ily creates its own. Anything a
family enjoys doing together on a
regular basis creates roots for a
child," Dr. Rosenberg assures.
He cites dinnertime as a terrif-
ic opportunity for families to come
together around food, to calm
down, eat together and talk, with
no distractions from the outside.
It is a family's "protected time,"
and to make certain that it
doesn't end abruptly, he suggests
children ask to be excused from
the table.

"Not as a rigid manners issue,
but one of respecting the time
spent together," he says. "It can
be the most important time of the LI
day."
Dr. Rosenberg credits his wife,
Anna, also a psychologist, with
teaching him the importance of
family traditions.
"I probably took family time for
granted when I was growing up.
Anna lost both her parents when
she was a teen-ager and had very
little family around. By seeing the

CO

0

Tzedakah And
Other joyous Traditions

T

wo years ago, Sue Sober
of Baltimore started a
new Chanukah tradition
her family has found especially
fulfilling.
"Sometimes during the holi-
days, the emphasis on gift giv-
ing and material things can
really get depressing," says Mrs.
Sober, who, with her husband
Denis, owns a candy company.
In response, the family, which
includes two young teen-agers,
decided to visit an orphanage in
Washington, D.C., to deliver
clothing and money they'd col-
lected.
Last year, the Sober family
participated m a program to de-
liver groceries to families in
need.
"Incorporating this tradit-
ion into our celebration of
Chanukah is very special for our
family," says Mrs. Sober.
Mary Jo Kirschman echoes
the sentiment "Each week dur-
ing the year everyone in the
family, including the kids, puts
a little something in the
tzedakah box," says Mrs.
Kirschman, a social worker who
is married to Steven Luxenberg,
a Washington Post editor, and
whose two children are in fifth
and seventh-grade.
During Chanukah, she con-
tinues, "we take the money out
and give it to a cause the chil-
dren choose."
The Kirschrnan-Luxenberg
family also hosts a multi-fami-
ly potluck Chanukah party each

year. The children in all the
families look forward to playing
dreidel and singing songs.
Sarah Kaplan, 14, of Balti-
more, has a favorite family tra-
dition, too. Each year, she and
her mother, Robin, cook latkes
together. Dad Arthur Kaplan
gets to help eat them.
"I think that's what I like
Dr. Leon Rosenberg, of the sion," as she puts it,
most about Chanukah," she value she placed on Johns Hopkins Children's to family traditions
building family tradi- Center, encourages parents
says with a smile.
tons, I learned how to create family traditions is only one part of
"We have four generations in-
the picture. As a
for their children.
volved when we make potato important they could
Jewish educator,
latkes," says Nancy Levine of be," says Dr. Rosen-
berg, who has three grown sons. Ms. Schorr also sees a "Jewish
Baltimore
Grandparents, too, can con- dimension" to such traditions.
"We follow my grandmother
.
"Family traditions can build
tribute to their grandchildren's
Rose's recipe, my mother comes
psychological roots and 21so Jew-
over and supervises, I cook, and healthy development by setting ish identity. Chanukah can be an
my children help grind up the aside special time for them on a
especially rich time for creating
regular basis.
Potatoes," she recounts.
Anna Rosenberg has arranged family traditions," she says.
The Levine children, Terry,
Dr. Chaim Botwinick, executive
16, and Jon, 13, help decorate her busy schedule to allow her director for the Center for the Ad-
the house with dreidels, gar- every Tuesday off. Her grand- vancement of Jewish Education,
lands and Maccabee warriors. children — an 8-year-old grand-
"We read stories from Isaac son and 2-1/2-year-old twins — in Baltimore, has the same opin-
look forward to Tuesdays. Ifs the ion.
Bashevis Singer and watch
Chanukah is a joyous holiday
day they spend with grand-
videos about Chanukah," Mrs.
and what's particularly wonderful
Levine continues. "Each of us mother, baking cookies and go- is that its customs are "experien-
has our own menorah to light ing on special outings.
Zipora Schorr, director of ed- tial," he says. In other words, they
each night. Terry's is a de licate
involve the family doing things to-
silver menorah, and Jon's has ucation at Beth Tfiloh Commu- gether.
mty School in Baltimore, agrees
Maccabee warriors. "
The family gathering, relatives
When the relatives gather of - with Dr. Rosenberg. She calls the
bringing
food, lighting the meno-
memories created by family tra-
ter dinner, the Levines take
ditions a "safety net for children. rah, singing together — all con-
turns at the piano and everyone
That sense of belonging, of tribute to a child's foundation, says
sings.
"With the world as busy as it connectedness is critical," she Dr. Rosenberg. "The child is im-
bued with the family."
is and time together so hard to says. "Families must have op-
Ms. Schorr has suggestions for
come by," says Mrs. Levine, "it's portunities to do things togeth- creating Chanukah family tradi-
so nice for eight nights to be er. When parents and children tions.
with your family, to enjoy being have the same experiences, there
"Parents singing with children
is a commonality of language."
together and having fun."
But the "emotional dimen- and saying the blessings together

❑

contribute to a child's comfort lev-
el," she says. "Encourage children
to talk about what they can give
to the family, to each other."
Ms. Schorr also suggests that
parents make special time for each
child during Chanukah. Take a
trip to the library, go for a walk,
attend a concert — it doesn't mat-
ter, just share the experience.
Dr. Botwinick says that par-
ents giving their children
Chanukah gifts certainly adds
to the festive mood. Many local
parents have enriched the sig-
nificance of giving by involving
the family in charitable work,
such as volunteering at a soup
kitchen.
'This is a beautiful way to go,"
Dr. Botwinick says.
It's never too late to create a
family tradition, maintains Dr.
Rosenberg.
"Whether it's baking a festive
cookie or reading a favorite sto-
ry, it is exciting for a child to
have the same event to look for-
ward to," he explains. 'These of-
ten become their fondest
memories of the season, and they
often grow up in love with the
idea of recreating them again
and again." ❑