The Class
uth Bergman has always led a "very
Jewish" life. Day school, strong rit-
ualistic and spiritual influences at
home, she even met her husband in
a religious context.
So it's no surprise that the reb-
betzin ,of Congregation Beth Abra-
ham Hillel Moses (BAHM) has
emerged in the Detroit Jewish com-
munity as a knowledgeable, dy-
namic teaching powerhouse who not
only recognizes, but celebrates,
women's roles in Judaism.
From the age of 6, Ruth would ask
why her older brother Danny could
make kiddush and she could not. "I
got the booby prize of making motzi,"
the blessing over bread, she recalls.
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Ruth Bergman emphasizes positive Jewish female role
models for daughters Rina, 6, Ariel, 10 months, and Shira, 3.
Rebbetzin, mother, teacher
and wife —Judaism
permeates every facet of
Ruth Bergman's life.
At the time of her bat mitzvah, an
adored great-aunt questioned why
a girl would have a massive cele-
bration. "She thought the whole
thing was ridiculous," says Mrs.
Bergman. "My cousin, her grand-
daughter, had a pizza party."
Still, it wasn't until college that it
occurred to her to question why
women are exempt from certain rit-
uals and prayers, she says.
"The more reading I did, the more
I'd say, Wait a minute. This doesn't
make sense. It doesn't have to be this
way. I'm just as capable, interested
...' and working within Halachah,
there is no reason why women
should be excluded."
Mrs. Bergman majored in liter- men and women aren't important.
ature at Barnard College, the [But] I don't see how biology" has
women's college of Columbia Uni- anything to do with studying Torah.
versity. "A lot of skills I developed in
"By excluding any segment of the
studying Tanach (Bible) helped me Jewish population, we are missing
in lit classes — analyzing text, word out on what that segment has to of-
choice, description, irony, being able fer. When people say, Well, women
to look at multiple viewpoints, learn- don't keep the mitzvahs they already
ing to read the same story from dif- have, why give them more?' The
ferent perspectives."
same is true for men. We don't in-
She chose Barnard for its small- terview men before [giving them]
college atmosphere within the con- aliyahs and ask if they kept Shab-
text of a larger university as well as bos the week before."
for the dynamic life of Manhattan
A solid family structure, with an
— museums, shops, cultural diver- equal partnership and love for Ju-
sity. Professors said "the city is your daism, is critical. to Jewish survival,
campus."
she says. "Judaism is based in the
But the "phenomenal Jewish life" home. Jewish life in America has
and proximity of the Conserva- focused on the synagogue — the
tive movement's Jewish Theo- emphasis really needs to be on the
logical Seminary also factored in. home, home rituals [such as light-
There were Reform, Conserva- ing] Shabbat candles and making
tive and Orthodox minyanim on Purim costumes together."
Friday nights. On Shabbat morn-
Perhaps that perspective comes
ings, students would daven at dif- from Ruth Bergman's own up-
ferent local shuls that needed bringing, in the northern New Jer-
help making a minyan.
sey suburb of Fair Lawn, in a
"I ate at the seminary, used the strongly identifying Conservative
seminary library," celebrated family. She went to synagogue reg-
Simchat Torah and Purim there, ularly, and attended Camp Ramah
Mrs. Bergman says. And JTS and Orthodox Jewish day schools
was the place where she met the (since there was not a Conserva-
young rabbinic student who tive option there).
would become her husband.
The rituals of Shabbat and the
Ruth and Aaron Bergman are holidays drew young Ruth. And so
more than a good fit. They appear did positive Jewish female role
externally as a couple, two pieces models.
of a puzzle. But on the inside,
Her mother taught Judaic stud-
from what they say, it's an even ies, as did her grandmother. When
better fit. .
she came to America, Ruth's grand-
She credits her husband with mother asked her brother-in-law
helping strengthen her feminist to teach her Torah and Haftorah,
Jewish viewpoints. "He was the so she could give bar mitzvah
first guy who wasn't threatened lessons to earn extra money, says
by my knowledge," she says. "I Mrs. Bergman. Still, "she would
wasn't going to play dumb."
never dream of a woman on the
On their first date, the bimah."
Bergmans discussed Talmud and
Mrs. Bergman teaches textual-
Tosafot (talmudic commentators). ly-based adult classes. She leads
"It was just really nice because we seminars in the Eilu v'Eilu series
were modern, but religious."
spearheaded by BAHM, B'nai
In Aaron Bergman, she saw that Moshe and Hillel Day School, a
Judaism "was not just his job, it was Rosh Chodesh study series and -
his life. Me, too."
Thursday morning classes at B'nai
The Bergmans, who married in Moshe. The intent is for serious
1988, are fully observant. They live study at any level, she says.
in a house behind the synagogue and
"I think it's hard for a rabbi to
eat only in all-vegetarian or strict- get up and talk about Shabbos and
ly kosher restaurants. It's their open kashrut if the home is not [fully
views on women that some might practicing]. Being a rabbi isn't like
say put them in a more modern being an accountant — you don't
camp.
do it 9-to-5 and go home and for-
"I guess my view is that in a per- get about it. You're living a Jew-
fect world, gender wouldn't matter," ish life, your family is involved in
Mrs. Bergman says. "I don't mean that. You can't really separate the
to say that the differences between two." ❑