ow to say When Jew Marries Non-Jew atC NEIL RUBIN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS "Ti p amo" Li, H ow nice it would be to ac- Today we don't even look at the cept the conventional wis- issue from a cultural perspective. dom about intermarriage: That's because we know that It's a product of present- Jews have no problem marrying day conditions brought about by non-Jews. Indeed, many live hap- assimilation and the watering pily doing so. down of the Jewish home. And they're following an in- Such seeming logic allows the teresting tradition. Moses didn't traditionalists among us to find just "marry out." He did it twice. "the correct response." That is, be Both Kings David and Solomon more and do more Jewish. married non-Jews. (Solomon had It's true that until the 1970s a combined 1,000 wives and con- intermarriage was less common. cubines. A few gentiles were We'd like to think that this is be- bound to slip in.) cause in prior decades Jewish Back in America, historian identity and knowledge were Arthur Hertzberg tells us that stronger. But the higher propor- about one-third of the grandchil- tion of Jewish-Jewish marriages dren of the 2,000 or so Jews here then had more to do with Amer- during the Revolutionary War in- ica's social scene and the Jews' termarried. geographical concentration. Para- Then why do we talk about doxically, Jewish education today this topic with such verve today? is more available and creative The reasons are three-fold: than ever. * The rate is higher than ever. "Can Jew and Gentile inter- In 1991, the Council of Jewish marry successfully?" writes Federation's National Jewish Robert Stone. "There are those Population Survey declared that who, on the very principle of the 52 percent of Jews getting mar- matter, decide in the negative. ried did so to non-Jews. There are those others who pre- * Jewish identity is shifting fer to examine the individual cas- from culturally based to reli- es. But that the giously so. All problem is of para- streams of Judaism mount importance have seen in- is evident from the creased numbers alarming rate of in- observing their There ar e some tenets. Thus, a larg- crease in marital al- liances between er percentage of surpri sing Jews and Chris- Jews than ever are tians throughout religious. That realiti es to the United States. means we're more "Intermarriage is focused on Jewish interma rriage. no new phenome- practice, which is non in American easier in Jewish- life, having in fact Jewish marriages. started with the Today, I believe very first Jewish settlers in this that not only has intermarriage country ... It was thought for a leveled off to around 50 percent, long time that the liberalization but that this will not change for of Judaism was accountable for several decades. It will eventual- those who strayed from the fold. ly diminish because the numbers But statistics plainly show that of Jews will have dropped. That intermarriage is not confined to will be the natural result of the Reform Jews alone, and, in fact, final Americanization of our peo- is even more numerous propor- ple. In other words, those who tionately, among the children of choose to identify as Jews will be Orthodox homes." more intensely Jewish than those Most intriguing is when Mr. of past generations and subse- Stone writes, "No Jew has ever quently more committed to their studied the matter from the point flavor of Judaism. The others will of view of science and psycholo- ostensibly no longer be Jews. gy. That is to say, whether Jew Regardless, families will be and gentile are congenitally com- split by intermarriage for a long patible in so intimate a bond as time to come. As such, we need to marriage." change our thinking. Not only is It's startling to realize that he's it a possibility for all families, but debating genetics, which was in we need to spend more time talk- tune with the approach of the ing about how to respond. And, day. The Holocaust put an end to as we struggle to serve this and such talk. other newly visible subgroups within our community, we would Neil Rubin is editor of our sister be ill-served to mentally ghettoize publication, The Atlanta our thoughts. El Jewish Times. This Valentine's Day, give your sweetheart a gift that will never be forgotten. A luxurious visit to Capelli. For hair, face or body — for women or for men — there is no greater pleasure than the pampering they will enjoy. 11 Dag at the Spa It starts with a Capelli facial, followed by a one-and-a-half hour massage. then a manicure and pedicure with aroma paraffin, hair finish, and makeup with chart. Also included are a healthy lunch and a speciatglft bag just for you. If only all days could be like this! 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