The Scene

The Price is Right

Etiquette experts
and gift-buyers
agree and disagree
on how much to
spend and what to
give for shower
and wedding gifts.

MEGAN SWOYER
SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

00

veryone should have
a friend like Lori
Weiss.
When it comes to
showers and wed-
dings, Ms. Weiss of
Southfield gives gifts
that come straight
from her heart, re-
gardless of the price
tag. "Money isn't an
issue," says the exec-
utive producer at
TV62/CBS in Detroit.
"I buy what I'd like
the person to have," adds the 37-
year-old.
For the most part, Miss Man-
ners, a.k.a. Judith Martin, would
approve of Ms. Weiss' gift-buying
philosophy. The etiquette mavin,
who's the author of the national-
ly syndicated column "Miss Man-
ners" and a half-dozen books on
formalities, writes in her book
Megan Swoyer is editorial
consultant for Style magazine.

Miss Manners' Guide to Excruci-
atingly Correct Behavior that one
should never give anything be-
low one's own taste level. In oth-
er words, don't give something
you wouldn't want, but suppose
it's good enough for others.
Ms. Manners also recom-
mends that a gift giver never
overwhelm someone by giving
them something so valuable as
to be inappropriate to the rela-
tionship. For example, it would
be improper for a neighbor to
wrap up two tickets to Paris.
Aunt Emilie, sure ... but not
Dave, the guy you chat with
about snow shoveling and dan-
delion problems.
Shaindle Braunstein has been
on the receiving end of both types
of wedding presents — the over-
whelming and the cheap. "We got
$350 from the parents of one of
my bridesmaids. We were as-
tounded," says the 23-year-old
Oak Park resident. She and her

husband, Charles Goldgrab, also Southfield. "What's really bad is
received a $5 picture frame from that it was recycled!" says the 33-
her boss, for whom she is no year-old. "We could tell because
longer working.
there was no tag and it wasn't in
"What disturbed us [about the pristine condition," he adds.
picture frame] was that he was
So what's the correct price
someone who had the means to range for shower and wedding
give us more than a $5
gifts? A survey of area
gift," recalls Ms.
celebrants reveals that
Shaindle B raunstein there are no hard and
Braunstein.
and the d etested
Note: Had Ms.
fast rules when it comes
picture frame.
Braunstein opened the
to gift prices, only that
$5 picture frame in
you give one and it's in
front of her boss, she might have good taste.
followed Miss Manners' advice
Ms. Braunstein normally ad-
on what to do when you don't like heres to her own gift-giving cus-
a gift that you receive. "Fake the toms. She spends $50 on close
reaction. The ability to look de- friends or family members for
lighted when not — now that is shower gifts and from $20 to $30
truly a gift."
for those who aren't close friends.
That's what Mark Freedman When it comes to weddings, she
and his fiancee had to do when spends $100 — usually in the
they received a fish platter as a form of cash — on close friends
shower gift. "It was heinous, a and about $50 for those who aren't
china fish with a jade eye," recalls so dose. And she never follows the
Mr. Freedman, president of Pro- bride and groom's registry. "I al-
gressive Development, Inc. in THE PRICE page 63