The Palk qki Ready Marlyn, THE DETR OIT J EWISH NEWS 4, 52 ou never know when Jewish tribal instincts will kick in. . Take Joel, a 38-year-old lawyer in Los Angeles (he asked that his real name not be used). "I almost married some- one non-Jewish 10 years ago," he said. "But when I brought home a challah and she said, 'What a lovely brioche,' man, was I in the wrong place." He speaks slowly, vulnerably. He describes himself as "a very committed Jew" who'd "love to be married." He has a clear picture of what he wants, and he's willing to wait for a woman with "a good heart, a caring person, easygoing, warm, moderately religious." Has he gone to any Jewish singles events? "Frankly, those things scare me," he says. Successful, sensitive, definitely Jewish, Joel's the kind of guy every Jewish mother and her daughter — not to mention the legions of Jewish matchmakers, Jewish singles events organizers and Jewish singles net- works — would love to get their hands on. Ever since the Council of Jewish Federations' 1990 National Jewish Population Survey found that 52 SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS percent ofJews married in the pre- vious five years had married non- Jews, connecting people like Joel with a Jewish mate has become a Jewish ob- session. Amy Stone is a journalist living in San Francisco. • • • OP Only 9 percent ofJews who married be- fore 1965 married non-Jews. Now synagogues, national Jewish organi- zations, local Jewish federations and commu- nity centers, which have been bypassed by many American Jews, are determined to focus their organizational know-how on the mighty task of getting Jewish singles together — to marry and produce more Jews. But they are not entering an empty field. The back pages of most local Jewish newspa- pers have long been filled with personals — all the over-achieving, good-looking, financially successful fans of dining out, dancing and tak- ing long walks in the woods, looking for their beshert. Cheek to jowl with personals come ads for matchmakers. From the pages of New York's Jewish Week: "There's a time in every man's life when he realizes he's ready for commit- ment. Don't let those five minutes go to waste." (An advertisement for Blumberg Introduc- tions.) Marketers are zeroing in on Jewish singles at their most vulnerable. Christmas Eve has become a night in some cities when Jewish event planners throw the bash of the year to bring together Jewish singles with nothing to do and nowhere open to go. Up until 1996, the Jewish Community Cen- ter at Maple-Drake annually hosted a Dec. 24 IMO singles party, and December days in Manhat- tan lead up to Utopia Events' X-mas Eve Ball with four deejays, a live trapeze act; cigar bar, jazz club, sports bar and dancing. Washington, D.C., also plans an annual "Matzah Ball" where a few permanent matches have been made. Some of the establishment's attempts to get Jews to marry within the fold are guilelessly straightforward. Conservative Judaism's Singles Commis- sion has come out with the concept of magnet synagogues. Like iron filings to a horse-shaped magnet, Jewish singles searching for their beshert — preordained mate — will likely be attracted to singles programming at major Con- servative synagogues in major Jewish popu- lation centers. These are the same places that until recently showed-interest in twenty- or thirtysomethings only after they married, had children and be- came active in a synagogue. Now they're scram- bling to address the fact that Jews are marrying later — and some not at all. A $5 manual for synagogues and communi- ty centers, published last year by the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, includes step-by-step guidance for starting congrega- tional and regional singles programs. The idea is to "offer the singles a Jewish alternative to the anonymous, unsatisfying, un-Jewish and completely unspiritual 'singles scene.' " .141107.,