In 1995, he got a summer job
in upstate New York as a camp
counselor for developmentally
disabled children. He spent his
last $20 on bus fare to camp.
His previous experience work-
ing with the developmentally dis-
abled and positive employment
references helped him secure the
job over the phone. He returned
the following summer.
People, he said, are weary of
speaking to him about the day-
to-day problems of HIV, and he
feels the Jewish community has
turned its back on him. At the
same time, he is thankful for the
resources offered by Jewish Fam-
ily Service.
Elissa Driker, who coordinates
the HIV and AIDS program at
JFS, is in the process of forming
a group for those living with the
disease. A grant from the Michi-
gan Aids Fund will support the
program. Ms. Driker said once
she finds at least five people who
are interested in participating,
she can start the group.
"We know that there are be-
tween three and four dozen Jew-
ish people in the community who
are receiving services from agen-
cies outside the Jewish commu-
nity," Ms. Driker said.
'We're trying hard to reach out
to some of these individuals to
help us figure out how to do our
programming differently so they
feel comfortable coming here. It's
a process that will take time.
"Overall, there is a feeling that
it's not OK to come out as some-
one in the Jewish community
who has AIDS. The fear of being
ostracized is tremendous."
Mr. Bergman considers the
disease socially devastating, par-
ticularly with Jewish women.
"It's mined any chance I have
of meeting a Jewish woman," he
said. "There are people out there
who are members of the termi-
nal illness fan club. Those are the
ones who find you attractive be-
"[The disease] is
socially
devastating,
particularly with
Jewish women."
— Laurence Bergman
cause they think you're going to
die, and they think it's heroic to
be with you until the end."
When Mr. Bergman dates, he
takes a number of precautions,
safeguards that wouldn't have
mattered as much before. His re-
lationships, he said, are less
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physical and more
meaningful. "There is
more of a focus on the
emotional aspects,"
he said.
Living with the dis-
ease has taken its toll.
While he shows no
visible signs of being
sick, Mr. Bergman,
who resembles John
Travolta, said he has
his share of good and
bad days, although
his energy level is
much lower than it
used to be and he is
constantly nauseous.
"I've never been ac-
cused of being perky,"
said a low-keyed Mr. Rabbi Aaron Bergman:
Bergman. "Current- Helping the community understand.
ly, I dread getting up
in the morning, and the HIV has coaster. For him, dealing with
only made it worse. When you how he feels is a daily reality. It's
don't feel well physically, it puts strange how you can appear to
be fine but not be fine. I do a lot
you in a bad mood."
His brother, Rabbi Aaron of praying."
During Rosh Hashanah ser-
Bergman, of Beth Abraham Hil-
lel Moses, said the reality of his vices, Rabbi Bergman decided to
brother's disease has been hard share his brother's condition with
on the family, particularly his his congregation. Although he
was nervous about making the
parents, who live in Florida.
"Facing an illness in a child is revelation, especially during his
very painful," Rabbi Bergman first High Holiday service as the
said. "You hear about break- congregation's senior rabbi, Rab-
throughs one week, and then the bi Bergman felt it was necessary
next week you hear it's not true. for a number of reasons. He
It is truly an emotional roller hoped it would help congregants
and the community see
that Jews are touched
by HW and AIDS.
Equally important,
in the rabbi's eyes, is
instilling the impor-
tance of understanding
the seriousness of
AIDS in his congrega-
tion's teens. He has
been speaking to stu-
dents in the seventh
through ninth grades
about the reality of the
disease and how it can
be prevented.
On a more personal
level, the rabbi felt that
discussing it would
help him cope and
make sense out of a dif-
ficult situation.
Laurence Bergman
continues to look for work. At
some point, he'd like to return to
sculpting, but right now he
doesn't have access to tools or a
studio.
Most of Mr. Bergman's sculp-
tures had Jewish themes. For a
short time, his pieces were on dis-
play at the Janice Charach Ep-
stein Museum/Gallery at the
Jewish Community Center in
West Bloomfield. He was very
fond of making copper bagels
(with cream cheese and lox). An
early piece of his work depicted
two fish praising a bagel. ❑