Being A Jew By Choice
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Al Ple
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I ILLPING IIIWISI I
FAMILIES GROW
Judaism are uncomfortable with
admit it publicly: I listen many "Jews By Birth" Those who
to Dr. Laura on the radio. were not born Jews choose to iden-
It usually happens in the tify with the Jewish people. Hence,
early afternoons, while driving the moniker Jews By Choice.
I shun the term "convert."
between appointments.
All right, sometimes I listen to Once you're a member of the club,
the reruns on the weekends, too. or the tribe as some would say,
For the uninitiated, Dr. Laura you're obligated to struggle with C/\
is the brutally honest radio talk finding your Jewish path. All
show hostess. For a few hours a Jews are supposed to, even if less
day, she magically coaxes people than half actually do.
By the way, the Council of
from across the country to blab
about their emotional entangle- Jewish Federation 1990 Nation-
al Jewish Population Survey tells
ments.
Most intriguing to me is that us that about 185,000 Americans
one can actually learn a bit about are Jews By Choice. That's only
Jewish identity and philosophy 3 percent of people who by any
from the show's ever-meander- definition are called Jewish. The
amount of people effecting Jew-
ing conversations.
ish life doubles and
The radio person-
perhaps triples
ality's father is Jew-
when realizing
ish, but her mother
that less than 40
is not. To become
Dr. Laura offers percent of all Jews
"completely kosher,"
belong to syna-
as she says, she re-
a lesson about
gogues.
cently had a formal
Of course there's
conversion to Ju-
converting
to
a
mammoth
debate
daism. She consid-
over
what's
a
ers herself an
Judaism.
"kosher conver-
observant Jew and
sion." This brings
claims to keep a
us to tolerance,
kosher home and
celebrate Jewish holidays. She's which is much different than ac-
strongly against converting for ceptance. Without delving too
much into it, I'll just lay out the
the sake of love.
So Wednesday afternoon when problem. A Jew By Birth can be
a young woman called to tell her wildly assimilated. Yet, this per-
story, I thought, "Look out, 'cause son is seen by some as more a Jew
Dr. Laura's about to come at you than a Jew By Choice, someone
like a loaded tractor trailer ca- likely strongly interested in grow-
reening downhill after an ice ing Jewishly and already visibly
committed to Jewish life.
storm."
I don't have any simple an-
The caller was in love with a
Jewish man whom she wanted swers and I sympathize with the
to marry. The guy was raised and many arguments. But I wonder
remains proudly secular. Ah, but why we don't even focus more on
his equally secular parents want- the topic. Certainly, there has
ed him to wed a Jew — likely a been the occasional synagogue
speaker. But it doesn't even com- C— \
non-religious one.
The caller liked the idea of at- pare to the string of events on
tending a basic Judaism course intermarriage, assimilation and
with her boyfriend. Then, "Of Israel.
Perhaps we haven't focused
course," Dr. Laura continued, "af-
ter you take the class and if you're on this because Jews By Choice
still interested in converting, you aren't interested in being seen
might not want this guy any more." as different. However, I wish
they would speak up more.
Silence.
And I wish that all of us who
Then Dr. Laura again. "If you
really get it, you might want to care about Jewish life would con-
marry a Jewish Jew, not just sider ourselves Jews By Choice.
As I recently told a secular Jew,
someone born Jewish."
"I'm not Jewish because I was
Another pause.
"Hmm, I never thought of born Jewish. I'm Jewish because
that," said the caller, who likely I was raised as a Jew and in
didn't want to think of that now adult life choose to be Jewish."
Being a Jew is about making
or ever. And why should she? It's
complex, challenging and literal- choices. For me, one of the se-
ly life-changing. In short, it's lected options is to keep listen-
about the way Jews are supposed ing to the unofficial rabbi of the r,_/
radio realm. And I think I'll send '"
to live.
And it's one reason why the peo- her a note to see if she's inter-
ple I know who have converted to ested in writing us a column. ❑
K, I'm confident enough to
DATI
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