PHOTO BY D. STEVENS/NEW LINE CINEMA

'Inventing The Abbotts'

Doug Holt and Pam Abbott try
Rated R
hard to rise above the pettiness
very once in a while, a of their siblings and find hap-
movie comes along and
other.
proves that, oftentimes, how piness with each
(Stealing Beauty,
Liv
Tyler
a story is told is much more That Thing You Do!) and espe-
important that the story itself. cially Joaquin Phoenix, who
Inventing the Abbotts is one of was also outstanding in To Die
those movies. We've seen ele-
give heartbreakingly hon-
ments of its story before — in For,
est performances. Billy Crudup
Rebel Without a Cause, Splen- (Everyone Says I Love You) as
dor in the Grass and Romeo Jacey also shines, exuding an
and Juliet — yet Invent-
intensity and hurt that
ing the Abbotts achieves
imbues his character,
MOVIES
a sense of cinematic in-
despite his cruelty,
dividuality for one very
with a measure of hu-
simple reason: It's well done.
manity.
Set in a small Midwestern
As the Holt boys' long-suf-
town in the late 1950s, the 'sto- fering mother, Emmy Award-
ry centers on two working-class winning actress Kathy Baker
brothers, Doug Holt (Joaquin ("Picket Fences") stands out.
Phoenix) and the older Jacey She gives her character a
(Billy Crudup), both deeply fas- quirky believability and
cinated with the three wealthy strength, endearing us to her
Abbott girls. As the youngest as her character struggles with
sister Pamela (Liv Tyler) ex- loneliness and the challenges
plains to Doug, "Alice (Joanna

E

Natalie Desselle and Halle Berry star in B.A.P.S.

Once inside, the girls encounter butlers and
bidets and other objects of excess, prompting bug
atching B.AP.S.one can hardly believe
eyes and dropped jaws, but little in the way of in-
that director Robert Townsend once made spired comedy.
a decent comedy. Nearly 10 years ago, the
For the rest of the film, plot lines are picked
unheralded actor debuted as a writer and up and dropped like hot potatoes as the girls
director with the low-budget hit Hollywood Shut. shake and shimmy with Mr. Blakemore, filling
fle, and was immediately hailed as an up-and- his final days with heapings of soul food and soul
corner along the lines of Spike Lee. In the ensuing
train until he dies, leaving his fortune to
decade, Townsend did little to embellish
them.
his resume, bombing only slightly less
MOVIES
At best, B.A.P.S. is a lamebrain at-
frequently than Ted Kaczynski. This new
tempt at a fish-out-of-water fairy tale, com-
film should hasten Townsend's return to
bining the dumbest elements of Pretty Woman
unemployment.
and "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air"; at worst, the
The ill-conceived tale follows two dopey wait- film is a harsh statement of the motives and mo-
resses, Nisi (Halle Berry) and Mickey (Natalie tivations of African-Americans and women.
Desselle), saddled with deferred dreams and
Had the film been directed by a white director,
deadbeat boyfriends in Decatur,. Ga. Not exact- it would be reviled as audaciously racist; that it
ly visionaries, they aspire to open the world's first was made by a black director is only ponderous.
restaurant/hair salon and the only thing stand- Is he really saying that the key to success is not
ing in their way is a lack of money and know-how. through hard work but by being nice to rich, old
Nisi thinks she's solved the money part, believ-
men?
ing that she can win a $10,000 dance contest to white
Oh, and, by the way, "BAP.S." stands for Black
appear in rapper Heavy D's next video. Using American Princesses.
their meager savings, the pair head off to L.A.
for the contest, sporting gold teeth and hairstyles
1/2 4.
that would frighten Picasso. Unfortunately, Nisi's
— Richard Halprin
dancing looks like someone trying to put out a
cr) fire, and she is summarily dismissed from the
competition.
LU
z
As contrived luck would have it, the ladies are
m
u, immediately recruited by a smiling schemer
named Isaac, who convinces them to stay at the
Outstanding
Lu opulent manor of his rich uncle Mr. Blakemore
I _ (Martin Landau).
o Isaac explains that his uncle has only two weeks
Very Good
cA
cc to live, and to make his passing days brighter, he
1–
Lu needs Nisi to pretend to be the granddaughter of
Good
C)
his uncle's one true love, a black servant from his
U-I
= youth, whom his parents forbade him to marry.
Fair

Rated PG-13

-

Bagel Barometer
toct)zi—®,

,_

90

Richard Haiprin is a sometimes attorney and

frequent moviegoer.

No Bagels

Awful

Billy Crudup, Liv Tyler and Joaquin Phoenix in Inventing the Abbotts.

Going) is the good one, Eleanor
(Jennifer Connelly) is the bad
one, and I'm the one who gets
off the hook."
Jacey thinks he's in love with
Eleanor and is obsessed with
getting his share of all that the
Abbotts have. Believing that all
of his family's misfortunes, from
his father's death to his moth-
er's lack of friends, are the di-
rect fault of the Abbott family,
Jacey in not above using his
charm and good looks to get
him into this family he both en-
vies and despises.
Inventing the Abbotts is a
dark and sad story about inse-
curity, mistrust, anger and
hurt. But it also is a richly
sweet love story as the guileless

Liz Lent is an avid moviegoer.

of raising two boys on her own.
Inventing the Abbotts rises
above the hackneyed nature of
its story, providing audiences
with a moving look at love, envy
and the self-destructive side of
adolescence. Based on a short
story by Sue Miler (The Good
Mother) and the work of Irish
director Pat O'Connor (Circle of
Friends), it's an intelligent
movie, one which rewards its
audience with a lovely ending
and a wealth of characters who
stay with you long after you
leave the theater.

ci.t) Zuk-4,00

— Liz Lent