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Please Do As I Say,
But Not As I Do

AMY KOLZOW SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

11

3t7.

20•

40./.

TO

• Selected Items •

NO FRILLS • JUST SAVINGS

• cash or check only •

STUDIO

6566 Telegraph Road at Maple

Bloomfield Plaza • Bloomfield Hills

(810) 851-5533

INSTITUTE FOR

MEDICAL WEIGHT MANAGEMENT

"A Diet Plan That Works."

Not just a weight plan for today
but a health strategy forever.

•

Medically supervised and individualized weight loss programs.

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Medication management and follow-up.

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Personal fitness training (in-home optional)and behavioral therapy.

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Nutrition and diet counseling.

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Board Certified Physicians, Nurses and Nutrition Counselors.

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Stress management and anxiety reduction.

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PMS and hormonal regulation.

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Physicians specializing in child, adolescent and adult eating disorders.

MARY ROBIN PETERS, M.D., P.C.
FRANCINE I. FRIEDMAN, M.D., P.C.

et

Jensen
Counseling
Centers, P.C.

ugly event into a positive situa-
You get cut off in traffic and, tion. You can almost make a
in quick reaction, let loose a game out of it."
Howard Crouse, assistant su-
blue streak accompanied by
what seems at the time to be an perintendent of elementary edu-
appropriate finger gesture or cation for the Indian Prairie
School District in Illinois, agrees.
shaking fist.
"Being polite is most certainly
Your young children sit in the
back seat and observe your re- a learned behavior," he said. "As
sponse to this everyday nastiness, adults, we should model polite be-
havior, and as a school district,
but what are they thinking?
Maybe they are surprised you we expect parents and children
said words that they were told are alike to do the same. Children are
taboo at home. Or they're think- much more likely to act politely
ing that they have been punished when they see politeness."
But both Mr. Crouse and Ms.
for less severe outbursts. They
Burch know that's not always
might even be scared.
"By letting your children see possible.
She cites a recent example.
your outbursts of anger and rude-
"I was at a public swimming
ness, you're teaching them that
yelling or screaming or
i
swearing, or whatever it
CUSTOMER
is you do, is an acceptable
response to an undesir-
SERVICE
able situation," said Sue
Burch, a child psycholo-
gy teacher at Waubonsee
Community College in
Sugar Grove, Ill.
`The next time you see
your child yelling at an-
other for cutting in line
or screaming in anger,
look at your own actions
as the possible founda-
tion for these actions."
We've all seen or done
it a thousand times.
You mumble something inap- pool and there were some college-
propriate when a situation age students who had brought al-
doesn't go your way. A rude adult cohol onto the property," she said.
makes an inappropriate comment `They were clearly becoming very
about another's body size or phys- obnoxious and behaving in a way
ical ability. Another thoughtless- that I didn't think was appropri-
ly flings politically incorrect ate.
"I had several options. I could
names.
"Sometimes it's the little things talk to the offenders or the peo-
that hurt the most," said Martha ple who ran the pool. It's OK to
Gregory, a Fox Valley Villages, teach children that sometimes
Ill., mother of three. "Kids learn they have to get involved to ren-
quickly about the punishments der a positive solution, but get-
ting in someone's face isn't the
for things like fighting, but name-
calling and swearing are so com- best answer, either. Reporting
mon and usually done without it to the proper people was tak-
consequence, especially by ing responsibility without caus-
ing unnecessary confrontation."
adults."
Most people are sure to find an
Unfortunately, no one is im-
mune. Children are bombarded increase in public rudeness dis-
by daily examples of inappropri- tressing. In a 1995 Parents Mag-
ate behavior. But how can they azine poll of more than 7,700
learn to be polite in a rude world? readers, parents listed tolerance
The best solution is to lead by and respect for other people (82
percent) and good manners (75
example.
"Rather than lecture about eti- percent) among the top 10 most
quette and manners, when one of important values to teach chil-
those unfortunate situations hap- dren.
But it's difficult for children to
pens and someone acts in what
you believe is an appropriate mat- learn about courtesy and consid-
ter, talk about it," Ms. Burch said. eration when they are surround-
"Get them thinking about other ed by discourteous, inconsiderate
possible solutions arid turn the adults.

is the last straw of a long day.

Immediate Appointments Available
Most Insurances Accepted

Monday — Saturday
Daytime and Evening Hours

26105 ORCHARD LAKE RD, SUITE 301 • FARMINGTON HILLS, MI 48334
PHONE (810) 478-4411 • FACSIMILE (810) 478-5346

Amy Kolzow writes for Copley

News Service.

"It's more the parents we have
trouble with than the children,"
said Mr. Crouse. "Especially at