STN Entertainment 'The Whole Wide World' PHOTO BY DAN ZAITZ Rated PG I 'The Beautician And The Beast' n the mid-1970s, No- valyne Price Ellis ton), hereditary ruler of Slovet- Rated PG was a schoolteacher, ven if you love Fran Dresch- zia. And although he's a ruthless married and raising er's nasal voice, flashy fash- dictator, abrupt, with no time for a family in Texas. She ion sense and Yiddishisms on his children, dissent or Joy, we began noticing a resur- "TheNarmy," stay away from soon see he's really a nice guy un- gence of interest in sci- The Beautician and the Beast. derneath. ence fiction and fantasy So Joy meddles, first in the She's pretty much the same; but literature: the "acade- kids' lives, then in the father's. there are fewer laughs, much micising" of "pulp" fic- She convinces him to spend time more boredom and a lot less tion. with his kids. She convinces him sense. Scholars, of course, to say hello to the peasants. She Drescher plays Joy Miller, a ultimately turned to the beauty school grad teaching an convinces him he can get badly works of Robert E. evening class inside a local high needed Western aid by throwing Howard, author of, a diplomatic party and shav- school. When her students among other dime-store ing his mustache. start a fire in the science fanzine characters, Co Joy, however, is op- MOVIES classroom, and Joy per- nan the Barbarian. But Vincent D'Onofrio and Renee Zellweger in The Whole Wide World, based on a true story. posed by Kleist (Patrick sonally rescues all the lab Novalyne Price Ellis be- Malahide), Pochenko's evil ad- animals, she gets her picture in came angered by the Zellweger, as Howard and Ellis comes off slightly less than per- viser, who turns out to be behind the paper as a "hero teacher." discussion of this man; people respectively, take an enor- fect. most of the president's more This attracts the attention of were forming opinions of him mously passionate and en- The Whole Wide World, heinous decisions. "Ira" (Ian McNeice), who thinks that she knew to be wrong. Be- veloping story and seem to feel though, is a film to see, if sim- Of course, all works out in the he's found a science teacher to ed- cause she had known this obligated to act accord- ply for the rare story it presents. end in true (though unbelievable) ucate the children of the presi- man more intimately ingly. In their "playing And, as far as the acting goes, fairy tale fashion, after nearly two dent of Slovetzia, an Eastern M o VIES than any other person it up," the viewer is left those were some big shoes to fill European dictatorship. "It's like hours of over-earnest drivel, punc- ever had. feeling almost self-con- Paris ... 50 years ago," Ira tells tuated by Drescher's Lucille Ball- So, in 1985, Ellis wrote a book scious about the actors' perfor- Joy. 'There were Nazis in Paris esque actions. about the man whom she called mances. While Drescher gets some good 50 years ago," Joy's mother tells "the greatest pulp fiction writer D'Onofrio (Mystic Pizza, Full jokes, the rest of the cast is re- her. in the whole wide world," and Metal Jacket) imbues his char- But Joy takes the job, and lack duced to straight-man roles. The she called that memoir One Who acter with all the heaviness and of educational credentials doesn't script by Todd Graff fails to Walked Alone. Now, 11 years af- energy of Howard the man, yet stop her from charming the sons amuse or move; and so with the ter the book was published, El- there is something that is just and daughters of Pochenko (for- exception of Drescher and a piti- lis' story has been made into a not quite believable. And Zell- mer James Bond Timothy Dal- ful few moments, there's nothing film, The Whole Wide World. weger — to whom audiences to look forward to except the end Robert E. Howard was a leg- have flocked recently, with some credits. end in his small Texas home- help from Tom Cruise, in Jerry is the former Stephen Bitsoli 112 Qt) town in 1934, well before his Maguire — seems to be so in entertainment editor of Detroit — Lynne Konstantin and pulp/science-fiction tales of Kull awe of her role, that she also — Stephen Bitsoli Jeffrey Hermann Monthly magazine. and Conan brought him fame qraattigainfiltkAUSWERAMMZI:M many years later. To his neigh- :.:oammr bors, he was a strange, brash young man who could be heard acting out his "yarns" of sav- agery, survival and sexuality as nicely ironic end- drug supplier with Rated I? he wrote them. A societal out- ing. a grudge, whom sider and an imposing physical e late rapper Tupac Shakur Both leads give they know only by presence, Howard seemed more co-stars. with Tim Roth great perform- his personalized li- suited to his imagination than (Resermi,r Dogs, Rob Roy) in ances, but Shaktir he did to his quiet Depression- the Sundance hit Gricllock'cl. cense plate: "I) is probably more Reper" (the film's era surroundings. Set in Detroit, the entertaining impressive be- Given his reputation, an un- film succeeds in making two in- director and screen- cause ahas the writer Vondie Cur- likely thing happens: Novalyne credibly stupid drug addicts lik- leSs ly part. tis Hall). Price, a curious and intelligent able. ane Newton Th But Gridlock'd young schoolteacher and aspir- The story follows the travails but '4* doesn't pretend that ing writer, becomes drawn to of Spoon (Shakur) and Stretch es,. you Spoon and Stretch Howard and those same quali- (Roth), two musicians on the ties most others have found re- verge of signing a record deal, as are just victims. 6 6 § When Stretch blows Tupac Shakur and Tim Roth star in the Vondie Curtis Hall film Gridlock pellent. Attracted by his they try to get into a' drug tt, seems at one up creativity and passion for writ- rehab program The rea- callously, and stupidly, raid his to be marketed at 'Pupae man when he won't sign ing, Novalyne begins to see son: Cookie (Thandie them up immediately, the stash and shoot up there, just a Shakur fans,. 4thiSs no' hood something gentler behind his Newton, the third mem- day worker:replies; "Just be- few feet from where the body lies movie. It's ria410::*e Pulp Fic- bravado, and the two begin a ber of the group and Spoon's girl- cause you've decided that today's in a pool of blood. They don't even tion vein, with very dirk humor, stormy three-year relationship friend) is in an overdose-induced the day you stop being a dope have the sense to take the drugs sharply written dialogue and that seems always fatefully bal- coma. fiend, the whole world's supposed and go somewhere less likely to sometimes, graphic violence. anced just short of romance. Soon the pair has another rea- be visited by the cops or the Vondie Curtis Hall is a film- to come to a halt?" Vincent D'Onofrio and Renee son to disappear for a while: a killers. maker to watch. E ck) Lynne Konstantin and Jeffrey Hermann aspire to be the nee Siskel and Ebert. Stephen Bitsali is the former entertainment editor of Detroit Monthly magazine. Spoon and Stretch lose still more sympathy when, upon find- ing a pusher (and friend) shot to death in his own apartment, they They soon stop worrying about Cookie as well: Her fate isn't revealed until the film's —Stephen Bitsoli ti cs) cs) N- >- cc