than Christian divorce. I would
venture to guess that because of
the relative absence of alcoholism,
spousal abuse is a lesser reason
for divorce. We can sort of guess
our way to what isn't causing it,
but we're not good at guessing
what does cause it," Dr. Mayer
says.
Lack of family support and dif-
ferent cultural attitudes are ob-
vious factors in marital instability
among interfaith couples, but so
might be parental marital histo-
ry, he says.
"We have very little informa-
tion on parental marital history,
and there's some reason to believe
parental marital history is cor-
related with one's own marital his-
tory," Dr. Mayer says.
But there is good news embed-
ded in the doomsday data: Fully
95 percent of Jews are married by
the time they turn 45, Dr. Bayme
says, adding, "At the heart of this
is a very religions country." 0
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Romantic Love
For The Cavemen
MICHAEL DAVIS SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
Baltimore Jewish Times.
co, but the unisex craze, when cer-
tain people began asking men to
behave more like women. When
we couldn't, a plague of guy-bash-
ing spread across the Earth, a
scourge that continues to this day.
Guy bashing has been a blun-
der of prehistoric proportions, Mr.
Becker says. Here's why: Back
when early guys tromped through
the savannah, they assumed the
role of hunters. Cave gals were
gatherers.
Org the Cave Guy — focused
and determined — would head
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out with his spear and concentrate
on the hunt; two hours later,
there'd be fresh dino for dinner.
(Of course, there'd always be the
risk that Org would become din-
ner to a dino, if he didn't use his
powers of concentration and block
out all of life's little distractions.)
Org's mate, who for purposes
of exposition we'll refer to as Stel-
la, would venture out to gather
vegetables — and maybe a nice
light dessert of wild berries. Un-
like Org, the solitary hunter, Stel-
la would gather fruits and
veggies alongside her best girl-
friends. They'd dish cave news,
try on each other's leopard skin
ROMANTIC LOVE page 28
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F EB RU AR Y
f all the "Americanized" hol-
idays of the year, it's hard
to make an argument that
Valentine's Day is a Jewish
one. It's named for a saint, after
all, and Judaism is woefully short
on those, last time we checked.
But maybe the reason most
American Jews have embraced it
is that it speaks to a universal con-
dition to which we Jews are not
immune. We end up spending
most of our adult lives with a to-
tally different species: the oppo-
site sex.
I was given to thinking
about all of this last weekend
after seeing comedian Rob
Becker's long-running one-
man show, Defending the
Caveman. Mr. Becker, who
seems like he should be Jew-
ish (such a nice boy), actual-
ly is genetically gentile; he's
a practicing Catholic with a
wife and two kids.
But Mr. Becker's self-ef-
facing observational humor
is decidedly Jewish in spir-
it, in the same undefinable
way that pudding is Jewish,
but Jell-O is not, as the
great Lenny Bruce once ob-
served.
Defending the Caveman is
on a national tour, after be-
coming the longest-running
solo play in Broadway histo-
ry last year.
I would encourage anyone who
is trying to figure out how to
please his or her spouse — or sig-
nificant other — to see this show.
In the meantime, as a public
service to women, I am going to
impart portions of Mr. Becker's
message of hope and help for the
relationship challenged, just in
time for Valentine's Day, which,
while technically not a Jewish hol-
iday, is in the Lenny Bruce sense.
(St. Patrick's Day and Groundhog
Day are decidedly not.)
But, again, I digress.
Mr. Becker believes the biggest
mistake of the 1970s was not dis-
Michael Davis is editor of The
25