Editor's Notebook

Keeping The 'Aliens'
Away From Our Lives

PHIL JACOBS ED TOR

1560 S. WOODWARD • BIRMINGHAM, MI 48009 • (810) 642-9777

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Had a very in-
teresting situa-
tion pop up in
my family a
couple of week-
ends ago.
My daughter
loves to be
pushed to the
edge, whether
it's something she reads, a roller
coaster at Cedar Point or a sci-
ence fiction movie.
So, I didn't think twice about
the fear factor when I took my
eighth-grader to see the movie
Independence Day. I looked over
at her several times during the
film, which shows a rather bru-
tal attempt at earthly takeover
by a wandering nation of aliens.
In the movie, cities are de-
stroyed and the White House is
demolished — even without the
help of Dick Morris. My daugh-
ter wasn't happy with what she
saw. It made her downright
frightened, and that surprised
me.
Seriously, what upset my
daughter the most wasn't the
eerie portrayals of the aliens or
the wholesale destruction de-
picted through special effects. It
was more a matter of a loss of
control. She saw in the movie
a world where parents could not
protect their children from evil.
Do you know how difficult it is
for a child to realize that his or
her parents aren't the strongest
people in the world? Do you
know what it's like when a child
comes to that realization? You
might have memories of this
moment yourself
I see it with the seventh-
graders I teach Holocaust stud-
ies to at Temple Kol Ami. For
Jews and for civilization, the
greatest living example of an
evil force that sought to take
away our independence was the
Holocaust. It really happened.
Unfortunately, there were mil-
lions of examples of children
whose faith was torn away from
whatever safety their mothers
or fathers could provide.
My daughter and I talked
about all sorts of things the
night after we saw the movie. I
told her about the time I felt out
of control — when as a child I'd
hide under a pillow so I wouldn't
hear my parents sometimes en-
gage in heated exchanges of
anger. Talk about feeling out of
control.
By now, we've all recognized
that it is Rosh Hashanah.
Hopefully, all of us share in a
heightened spiritual awareness
at this time. I can't tell you
what you should be getting out
of these holidays. You need to
work that through yourself or
with the help of your spiritual
mentors.

What will keep the "aliens"
from winning? And what defines
an alien? Again, that's up to you.
Some feel it's the uncontrolled
mayhem we see in the media.
Other aliens come in the form
of family violence, sexually
transmitted diseases or sub-
stance abuse. Peer pressure is
an alien. Perhaps the worst
alien for a child to face is not to
have a dream in life, because he
sees his parents don't have one
either.
I firmly believe that if your
children see you praying, some-
times with your eyes closed,
sometimes with emotion, it will
show them that there is some-
thing bigger than a spaceship. I
believe that if you can say the
Sh'ma with your kids, even your
high-schoolers, before it's lights
out, it says that you are tied into
something big.
Do you light candles on Fri-
days and on Yom Tov? Please,
stop the preaching, you say. OK,
I will. But the light from the can-
dles is a personal fire, a sym-
bol that something is different
here.
Whatever you believe, shock
your family and take a course
with a Jewish subject.
I think the first time my chil-
dren ever saw me with tefillin
on, with a tallis, it was in my
dining room early one morning.
It stopped them in their tracks.
Yes, I was praying, but the ef-
fect it had on the children —
that's what I was hoping to
achieve.
Rosh Hashanah can mark
the beginning of our personal in-
dependence day if we allow it.
There are just so many won-
derful opportunities to try and
turn our lives around here or to
continue on a positive course.
Nobody's asking you to radical-
ly change your life. Spirituality
doesn't have to be an imposition,
a threat.
Instead, for you and your chil-
dren, it could be something that
is very helpful in life.
It can keep the "aliens" away.
And be it a higher power or the
power within themselves, it can
give children and adults a feel-
ing that there is a good force in
control.
It's not difficult for a child to
be frightened by the image of a
killer flying saucer and lizard-
like aliens running around. The
image of safety: Wrap yourself
and your child up in a tallis or
feel the warmth together from
those Shabbat and holiday can-
dles. You will know what safe-
ty is then.
They will, too.
Truth is, with the spiritual
potential given all of us this time
of year, all of us have the power
to keep the aliens away. El

