C

What's so f tinny about being single?
Susan Shapiro oughta know — until tomorrow.

ALICE BURDICK SCHWEIGER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

hen the Berkley Publishing
Group asked Sue Shapiro to
write The Male To Female Dic-
tionary, a humorous look at male
and female relationships, she fig-
ured it would be an easy assign-
ment.
After all, Shapiro, the West
Bloomfield native who now calls
New York City her
home, is an expert on the
subject. At 35 years old
and single — until to-
morrow, when she offi-

-

-

English .. .

"What does she look like?"

"You think I'd like her?"

PHOTO BY DA

"What does she do?"

"You think she'll like me?"

"How tall is she?"

"If she's so cute, why aren't yo
going out with her?"

"What does she look like?"

"What does she look like?"

"You think she'll sleep with me?"

"What does her body look like?"

THE DETR OI T JE WI SH NEW S

"Is she good-looking enough to

84

Above:
Comedy writer Susan Shapiro's new book is
"the handy guide to the babble of the sexes."

Right:
In The Male-To-Female Dictionary,
Shapiro takes a humorous look at being
single, dating and relationships overall.
The book was released last month and
is available in local bookstores.

overcome being geographically
undesirable?"

tral Cable Network, Shapiro's pa-
perback offers the premise that
men and women speak a differ-
ent language. The grammar
chapter, for example, compares
the female pronoun, "we," to the
male pronoun, "I," and the female
reflexive pronoun, "our-
selves," to the male re-
flexive pronoun,
:0 "myself"
- Much of the book
translates what
women and men say
to what they mean. In
one of her conversion
charts on time,
Shapiro writes: "Fe-
male, shopping: Try on
36 garments at seven
department stores and
four boutiques/looking
in mirror/taking long
lunch/trying on fa-
vorites again/purchase
English • • •
only a belt = four
hours, 39 minutes.
"And not a commitment-
phobe like my last boyfriend?"
"Male shopping:
Purchase
six identi-
"Is he buying dinner?"
cal shirts, three pairs
"Has he made at least one real
of socks at first store
commitment in his lifetime?"
= 12 minutes, 16 sec-
"Will he be able to make at
onds."
least one real commitment in
For sure, comedy
his lifetime?"
has always been a
large part of the
"Can I wear heels?"
me?"
Shapiro home,
"How tall is he?"
"Does he have room for
where Sue was the
"Where does he live?"
"What does he look like?"
oldest of four sib-
"What does he look like?"
lings and the only
girl. Not surprisingly, much
of her humor reflects her
than a decade. "I tell everyone suburban Jewish upbringing.
that I finally found a way to turn And one of her favorite subjects,
my lousy relationships into some- she says, is her mother.
"I have a crazy Jewish family
thing profitable."
Released this month and be- and just quoting them is funny,"
ing plugged on the Comedy Cen- says Shapiro, whose family be-

Hilly enters wedded bliss — she's
been living, learning and writing
about the battle of the sexes.
"Being single and dating for
more than 15 years was my field
research," laughs Shapiro, who's
been a humor writer for more