ii I N Guy's Eye View with personalized' fitness Stop stressing about being single — worry about what you can actually change. (248) 848-9710 MATT MOSSMAN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS M yself, my friends, my generation — we're not so thrilled with life, and we can't figure out why. What's worse, we know we have no right to be whining. We're young, intelligent and, for the. most part, doing well since we left college. We're teachers, writers, lawyers, can- didates for middle management. We're making some real money for the first time, we're driving nice cars and we're buying nicer clothes. . Why are we whining? We spend a lot of time won- dering if we'll move up that ca- reer ladder, and if the one we're on is the right one: We need to know we're not part of that ugly statistic that says we'll be the first generation worse off than our parents. We're also getting a little con- cerned about how hard we're working: Isn't there going to be any time for fun? Can we still road trip on weekends? We know we're getting closer to married life, when all that fun stops. Speaking of marriage, we've all got a few friends who are there already. A good friend of mine is going in August, and, frankly, I'm shaken. I still go by that late '80s wisdom of waiting until you're at least 30. So there's a lot to think about for us twentysomethings. Home for the holidays recently, I sat down for coffee with a close friend, Marc, to figure out why we're not satisfied. Our careers are going smooth- ly so far, although it would be nice to get rid of those pesky stu- dent loans we're burdened with. We're healthy, and so are our families. We've done a good job not growing up too fast — or as Wayne and Garth would say, "We still know how to party." We agreed that we have no right to be so skeptical about life's long- term prospects. Then it hit us: The idea of marriage, girlfriends and women in general is making us crazy. It's not their fault, we know women aren't trying to bring us misery (we hope). We just think they're naturally good at it, even when they're not trying. We're also willing to consider the pos- sibility that we might be driving them crazy, too. We thought some more. After a quick check, we discovered that Matt Mossman, a Windsor, Ont., native, will be contributing a column on a regular basis. most of our friends agonize about either getting married or getting sex. And even when they're get- ting sex, they're still not happy about it. So here's what we think we non-slacker Generation X types need to do: Stop thinking about relationships. Don't give hook- ing up any thought whatsoever. We think there's more to think about. Our theory is that if you let relationships dominate your life — and your life's goals — you'll go from single and anxious to married and restless. Our friend Mike's found his girl. Before he found her, he was all wound up about it. Now he's got nothing left to worry about. He spent so much time finding a wife he's got nothing left to do. In fact, he's ready to retire. I'm going to stop thinking so much about women and rela- tionships. As a matter of fact, I'm going to think about everything else there is to think about. I'm going to start mentally planning all the things I need to do before I'm 30. I need to make the Super Bowl, Mardi Gras and I must cover a war before I have kids. I'll also need to spend some time out West, skiing until I break my legs; and I'm sure there's a band out there that could use a road- ie for a while. I'm going to drive until I hit the Arctic Ocean, then turn around until I hit the Pana- ma Canal. I'm going to eat a hot dog in every major league ballpark, and get paid to write a story about it. If I can do that, life can't possi- bly suck. So Marc and I sat that Sun- day afternoon, drinking refill af- ter refill, figuring things out. (The waiter charged us for each cup, ruining that peaceful con- tentment you feel when think you've accomplished something.) And Marc forgot about his nutty girlfriend, and I forgot about how being single really can be awful. I remembered that I think being single is a blessing — when I'm not. The lesson we taught our- selves, not matter how cliche, is this: The grass really is always greener on the other side — it's not an illusion — so there's no point in getting anxious about hooking up. Spend your mental energy thinking big. Sometimes you follow through, sometimes you don't. But at least you'll be worrying about something you can fix. 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