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3017 N. WOODWARD
visA ROYAL OAK
kips. Ca,:
(3 Blocks South of 13 Mile)
(just have your rabbi look it
over before the wedding) into
which you will add your names,
or you can hire a calligrapher to
write and design one just for you.
The main purpose of the ke-
tubah is to protect a woman. In
ancient times, Jewish men
were permitted to divorce their
wives without their consent.
Fortunately, this changed
thanks to Rabbenu Gershom of
Mayyence (960-1028). A lead.-
ing German Jewish legal au-
thority, Rabbenu Gershom
instituted a number of sub-
stantial halachic rulings, in-
cluding one that determined
that a man may not divorce a
wife against her will.
The ketubah, written in Ara-
•-•
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Q: My sweetheart and I are plan-
ning to wed next year, and we're in-
terested in securing a ketubah. I'm
embarrassed to say, though, that I
don't really know what's on it. Are
my future husband and I supposed
to write it ourselves? What should
it say? When does it have to be
ready? Isn't it basically just a doc-
ument listing the names of those
about to get married and their fam-
ilies?
A: A ketubah has nothing to
do with genealogy. It is, in ef-
fect, a prenuptial agreement
that lists a husband's financial
obligations to his wife.
Under Jewish law, the ke-
tubah must be prepared in time
for the wedding day, as a man
is not permitted to live with his
wife until he has given her the
document. The language on the
ketubah is fairly standard,
though, so you don't have to
worry about coming up with
anything clever to say. You can
purchase pre-made ketubot
tents and must secure a new
one.
Today, ketubot used by Or-
thodox couples read much as
they did in talmudic times.
Some Conservative and Reform
newlyweds opt for the tradi-
tional document, as well. How-
ever, in 1953 the Conservative
movement approved a new ke-
tubah. In this version, the cou-
ple also is obligated to a local
beit din's (rabbinic court) au-
thority that would compel a
husband or wife to accept a get,
or divorce agreement. (As op-
posed to a husband skipping
town or refusing to give his wife
a get, which sometimes hap-
pens.)
Now that we have all the le-
gal questions settled, let
me note that one of the
most interesting aspects
of a ketubah can be its de-
sign. Museums around
the world are home to
countless magnificent ke-
tubot — many of which
are lavishly illustrated
with family coats of arms,
flowers and biblical fig-
ures — from throughout
history. You may want to
ask an artist to incorpo-
rate symbols important
to you and your future
spouse, such as the mean-
ing. of your. last name.
, tet
'10110
Q: Many months ago Tell
Me Why was asked to iden-
tify famous Jews born in
Exactly what does this popular document say?
Utah. I couldn't believe it
(Jews — in Utah?), but you
maic, specifies a husband's fi- did it! It just proved what I always
nancial responsibility to his wife knew, that Tell Me Why is the most
during marriage, as well as out- brilliant column ever written in the
lines a sum he must pay should history of mankind. Now I would
they divorce. You should dis- like to challenge you with another
cuss the latter with your rabbi.
Sometimes, this figure is a nom- state: Montana. Don't tell me you
inal amount; years ago, how- can actually come up with a famous
ever, it was a different story. In Jew born there!
A: Of course I can, my friend,
talmudic times, the minimum
a husband was allowed to though I've managed to find a
pledge was 200 zuz for a first- mere one. This was Lauretta
time bride and 100 zuz for a Bender, born in 1897 in Butte.
widow or divorcee. This was no She was a leading child psy:
insubstantial sum, considering chiatrist who developed the
the fact that a new house cost famed Bender Gestalt Test. ❑
50 zuz.
There is only one case in Send questions to Tell Me Why,
which a man will not be held ac- The Jewish News, 27676
countable for all responsibili- Franklin Road, Southfield, MI
ties outlined in his ketubah: if 48034, or fax to (810) 354-6069.
his wife agrees to forfeit the doc- All letters must be signed and in-
ument (generally in cases of di- clude the writer's address. Ques-
vorce). If a couple's ketubah is tions answered in the column will
lost or destroyed, the husband feature only the writer's initials
remains obligated to its con- and city of residence.
'Orr,
•
MILE RD.
BECKRD.N.,„
Q: Like many of the other more
•intelligent life forms on this plan-
et, I am a big fan of "Star Trek." All
right, so William Shatner's... way
of talking ... as Capt. Kirk ... those
seemingly ... interminable pauses
... could get a little annoying. How
can you deny the profound world in-
fluence of a character like Mr.
Spock? I am so proud he was por-
trayed by Jewish actor Leonard Ni-
moy.
I often have admired Mr. Nimoy's
Spock ears and wonder if you could
tell me how many he wore during
his performances on the show?
A: Tragically, we'll probably
never know the total number of
Spock ears produced and/or
worn, though of course millions
want, indeed need, to know.
What Tell Me Why can tell
you, however, is that one pair of
those pointed delights usually
lasted Mr. Nimoy about two
•months during the filming of the
TV episodes of that famed show.
Mr. Spock's ears on the
movie version of Star Trek were
a whole new story, though don't
ask me what accounts for the
difference. Here, Mr. Nimoy
went through three pairs a day,
and they were notorious for, of
all things, melting. In fact, the
temperature on the set was con-
tinually kept at 70 degrees, lest
the ears begin to drip.