Community Views Editor's Notebook We Have Met The Enemy, And They Are Us A Personal Experience In Network Marketing BERL FALBAUM SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS PHIL JACOBS EDITOR At times it seems, sults from the fact they're per- as a people, we verts, and they just have to accept have no limits for that fact — and create dialogues. enduring humili- We are probably the only mi- nority group which has never un- ation. Throughout derstood that bigots need to be our history, we held accountable. Nor have we have been reluc- understood that the only effective tant to stand up method is unrelenting and un- for ourselves, to compromising political and pub- confront anti-Semitism as we lic pressure. NJCRC speakers and some of should, confront it as blacks have its officers should quit worrying learned to confront racism. In the face of this unfortunate about "what they'll think of us" history come officials of Jewish and worry more about how to community relations councils think of themselves as Jews. Alan Dershowitz, whatever the telling Jewish university students not only that they should not shortcomings of his book Chutz- protest against anti-Semitism but pah — and there are many — de- need to understand its roots. scribed the failure of Jews in What are those roots? combatting anti-Semitism. Jews "Jews are pushy and aggres- helped make the book a best-sell- sive. Blacks can be put off by er, they paid Dershowitz thou- Jews' maniacal desire for upward sands in honorariums for mobility which can lead to being speaking engagements, and, in opportunistic." These Jewish corn- the end, they ignored his advice. ity. Our efforts would be counter- productive." Well, the results are in, and they are not very reas- suring. When a black Pontiac attorney had the courage to defend Jews at a banquet attended primarily by blacks, black civil rights lead- ers considered allies by the Jew- ish community condemned him with anger and bitterness. With friends like these ... If we want to continue to build coalitions, they can only be suc- cessful if they rest on the follow- ing foundation: Each member pledges to condemn bigotry wher- ever it comes from. If Jewish community relations organizations want to "reach out," they need to make sure there are hands coming at them from the other side of the table. None of this suggests that we should not continue our work on behalf of other minorities. We munity relations professionals ap- parently forgot to add that we control the media and interna- tional banks. So now we have it: We don't seem to understand that we're to blame for being hated. What a perversion of dignity, self-respect, history, tradition and respect for human values and re- lationships. What a self-defeat- ing message to deliver to young people, giving credibility to the lie. No matter how much they hate you, Jewish leaders told students at a National Jewish Communi- ty Relations Council (NJCRC) plenum, turn the other cheek; no, indeed, turn your entire soul. Can anyone imagine Dr. Mar- tin Luther King Jr. and other civ- il rights leaders telling their own not to picket or protest — just smile and build coalitions. Who can believe that gay ac- tivists would tell their own that discrimination against them re- Bed Falbaum is a public-relations have an enviable history in fight- ing for human rights, and we should continue to do what's right. But we need to be forceful in letting our "partners" know that we will not tolerate any equivo- cation on their part when we are attacked. And we don't even need to in- vent strategies or tactics. These exist. All we need to do is emulate the policies of the black commu- nity — the very ones we helped develop for blacks, the ones we have participated in. For example, picket lines at music outlets to protest Michael Jackson's CD that contains the words "don't kike me" would be a wonderful sight and enhance the Jewish people. It would state clearly that we will not tolerate denigration, and it would tell young people that Jews value their self-worth. That's the mes- sage to take to Jewish students on university campuses. If we were to be more forceful on our own behalf, we might be- gin with a picket line at NJCRC headquarters. 0 specialist and a freelance writer. Instead, we continually hear the worn-out refrain that we need to build "bridges of understanding" and "coalitions." One does not build coalitions to negotiate for respect and tol- erance. One does not compromise one's self-worth. One does not grovel, beg or plead for respect and human dignity. One de- mands it. Our coalitions with the black community have not only been useless, but anti-Semitism has become more mainstream. Those that doubt this might ask to ap- pear on a black talk-radio show and discuss any subject relating to Jewish-black relations. With- in minutes, the station will be swamped with callers spewing hatred. We are partly to blame for this tragic development because we did not confront the Rev. Louis Farrakhan when he first launched his anti-Jewish diatribe. Jewish leaders rested their case of inaction on tired, hack- neyed concepts: "He will go away. We'll only give him more public- I said goodbye to Amway 11 years ago, after involvement in the business during the ear- ly 1980s. So I am gratified to read Senior Writer Julie Edgar's Close-Up story this week on Page 60 to learn of the success of Jews in Amway. I write that I said "goodbye." The truth is, Amway is still probably very much a part of me. I learned how to speak in public, how to think more posi- tively and how to overcome ob- stacles, largely due to my Amway experience. To this day, my family still uses Amway products, which we feel are among the finest of their type. In an indirect way, I can "thank" Amway for something else as well: my Jewishness. When I was in Amway, fun- damentalist Christian rhetoric was something you'd find at business meetings, in the com- pany's literature and on their audio tapes. It wasn't unusual for a Bible study to take place after meetings or for a candle- light ceremony, complete with testimony about how Amway led this distributor or that per- son to Jesus. A man on an audio tape once referred glibly to Jews, the people who "wear those `Hanukkahs' on their heads." He meant yarmulkes. There was an audio tape with a man saying that if you don't believe in Jesus, then you believe in the "wrong" religion. I was often told by the people above me (known as your spon- sor, your upline) to think of the business as a smorgasbord, tak- ing from the table what you want and leaving the rest. When the smorgasbord of- fered an insatiable, almost cult- like feeling of wanting to be with the successful, charismatic lead- ers in one's upline, then it be- came tougher to ignore. For me, Amway became more than net- work marketing or products; it became a path of edification and unconditional faith that simply went too far. But let's make one thing clear: The Amway Corp., based in Ada, Mich., can't control everything that is said or done by its millions of distributors. Amway's founders, Rich De- Vos and Jay Van Andel, once wrote a poignant editorial in their monthly magazine, the AMAGRAM, saying that Amway was not a soapbox to climb on for speeches of a reli- gious or political nature. That anyone from any background was welcome and encouraged. I find that absolutely true. Still, I must say that the first time I ever heard the words "completed Jew," they came from someone in my upline. He was Jewish and an Israeli. At a late-night gathering at a restau- rant over coffee and ice cream, he talked of how Jesus was the ultimate 'Diamond" in our lives. To accept Jesus set us on a road toward financial freedom. The other distributors holding court nodded in admiring agreement. I was the only Jew among them. When I called this man and told him I was offended, I was met with the response that I should be more "open-minded." Telling my sponsors, both Chris- tians, resulted in retorts not to let my business be held up by something like this. In other words, ignore it. It came up again, though. This time another successful distributor who had sponsored the Israeli man invited my wife and me to a Friday night Shab- bat dinner and then services at his synagogue. We were so hon- ored. This couple were on audio tape; they were giving speeches all over the country. They want- ed dinner with us? They want- ed to attend synagogue with us? Like puppy dogs wagging our tails, we went. We were nervous and excited to be with this cou- ple. We had a lovely Shabbat dinner. Then we got in the car to drive to shul. I asked my host where we were headed. Was it a Reform temple, or a Conserv- ative or Reconstructionist one? He wouldn't tell me. He said for me to wait and see. We ended up at a church. No problem, I thought. Many con- gregations unable to afford their own buildings worship in churches. There was a problem, though. I knew it when I saw the Israeli distributor walk in the sanctuary. This was a Mes- sianic Jewish congregation. These were Jews and Christians saying the Sh'ma with Jesus in mind. I asked to go home. My wife cried. We had to stay until the end, the distributor said. We were quiet and sad in the car. Our upline turned around, looked at us and said that "all we had to do to accept Jesus" was repeat a line he'd give us. We said no. This man was to help us grow as Amway distributors? When I look in the mirror, I see the guy who quit. I could have done so many things to work the business harder and smarter. Nobody is to blame for my lack of business success. Not Amway, not the Messianic PERSONAL EXPERIENCE page 30 ti 0-) Cr) -J CC 29