Includes
destination &
acquisition
fees
Includes
FREE CD
Change
1997 CHEROKEE SPORT
Includ
Sunroof
& CD
Change
WANDERING JEW page 53
:"NNatat;:kw
r ino
25*
per mo.
Power Conventem . roi4OeylesS entry, AM/FM , cassette
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wheels, ABS, and much, much more. Stock #10154.
1997 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE
ncludes
destination
& acquisitio
fees
per mo.
24 Month Lease
.nth Lease
per mo.
26E Customer preferred package, auto, air, power mirrors, tilt
wheel, rear defroster, 4.0L 6 Cyl, sunscreen, cruise, plus much
more!
1996 NEON II1GHLINE
Laredo 4x4_
.1 a LL
•
•
Employee
on-Ernp oyee
$259*
$290*
per mo.
24 Month Lease
per MO.
dudes
FREE Power
Sunroof
& CD
C ► an er
26X Customer Preferred Package, power windows, powe locks,
alloy wheels, AM/FM cassette stereo, tilt steering, cruise con
trol, sunscreen glass, and much, much moreiatock #10211.
$10,495***
22D Customer Preferred Package, Automatic, Air Conditioning,
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plus Much, Much More! Stock #7929.
*To get employee price, purchaser must be eligible for Chrysler Employee discount. Closed-end lease with approved credit. S1,500 down, plus 1st month payment,
security deposit, title and plates, plus 6% use tax on monthly pymt. 12,000 mile allowed per year on lease vehicles. $.15 per mile if over 12,000 miles per year. Leasee
has option but is not obligated to purchase vehicle at lease end. To get total of pymts, multiply pymt. by term plus 6 % use tax. All incentives to dealer. — Must be eli-
gible for Chrysler Employee Purchase Plan. Plus tax, title, registration and destination. * — Plus tax, title, plates. All incentives to dealer. Expires 2/14/97.
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I'll never forget: I was sitting
in my dark, hole-in-the-wall
New York apartment watching
some Brenda-dumps-Dylan saga
on the tube while downing a
bowl of Fruit Loops for dinner,
and the phone rang. The voice
on the other end was one of my
best friends who yelped, "Hi, I
just got engaged. It's the most
amazing, fabulous night of my
life." I wanted to run over and
hug her, but of course I couldn't.
I swallowed another spoonful of
cereal and listened to her rattle
off the names of our friends who
were about to break open the
champagne with her and cele-
brate.
I didn't want to only be able
to send a Hallmark when a
friend got pregnant or landed a
new job.
I was unnecessarily isolated
and the only beauty to it was the
anonymity it brought. Some-
thing about dashing from here
to there where you don't know a
soul for 300 miles is liberating.
You can proudly- sport the greasy
hair, glasses, ratty sweatshirt
and unmanicured hands for a
day's outing, where in downtown
Birmingham the look probably
requires a little more—say, per-
haps, a shower.
No longer will I hear the dai-
ly Atlanta "Ha-A-U" (definition:
"how are you?"). And as for dat-
ing Confederates, well let's just
say, dining over grits at the
"Waffle House" with a guy from
Alabama that I later learned
carried a gun, made me realize
it's nicer to come home and know
a little history about a person.
And even if the fellow is a trans-
plant, the mere shared under-
standing that Sunday morning
= bagels is enough of a green
light.
I can't help feeling excited
about coming home. It's famil-
iar, yet it's all new. I am here
when a loved one is ill, and I am
here for the birthdays, anniver-
saries, births, bat mitzvahs,
weddings and all other mazel or
sorrow that touches my family
and friends. ❑
Nice Try, Get Lost
Pick-up lines may be creative,
but do they really work?
y
ou've probably heard a
few yourself. No one, of
course, admits to using
any. And most young
marrieds breathe a collective
sigh of relief when asked if
they've heard any good pick-up
lines.
Here are the 12 worst pick-up
lines The Jewish News staff and
friends could remember.
Whether you've used one your-
self, or had them used on you,
indulge — but don't spill your
drink on the paper; these lines
are harmless in newsprint.
1. A bartender once asked Jill
Davidson Sklar to prove she was
flexible and double-jointed, and
he asked her to touch her elbows
together behind her back (forc-
ing her chest forward). Knowing
exactly what he was doing, she
told him to get lost.
2. "Aren't your legs tired? Be-
cause I was chasing you around
in my dreams last night."
3. A man in a straw cowboy hat,
the kind you win at a state fair,
approached a strange woman in
the bar. He reached his hand out
and moved her hair back from
her ear. The man and a friend
stood there, commenting on her
ear: "Good contour, doesn't stick
out." The woman was complete-
ly perplexed, until the first guy
said, "Hi, I'm Dan," and stuck
his hand out for a handshake.
Her reply? "I'm leaving."
4. "What's your sign?" (a classic,
considered by many to be the
worst line of all time)
5. "I'm a professional photogra-
pher — I'd like to take your pic-
ture." (courtesy of DJN freelance
photographer John Discher)
6. "I'm single, rm Jewish and I
have no sexually transmitted
diseases." (Marla Cooper)
7. "Will you buy me a beer?" (a
real loser's line, says Gayle Bal-
di)
8. A lady goes up to a guy and
says, "You remind me of my
third husband." He replies, "Oh,
really? How many times have
you been married?" "Twice," she
says. (Inna Lyubarsky)
9. A guy asks: "Is your father a
thief?" The girl replies, "No,
why?" "Because he stole the
stars out of the sky and put
them in your eyes." (courtesy of
Randy Cohn)
10. "Is that a mirror in your
pocket? Because I can see my-
self in your pants tonight." (from
Robert Heideman)
11. "If I told you that you have
a great body, would you hold it
against me?" (name withheld,
for obvious reasons)
12. "I'd love to make you
breakfast." (from Deborah Cher-
rin)
❑