
cycle of life is completed. We
come from nature; we return to
nature," Rabbi Wine says.

There are three
cycles of mouring.

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Quick burial remains a uni-
versal tenet of all the Jewish
movements.
"Technically a person should
be buried the same day that he
dies," says Rabbi Silberberg. "In
Israel, [mourners] try to bury
the exact same day. Outside of
Israel, it's become more norma-
tive to try to get as many rela-
tives there as possible and
usually bury the next day. [But]
in more observant circles, [the
custom] is still to try to bury the
same day."
In New York, traditional Jews
often hold nighttime funerals,
he says. "In Detroit, because of
the [cemetery] unions, [we] don't
have burials at night.
"According to the teachings of
Kabbalah, when a soul passes
on, we know that there is din,
judgment. The actual judgment
does not take place until burial.
The soul is interested in stand-
ing in judgment, and not wait-
ing, and therefore it's considered
to be a great chesed, an act of
kindness and benevolence to-
ward the soul, to bury the body
as soon as possible," he says.
Jewish law states exactly

how, and for how long, Jews
should mourn.
There are three cycles of
mourning: shiva, the first seven -
days; shloshim, the first 30 days;
and a one-year period.
"During the shiva, one is sup-
posed to be sitting on a lowered
seat; one is not supposed to wear
leather shoes; one doesn't go to
work; and one doesn't leave the
house," Rabbi Silberberg says.
"When a person gives up
some of the conveniences of life,
it's a sign of respect," he ex-
plains. "All too often people are
so immersed in materialism that
they forget ... about their pur-
pose or mission in life. When a
person gives up physical com-
forts, hopefully [he] thinks about
purpose or mission.
"During these seven days,
[mourners] think about the void
because of the loss and how
[they are] going to fill that void."
During the 30-day period,
people are permitted to work,
but they should not wear fresh-
ly pressed garments or cut their
hair, he says.
Rabbi Spectre says, "There's
a lot of sense in everything that
we do in our tradition for the
mourning process. It is a process
of gradation, a gradual return-
ing to life ... the survivor needs
to do this kind of thing."
During the year after a par-
ent dies, the child is "supposed
to abstain from going to any par-
ties, social gatherings; it's a time
to ponder, a time to give up
many of those areas of involve-
ment that distract us from our
mission in life," Rabbi Silberberg
says.
The Talmud, he says, calls the
period of judgment purgatory
and "in a worst-case scenario,
one would not spend more than
12 months in purgatory."
When a parent dies, the child
is supposed to recite the Kad-
dish, "which reduces the judg
ment in the next world. Since
the worst conceivable Jew would
be [in purgatory] for 12 months,
[and] we don't think our parents
are [among] the worst, we say
Kaddish for 11 months."

