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He was the kind of person who hugged you in the middle of the night after you woke from a nightmare. THEIE wisH lmn' NM 'S is looking for great and memories of you and be mailed o upcoming , yourdadforour rfaxed Pte se Father's Day issue. Writtensubmissions should typed and double-spaced and limit to one page. Photos may be black and white or color, but must be dear. Please indude a self-addressed stamped envelope if you would like your photo returned. Send to: - Dear Ole 1 Dad • Tbe eu ish News • 27676 Franklin Road • Sosabfulf4 MI 48034 Fax (810)354-6069 Submissions will be acs-qa ed through May 21. NO PHONE CALLS 855•BRIS (2747) Howitra m i THE DETR OIT J E WI SH NE WS Certified Mohel 54 baby and Me Children's • Layette 6718-C Orchard Lake Road In The W. Bloomfield Plaza • 855-3214 • BLOOM and BLOOM • • Registered Eledrologists • By Appointment Only — Ask For Debby Near 12 Mile Road between Evergreen and Southfield 810-559-1969 INSTANT PHOTOGRAPHY SPECIALIST • Polaroids • 35 MM Portraits • Memory Books PHOTOS BY GILSO 810-661-5415 MATTHEW ALEXANDER SCHER Office: (810) 851 5100 - CLASSIFIED GET RESULTS! Call The Jewish News 354-5959 _You can flirt, talk, avoid other singles in cyberspace but watch out when your parents sign on. I t's a good thing my parents are choreography: the art of moving married. Because if they were the elbow in the same direction just now getting together, in that she wants the little arrow to this age of making dates by e- travel on the big screen. mail, my mom and dad would be I can't be totally critical, how- doomed. ever, as she has used my four Or at least, they would be ex- pages of painstakingly hand- traordinarily challenged, and I written directions — starting with would be extremely tormented. turn computer on — to log onto Oh, wait, I guess I wouldn't ac- her Internet provider and send e- tually be here ... But being that I mail. am — here, that is — I can vouch Of course, she sometimes for- for the stress their recent discov- gets the part about sending her ery of the computer is causing me. messages and then wonders why Since my mother went online they are never received. I tried an historic analogy: the three weeks ago, she's been call- ing me long distance about four U.S. Postal System. I told her it's times a day. Odd, you like a letter. You write might say, since being it and address it and when you slip it into online would allow her to contact me for free. But the blue mailbox, it's as it turns out, each of gone. She liked tha t a her electronic transmis- lot. sions involves at least So amazed was my mother when she fi- two verbal explanations. Like the time she nally got to the point called me, frantic be- of sending e-mail, she had to phone everyone cause she couldn't get the she wrote, just to computer to go offline. ALLISO N KAPLAN "It's off Mom," I told her, make sure they got SPECI AL TO THE only to receive a barrage her messages. - JEWIS H NEWS of objections. "Mother," I When I sent a note exclaimed, "if the com- to one of my mom's puter was online, you wouldn't be friends, she actually called my talking to me on the phone!" mom to tell her how cute my note Oh yeah, she says, giggle, gig- was and to have my mom pass gle. along her thanks. They haven't Meanwhile, my dad, who is not quite grasped the whole aspect of exactly in a position to help her, simply hitting reply. just stands behind my mom, mut- Personally, e-mail has done tering, "She's obsessed, she's ob- wonders for my social life — par- sessed." ticularly in the area of avoidance. It's hard to imagine that my Now, instead of calling those peo- parents truly don't understand ple I don't really want to talk to how to cut and paste. Or even and praying for their answering move the arrow back three words machines, I can just send notes to delete one, without erasing without any fear of interaction. everything in its path. And when I can't think of any- And I'm not exactly a big com- thing to write, there are chain let- puter expert. As one who attend- ters and jokes. Annoying and ed high school in the days when corny as they are, those corre- those archaic Apple computers spondences serve the very im- with black screens and green type portant purpose of saying, "I'm were fancy technology, I've man- thinking about you, even if we do aged to learn only what I ab- have absolutely nothing worth- solutely need to know. When I get while to exchange." an error message, I call one of my But, e-mail has completely rev- computer analyst friends. (A olutionized flirting. Rather than group of people I would definitely those uncomfortable first dates, recommend getting to know.) you spend a few weeks exchang- But there's a difference. My ing cute e-mails several times a dad, so proud that he uses inter- day and boom, you're old friends. nal e-mail at work, was telling me My mother doesn't get most of how he accidentally gave himself this, but she really is trying. She some type of password even he even e-mailed the financial office can't crack, so he just hasn't col- at my brother's school, rather lected his messages for the last than make the long-distance call. several weeks. Boy, was that a proud moment — As for my mother, I spent an the first occasion she could attach hour demonstrating computer purpose to her now-frequent e- mailing. Allison Kaplan is a columnist for We discussed it by phone, dur- the Chicago Jewish Star who contributes on a regular basis to ing the higher afternoon rates, for about an hour. E The Scene.