Community Views Editor's Notebook Getting Down To 'Jewish' Basics By 'Hanging Out,' We Might Become Friends STACIE FINE SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS PHIL JACOBS EDITOR My class is on the final leg of the rabbinics portion of our seminary training this year. We are wrestling with contemporary thinkers' concep- tions of Judaism, Jewish history and culture. Many of the writers seem to try to boil things down to "the essence of Judaism. They make sweep- ing proclamations about the "mar and "true" essence of what Ju- daism is. Of course, they don't agree on the answers, but they often seem to agree that there is a single, definable, core essence of Ju- daism. So, since my doctoral dis- sertation is due some 18 months hence, I'd darn well better get working on cap- turing that essence myself;— no? I have recently finished teaching two classes at the local college in my adopted home town of Traverse City: one on con- temporary spiri- tuality and the other on the philosophical im- plications of the Holocaust, with particular refer- ence to how the lessons of history can be applied in a homogenous com- munity like Traverse City. Over and over again in these seemingly unrelated activities, I reach the same two-word conclu- sion about the essence of both courses: Be nice. Yes, "be nice." I don't want to sound like Nancy Reagan and her insultingly sim- plistic "just say no" line over which we roared with indignant liberal laughter. But for me, the paths keep converging on a sim- ple truth: Be nice. In March, I conducted my sec- ond freelance Shabbat service in Traverse City on the theme of "Jews and Christians: Building Bridges and Healing our Histo- ries." How can we heal our histo- ries? By studying what has united and divided our cultures, by learning some of the lessons our cultures share. And what is one of those Stacie Fine is community development director for the Society for. Humanistic Judaism. lessons? (Please say this with me.) Be nice. Every Monday evening for al- most two years, I have been of- fering a women's spirituality gathering. We wrestle with the essential truths about our exis- tence, with pain, with creativity, with living a spiritual life. The conclusion we reach over and over again: Be nice and find other nice, like-minded people to be nice to and with. A pattern is emerging. Jews, in the words of Hillel; say, "What is hurtful to yourself do not do to others. That is the whole of the Torah. All the rest is commentary, now go and learn it." Christians say, "Do unto oth- ers as you would have them do unto you." In Islam, the saying goes, "Do unto all people as you wish to have done unto you, and reject for others what you would reject for yourselves." In Bud- dhism: "Hurt not others with that which pains yourself." In Confucianism: "Is there one principle upon which one's whole life may proceed?" The Master replied, "Is not reciprocity such a principle? What you do not your- self desire, do not put before oth- ers." And in Hinduism: "This is the sum of all true righteousness: Treat others as thou wouldst thy- self be treated. Do nothing to thy neighbor which hereafter thou wouldst not have thy neighbor do to thee." So this simple truth, which if we could slow ourselves down enough could really guide our actions, is shared by most of the world's major traditions. Jews don't own it exclusively, so can that be our essence? Can our essential ethical principle be something that is not uniquely or exclusively Jewish? Embrac- ing Jewish culture is in part about celebrating what makes us unique: our history and cul- ture. But a mature Jewish spiritu- ality also embraces the idea that the "Be Nice" commandment is not ours alone and (despite what I was taught in Hebrew school) we did not invent it. We share this great and simple ethical truth with many other peoples, and while it has found beautiful expression in our culture, this es- sential truth of Judaism is one that links us inextricably with most of the other traditions of the world we share. I be- ' lieve that this makes it even more beautiful. The fact that we do not have exclu- sive rights to this truth means that our dignity and worth as a people are bound up with the dignity and worth of all people, which can best be promoted through the simple strategy of learning to culti- vate a place in our- selves where we are thoughtful and kind. So what is the essence of Judaism? The essence is that we are a unique cul- ture with a rich and varied history and that we are part of the human family, sharing in truths and foibles like all peoples. When I reflect on the world and the areas where I can have an impact on healing it, it boils down not to some lofty action strategies, far-out spiritual tech- niques or esoteric practices but simply this: to be awake and aware enough to remember to be a little extra-nice, to do a decent deed, to give up a parking space, to let someone into traffic, to lis- ten a little more carefully to-my family, to go out of my way every now and again to make some- one's moment a little nicer in some way. Many of us on the spiritual path like to mask this simplici- ty with practices and procedures, meetings and meditations. These tools are important and useful but they are all simple signposts to an essential human truth: that we have the capacity to cul- tivate menschlichkeit (humane- ness, decency) and sharing this is the essence of all gdodness, no matter what our culture. ❑ a group of our neighbors got together to make shalach manot as part of The Neighbor- hood Project and JEFF's wonderful Purim Parcel Project. The event was held at the Jimmy Prentis Morris Building of the JCC. It was a joint effort spurred largely by members of three Oak Park congregations: Young Israel of Oak Park, Temple Emanu-El and Congregation Beth Shalom. Families donated kosher can- dy, raisins, peanuts and other items for the parcels. Children and adults decorated squares of muslin fabric with markers, paint and stencils. Then the parcels were tied together with curling ribbon. The shalach manot were distributed last Sunday to Jewish people who might otherwise go without the mitzvah. It was by everyone's estima- tion a wonderful day. How could it be anything but win-win? Let's talk about the day over the next few paragraphs. Then I need to tell you, I'm sick and tired. You'll see why. "When looking around the room I knew many of the incli- vithisls and recognized many of the faces," said Beth Shalom's Sharona Shapiro, who helped coordinate the effort along with Beth Applebaum of Temple Emanu-El and Esther Sherizen of Young Israel of Oak Park. "It didn't matter if they were affil- iated with Orthodox or Reform or Conservative [synagogues], . they were families I knew or vol- unteers I've come in contact with. We were made to feel very comfortable, and we were there for a common purpose. We didn't get into ideological or the- ological discussion. We were do- ing something with our children for others." For Ms. Applebaum, the Purim Parcel Project was a huge success for all the right reasons. "It didn't really matter where you came from," she said. "Everyone was there to make parcels and to help someone less fortunate. Nobody asked any- one else where he or she came from. It wasn't that important. What was important was that we were getting along. You started talking to the person next to you. I think the success of this activity should lead to more joint activities. I can't imagine we wouldn't do this sort of thing again." Esther Sherizen of Young Is- rael of Oak Park agreed. Recently, "It was very exciting to be a part of an event like that, watch- ing people from different syna- gogues working together," said Mrs. Sherizen. "I think people are generally curious about what people do in other syna- gogues. This gave us an oppor- tunity to meet each other in a nonthreatening kind of way. Do- ing something like this togeth- er was something very special. I learned a lot from Beth and Sharona. When we said good- bye, we said we hoped to do something else together." Now, why am I sick and tired? With quotes like these, what's to be sad about? Because when Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Jews get together for something positive, it be- comes front-page news. In last week's Jewish News, we read of how Shir Tikvah's Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg was part of a contingent of 50 Re- form rabbis from all over the country who were shunned at the Wall in Jerusalem by Hare- di, or Orthodox Jews. Sunday, following a speech I delivered for the Jewish Com- munity Council, a friend, who happens to be Conservative, told me that the issue of pluralism in Israel will take center stage within the next couple of years. If you are Reform or Conserva- tive and you look to Israel as your "homeland," there's a chance you could be feeling like a second-class citizen these days, and those feelings could inten- sify in the coming years. But it goes both ways. There are plenty of our Re- form and Conservative friends whose misconceptions and stereotypes about the Orthodox are nothing short of bigotry. My goodness, how many dif- ferent versions of this same theme do I find myself writing? Enough already. We are Jews. Whether or not you affiliate yourself at all in any denomination or you are pray- ing three times a day, nobody is better than anyone else. And this fighting, this name calling, this rabid rejection has got to come to an end. If it doesn't, we don't need any more Hitlers. Because we'll find the destruction of our own peo- ple at the other end of the mir- ror. Jews have figurative coronary arrest every time they read about a Louis Farrakhan or a David Duke in the news. We have national organizations that fund-raise millions of dollars and come out with all sorts of mission statements about blacks and Jews and Arabs and Jews and anti-Semitism. Yet, we can't FRIENDS page 33