Success Stor How the power of love, determination and the will to live turned one man's life around. ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR C igarette smoke drifts like waves around Mickey Bakst. The smoke is con- stant: thick at the bottom, then slowly dissipating as it peaks and disappears into the stiffing summer air. Marlboros, Mr. Bakst says, are his one remaining vice. It wasn't long ago that Mickey Bakst was a very different man. He was an addict —"My drugs of choice were cocaine and vodka, 100-proof Stolichnaya, though lat- er it didn't matter if it was mouth- wash or cologne," he says casually — a free spirit who hitchhiked around the country, had no ties, always managed to get hold of plenty of money. Then he ended up in a hospi- tal bed, where the physician told him to quit the drugs or die. Today, Mr. Bakst tells an un- usual story of abuse and excess, of high living and Hollywood celebrities, of the power to change, of insecurity, of how a habit starts and then develops into an addic- tion. It's like a tornado, fast and furious at the beginning and seemingly under control. But be- fore you know it, it's wild, des- perate and murderous. Ultimately, though, Mickey Bakst's story is a tale of love and forgiveness, of how one man sur- vived thanks to a strong family, support groups, friends and busi- ness associates, and his own de- termination to live. It's also a story of success: in November, Mr. Bakst will be hon- ored by the St. Vincent De Paul Society for his work helping re- build the organizations's collec- tion of charitable goods, destroyed earlier this year in a fire. The story begins in Ohio. M ickey Bakst was born in Cleveland, but he didn't live there more than six months before deliver- ing an ultimatum: " Tither take me out of here or I'm taking a hike,' that's what I told my parents," he says, laugh- ing. The family moved to Detroit, then Southfield, where young Mickey spent many hours "riding my bike along 10 Mile Road when it was nothing." turned to Michigan. He attended Oakland County College and Eastern Michigan University, where he studied marketing. "I did fairly well in college, even though I was still a bum," he says. After school, he moved to New- port Beach, Calif., taking a job with an advertising firm. Life there was "very, very fast," Mr. Bakst says. He began using "everything from pot and alcohol and acid to heroin and barbitu- rates." Getting drugs was not a prob- lem. They were accessible and in- expensive, and they made Mickey feel great. 'When you're on drugs, you're invulnerable," he says. "I was a skinny kid; drugs gave me courage." His parents experienced "noth- ing but pain" because of their son's drug use. That's where Mr. Bakst's greatest agony lies. "My only true regret is the pain I caused them," he says. Others began to notice his His mother was a "gregarious two friends with whom he start- woman," a homemaker who loved ed smoking pot were doing few- caring for her family and doing er), and spent a lot of time volunteer work for Jewish caus- arguing with his parents. He de- es. His father, a quiet man, was cided to leave home. For several years, Mickey a podiatrist who believed in the power of a good education, whose Bakst traveled around the coun- concern "first and foremost was try. He hitchhiked, "wandering from Florida to Alaska and every- his wife and children." On Friday nights, Mickey was where in between. It was a dif- at home having Shabbat dinner ferent world back then," he says with his parents and siblings, all wistfully. "You never thought of whom remain close and sup- about somebody mugging you." Ultimately, Mr. Bakst re- portive, none of whom went through drugs and alco- hol like their brother. He spent Saturday mornings at Congrega- tion Shaarey Zedek, where his grandfather, Jacob Sonenklar, was cantor. That's pretty much where his Ju- daism begins and ends. "I never had any strong religious feel- ings," Mr. Bakst says. "I have no shame that Pm a Jew, but I don't cele- brate a single Jewish — or American, for that matter — holiday. To me, they're all just days of the week." By the time he was 14, Mickey was in trou- ble. "Three of us were friends; they were smok- ing pot and my choice was to join in or be alien- ated," he says. He decid- ed on the former. "It was natural (in the 1960s)," he says. "We were all from upper-mid- dle-class Jewish homes, and we had virtually anything we wanted." What they wanted was drugs. At 16, Mickey "got kicked out of high school for organizing a student walk-out to protest the lack of academic free- dom. I went back, but then I got in a fist fight with a teacher. I don't re- member what it was about." He dropped out of school, began taking more drugs (even as the Mickey Bakst at Tribute, where "what you see is what I am." abuse. In 1972, a friend re- marked, "Don't you think you have a problem?" It took another 10 years before Mr. Bakst would say, "Yes." After Mr. Bakst left the ad- vertising firm, he became part- ner in a field that continues to be his passion to this day: the restau- rant business. He made a lot of money, and began hobnobbing with the rich and famous, many of whom were, like Mr. Bakst, swimming in a dying sea of dol- lars and drugs. "Everyone was doing cocaine," he says, and there was no room for anyone not interested in get- ting high. "(When you're a drug addict), anybody of any quality will say to you, 'Don't you think you should stop?' Your response is, Did you forget where the door is?' " The storm hit in 1982. Initially, Mr. Bakst says, his use of drugs and alcohol was an easy hobby. In fact, "It was a lot of fun. You met people and you dropped acid together. It was a ball." But before he knew it, it had become a delicious poison he could not resist. "One day you wake up and instead of wanting it, you need it," he says. "And then you hate it and all you want to do is die, but you're afraid to pull the trigger. You see everything around you start to crum- ble, but no matter how much you want to you can't give it up because nothing, nothing is more important that the bottle or the drug. It's the only friend you have. `Then I found I couldn't sign my name or light a cigarette without my hand shaking," he says. "Quite frankly, I was dying." He wound up in the hos- pital, where a doctor told him, "If you drink again, you will die." That kept him sober for three weeks. `Then I drank again. You just have no control over it — until you learn how." This time, though, everything would be dif- ferent. The two people to whom Mr. Bakst had giv- en unending grief were about to step in. Mickey Bakst had been missing for three days, off in a drunken stupor in some hotel. His business partner didn't know where he was; nobody did. Some- body called Mr. Bakst's fa- ther and told him his son had vanished. The senior Mr. Bakst came directly to California.