ome Advice
For GO Giving-

Instead, she argues for independent action in se-

lecting gifts, noting that the oddest presents are of-
ten the ones that are the most treasured over time.
"People who get nothing for wedding presents but
the place settings they registered for or checks that
disappear into their own funds will never know the
pleasure of looking around years later and remem-
bering who gave them what," she says.
In fact, despite the current popularity of gift certifi-
cates, checks and I.O.U.s, Miss Manners resound-
ingly deplores the practice of giving money for
anything other than tips and bonuses.
"People always seem to want more of it, no mat-

ter how much they have," she bemoans. "It should
be reserved for service people and employees. You
are not expected to know them intimately enough
to know what they use and want.
"Among relatives and friends, presents are sup-
posed to demonstrate that you know something
about what they are like."
Fine jewelry is still the most desirable of special
gifts and customers are more thoughtful about the

SPECIAL GIFT page C26

FEB RU A R Y

ceived it by now and we would
Some
choices at
be trying to return the over-
Giftpeople.
flow."
Gift anxiety characteristically peaks
around the winter holidays and again in
time for spring bridal showers and June
weddings, the times when Miss Manners
gets the greatest number of questions about
the subject. She scrupulously avoids offer-
ing her readers specific suggestions.
However, the czarina of good -taste,
whose newest book, Miss Manners' Basic
Training: Communication, will be appear-
ing in bookstores this spring, has plenty of
opinions on some of the commonplace
practices that have become confused with
gracious living.
Bridal registries receive her Good Housekeeping
seal of approval, with some qualifications. "They are
a disguised source of information rather than a re-
quest, and it is perfectly permissible to ask questions
and probe for hints for appropriate gifts.
"Unfortunately, the practice has developed be-
yond that, to the point where some retail stores mail
cards with registry information to immediate friends
and relatives. That is stacking the odds," she says

Some tips for raising confident future gift givers ..
On gratitude: "Gratitude is not a natural instinct- or
children," says Miss Manners,nt, is an artilicial behavi
Children's birthday parties;
those horrible institutions, are
intended to develop this social
skill. As a parent, you use
these situations to teach them
to look surprised, pleased and
to show thanks.
"And a reminder — par-
ents are supposed to treasure
all those little presents their
children make in school art
projects."
Miss Manners: Gift advice.
On money: "Young children
do not have the means and the wherewithal to be con-
sumers. However, it is appropriate for one
parent to accompany a child and help in the
selection of a gift from a store," Miss Man-
ners says.
Brian Schubot of Schubot Jewelers says,
"Often around Valentine's Day, we have
teenagers come in to buy a special gift for a
sigiificant other. Generally they have
around $100 to spend.
"It's especially nice when a parent calls
ahead to let us know. That way, we make
sure we take care of them."
On the fool-proof, never-fail gift: Says
Sandy Nathanson of Gift.people, "Kids seem
to love to buy picture frames. Everybody has
somebody they want to keep a picture of.
We wrap all gifts free of charge, no matter
what the price. Kids really appreciate that" ❑

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