ow to say
When Jew
Marries Non-Jew
atC
NEIL RUBIN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
"Ti
p
amo"
Li,
H
ow nice it would be to ac-
Today we don't even look at the
cept the conventional wis- issue from a cultural perspective.
dom about intermarriage: That's because we know that
It's a product of present- Jews have no problem marrying
day conditions brought about by non-Jews. Indeed, many live hap-
assimilation and the watering pily doing so.
down of the Jewish home.
And they're following an in-
Such seeming logic allows the teresting tradition. Moses didn't
traditionalists among us to find just "marry out." He did it twice.
"the correct response." That is, be Both Kings David and Solomon
more and do more Jewish.
married non-Jews. (Solomon had
It's true that until the 1970s a combined 1,000 wives and con-
intermarriage was less common. cubines. A few gentiles were
We'd like to think that this is be- bound to slip in.)
cause in prior decades Jewish
Back in America, historian
identity and knowledge were Arthur Hertzberg tells us that
stronger. But the higher propor- about one-third of the grandchil-
tion of Jewish-Jewish marriages dren of the 2,000 or so Jews here
then had more to do with Amer- during the Revolutionary War in-
ica's social scene and the Jews' termarried.
geographical concentration. Para-
Then why do we talk about
doxically, Jewish education today this topic with such verve today?
is more available and creative The reasons are three-fold:
than ever.
* The rate is higher than ever.
"Can Jew and Gentile inter- In 1991, the Council of Jewish
marry successfully?" writes Federation's National Jewish
Robert Stone. "There are those Population Survey declared that
who, on the very principle of the 52 percent of Jews getting mar-
matter, decide in the negative. ried did so to non-Jews.
There are those others who pre-
* Jewish identity is shifting
fer to examine the individual cas- from culturally based to reli-
es. But that the
giously so. All
problem is of para-
streams of Judaism
mount importance
have seen in-
is evident from the
creased numbers
alarming rate of in-
observing their
There ar e some tenets. Thus, a larg-
crease in marital al-
liances between
er percentage of
surpri sing
Jews and Chris-
Jews than ever are
tians throughout
religious. That
realiti es to
the United States.
means we're more
"Intermarriage is
focused on Jewish
interma rriage.
no new phenome-
practice, which is
non in American
easier in Jewish-
life, having in fact
Jewish marriages.
started with the
Today, I believe
very first Jewish settlers in this that not only has intermarriage
country ... It was thought for a leveled off to around 50 percent,
long time that the liberalization but that this will not change for
of Judaism was accountable for several decades. It will eventual-
those who strayed from the fold. ly diminish because the numbers
But statistics plainly show that of Jews will have dropped. That
intermarriage is not confined to will be the natural result of the
Reform Jews alone, and, in fact, final Americanization of our peo-
is even more numerous propor- ple. In other words, those who
tionately, among the children of choose to identify as Jews will be
Orthodox homes."
more intensely Jewish than those
Most intriguing is when Mr. of past generations and subse-
Stone writes, "No Jew has ever quently more committed to their
studied the matter from the point flavor of Judaism. The others will
of view of science and psycholo- ostensibly no longer be Jews.
gy. That is to say, whether Jew
Regardless, families will be
and gentile are congenitally com- split by intermarriage for a long
patible in so intimate a bond as time to come. As such, we need to
marriage."
change our thinking. Not only is
It's startling to realize that he's it a possibility for all families, but
debating genetics, which was in we need to spend more time talk-
tune with the approach of the ing about how to respond. And,
day. The Holocaust put an end to as we struggle to serve this and
such talk.
other newly visible subgroups
within our community, we would
Neil Rubin is editor of our sister
be ill-served to mentally ghettoize
publication, The Atlanta
our thoughts. El
Jewish Times.
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