did the right thing. There are no guarantees
— your family could leave. You've got to just do
what's in your heart.
"I knew deep in my heart that I wanted to
raise my children near my family," says Dr. Gold-
stein.
Many of us remember Detroit childhoods filled
with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles
attending ballet recitals, ten-
nis matches, b'nai mitzvah —
even coming over for dessert
or to see our new school
clothes. Those memories are
invaluable.
Jessica Wilson agrees.
"I wanted to raise a family
in Michigan because I loved
growing up here. My dad's side
of the family is here, my
grandparents, aunts, cousins.
I loved being around my fam-
ily, and it's such a tight-knit
Jewish community ... there's
really nothing like it."
Now, she and her fiance,
Gary Kwartowitz, plan to raise
a family of their own in the
same venue.
Having lived in suburban
Chicago during middle school
and early high school, Ms. Wil-
son says raising her own fam-
ily there was never a strong
consideration.
"It was similar, but not the
same. There's a real sense of
community here. You [can't]
go out to dinner without know-
ing somebody. I really felt like
this is home," she says.
The Elconins came back af-
ter their first baby was born.
They knew they were headed
for the suburbs — why not the
Detroit suburbs, near family?
"The reason we came back
was children," says Leah
Trosch. "We had our first child
before we moved to New York,
and it was very difficult rais-
ing a child in New York and
o why come back? In a nutshell, most De- not having any family
[around]. We had very fond
troiters return to be near family.
Ms. Ginis, who now works in the Anti- memories of a safe and secure
Defamation League's Southfield office, childhood in the suburban
says she'd had enough of Washington, D.C. Top Midwest and decided that we
it off with the fact that "everyone in my family wanted that for our family."
Julie Fisher says no one could have paid her
was having kids. I just thought it was kind of
sad that all my family was spread out. I want- to return to Detroit as a single person. But as
ed to be back in Michigan." She returned last a mom, well, that's another story.
"Even when it was just the two of us, I still
July.
"You have only one life; I want to be around would have wanted to be in Chicago," she says.
"We have a daughter now, though, and I think
my family," says Steven Stone.
Like Mr. Stone, Dr. Julie Goldstein also want- suburban Detroit is a wonderful place to raise
ed to come back for family. Unfortunately, the a child. We both grew up here and had wonder-
day after she returned, her father passed away. ful childhoods; we're envisioning the same thing
"But I think that it even solidified more in my for our daughter."
Also, Mrs. Fisher figures that the cost of liv-
mind that I wanted to be near family, and we

Kolender. "It's a big city. It offers the same op-
portunities as any other big city. It's not New
York, but it's got big business, retail. It's not the
corn fields of Nebraska."
Kim Chesbrough, 40, grew up in Oak Park
but followed her parents and sister to Califor-
nia, where she remained for "10 perfect years."
Mrs. Chesbrough returned to the Detroit area
because her husband, a physician, found that
Detroit's medical community "is a much better
place to practice medicine than California. The
job opportunities here were better, and it was a
much, much better place to raise children — the
schools are excellent compared to California."
They came back three years ago.
Like others who have left, Mrs. Chesbrough
certainly looks at Detroit differently. But not
necessarily through a rosy tint.
Michigan is "extremely conservative — I don't
think people are very open-minded compared to
California.
"Now, that's great for raising kids because
[conservatism breeds] stability, but as far as ac-
cepting different ways of doing things, I think
it's a very narrow-minded community."
Mrs. Chesbrough is Jewish, but her husband
is not. Their interfaith marriage "was never a
problem in California. Here it's constantly be-
ing mentioned, and even though I'm raising my
children Jewish, I still hear words that I never
heard in California — shaygitz, shiksa and goy
— words I didn't hear for 10 years."
On the other hand, many people return to De-
troit for the tight-knit quality of its Jewish com-
munity. From Reform to Orthodox, Humanistic
to Reconstructionist, it's all here.
Rabbi Bergman feels lucky to have landed a
job at Beth Abraham Hillel Moses.
"As I was speaking around the country, I got
to see that Detroit was a good place to be Jew-
ish — a lot of active synagogues, easy to get
kosher food, day schools, a Jewish community
center, Jewish bookstores and also a communi-
ty in one place, not spread out."
As a rabbi, he views Detroit as an even bet-
ter place because, he says, "I've got a lot of good
colleagues around here."
But the hardest part for kosher-keeping re-
turnees is Detroit's dearth of kosher eating es-
tablishments, he says.

ing is less in Detroit than in the suburbs of Chica-
go or New York. She's not wrong, and she's not
alone.
A lower cost of living factored into the El-
conins' decision to move home.
"We wanted our children to grow up in the
suburbs and have a back yard and be able to ride
their bikes," says Mr. Elconin.

S

Dr. Raphael Goldstein says it's easier to own
a home in suburban Detroit. "Your money goes
a lot further here."
The "little things" are also easier: "The traf-
fic's a lot easier, even in comparison to the sub-
urbs of Chicago," he says.
Those who have lived away look at Detroit a
little differently when they come back.
"This is the place where I'm going to live my
life, buy a home, raise a family," says Mark Bern-
stein. El

Joel and Lisa Elconin
with their family: Using
experience gained in
Chicago.

59

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