"Because Plumbing Doesn't
Have To Be Boring."

Waiting To Wed

A Detroit native tells why sometimes
-, Jts
better to get married later.

y childhood friends
started tying the knot
at 19. Some of them
had been double knot-
ed by 25. One thirtysomething
'end is on her third life part-
per.
`4` I, on the other hand, did it
for the first time this past sum-
*er. I was 35. My husband, who
4s 10 years older, also took his
.
nnitial
walk down
the aisle with salt-
and-pepper hair
and laugh lines un-
der the eyes. Al-
though I wouldn't
suggest waiting un-
til Social Security,
there are many
benefits to marry-
ing later.

6. Hope Chest: All your compet-
itive and unmarried friends
in their 30s, 40s, and 50s
flock around, buoyed by your
sudden change in marital sta-
tus. They say things like, "You
were the last person I ever
thought..." and "If you could do
it..."

7. Fountain of Youth: When
reminiscing with
your partner, you
can exaggerate or
have selective
retention about
your youthful days
— since they were
so long before you
met. "I was much
thinner then," or "I
used to dress more
provocatively,"
adds to the myth
and the mystery.

1. Shock Value:
People are so sur-
prised that you're
8. Worker's Com-
doing it at last that
SUSAN SHAPIRO
pensation: You're
everyone shows up
to your wedding. SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS better fed, rested
and satisfied, so
Long-forgotten ac-
you're less of a
quaintances and distant rela-
tives you didn't even invite send threat — thus more of an asset
— to any company.
cards and crystal vases.
2. No Mid-life Marriage Crisis: 9. Secure with Insecurities:
You're already in mid-life! If You've been there, done that and
you're lucky, by the time the screwed it up so many times you
don't even have to bother hiding
novelty wears off you're dead.
your sordid fears. At a certain
3. Dating Gets Dated: After two age, jealousy and vanity actual-
decades of it, you're tired. Fac- ly seem cute.
ing any more fix-ups, singles
parties or two-month-long in- 10. Technophilia: Combining
tense relationships is too daunt- long lives usually involves up-
ing. Being stood up at a diner in grading technology since,
a weird neighborhood or left at chances are, one of you has al-
a stranger's party with no ride ready acquired a decent stereo
home at 34 is just not worth the system, TV, cable, VCR, fax, lap-
top, laser printer and top-of-the-
risk anymore.
line blow dryer.
4. Money Bags: In middle age,
your midriff has grown, but so 11. Defense Mechanisms: All
§ has your bank account. Nothing that time and money spent
jump-starts a new life together in therapy/AA/transactional
like two bathrooms, enough clos- analysis/Gestalt/with gurus has
et space and the occasional first- paid off. You can now say, "I
class hotel on an expense think I'll go take a walk to cool
off, so I don't kill you," and "Per-
account.
haps we shouldn't bring seven
5. Swinging Single: Remember years of repressed hostility into
all those illusions about the glam- an argument about the toaster
orous time you'd have alone? oven."
Well, you played it out. Being a
12. War Stories: You've been
slob, wearing sweatpants all day,
around the block. Did it in an el-
eating cold pizza for breakfast
and not answering to anyone evator. A plane bathroom. The
beach. This led to a sprained
pales beside having a built-in
angry passengers hop-
warm body for a Saturday night ankle,
ping up and down on one
movie date.
foot and sand in shoes for six

Susan Shapiro, a 13lown fief('

WI., native, -is a New York
based freelanco writcr and
Tlic
Boalccani

CcKlral;.

months after the passion ended.
You've finally learned it's much
more comfort able with h some-
Lying
1,ody you love. III
down.

GROHE

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