Night Frights Got a familg question? •Where can I find a Jewish nurser4 school? •How about a list of camps with Jewish traditions and values? •Can we help Grandma continue living in her own home? •Who offers Hebrew school scholarships? •lire there anq after-school programs for children with disabilities? •Where can mu children get help to cope with mil divorce? •Can qou suggest a mitzvah project for mil son? Call the Federation Resource Line for answers! The Federation Resource Line is a program of the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit. The Resource Line answers questions on a Mehl of topics and has a database of services for persons with disabilities. It Works closelg with the Commission on Jewish Eldercare Services and makes referrals to agencies in the Jewish and general communities. Nightmares can start in toddlerhood and last into the elemental)/ school years. JILL DAVIDSON SKLAR STAFF WRITER M y 16-month-old son has a few dif- ferent sounds he makes in the middle of the night First, there is the grunt as he scrambles in his sleep across the crib on his tummy. The second is a whine when he bumps his head at the top of the bed and has to turn around and start his trek across the mattress all over again. The third is much more dis- tinct and startling. It is a desper- ate scream that follows his being jolted awake from what I believe is a nightmare. "All chil- dren have nightmares at one time or another," said Dr. Steven Spector, the executive co-director of Beacon Hill Clinic in Birmingham and an adjunct professor of child clinical psy- chology at the Wayne State Uni- versity School of Medicine. These terrifying dreams are usually the child's sub-conscious way of dealing with emotional issues they weren't able to rec- oncile during daylight hours. Nightmares begin in young children and toddlers and are usually associated with issues in- volving separation from a parent or guardian. As a child grows, the subject of the nightmare changes. "From the ages of 3 to 6, the child has to resolve a lot of ag- gressive and sexual impulses," Dr. Spector said. Once a child is between the ages of 7 and 11, the frequency of nightmares should decrease unless there is a stress in their lives such as divorce, death or a move, Dr. Spector said. Jonah still cries out in the middle of the night every so of I imagine he will continue to do so. But mixed with his bad dreams are the ones that cause him to smile and e in his sleep. Those dreams are the best of all. ❑ Getting Through The Night: A Parent's Guide JILL DAVIDSON SKLAR STAFF WRITER THE APPLETREE Dot a question? Call Federation Resource EDe,9 Line 1 I 'I t 6 11 Allied Jewish Campaign Text Telephone available bg appointment for people who have hearing impairments or are deaf (810) 967.1110 a IT: 9674160 „>"- Fax: 967.2967 A Jewish Information and Referral Service When a child wakes from a nightmare, the feelings of anxi- ety and dread can be over- whelming. To help a child through this experience, parents may only have to provide a simple hug and some words of assurance, said Dr. Steven Spector, a local child psychologist "Hug them and recognize that your child is truly fright- ened and needs your 100 per- cent support and reassurance," he said. "You may need to stay with them for a short time." In Getting Your Child To Sleep And Back To Sleep, Vicki Lansky suggests responding to the bad dream as one would respond to fright in the day- time. "Don't make light of the fear, but don't overreact, either," she writes. It is important to convey to the child that the situation is under control and that nothing bad will happen to them. But in doing so, he warns against looking for imaginary monsters in the closet or under the bed, a game some parents play with their children. "You should try instead to convince them that monsters aren't real," he said If a child still is not comfort- ed, the parents may want to try laying down with the child in their own bed or bringmg the child into the parent's bed. However, he warns against do- ing this on a nightly basis lest the child develop a dependen- cy on a parent's presence to fall asleep. The best time to resolve the issues that result in nightmares is during the daylight when a child is awake. 0