The Cultural Commission Of

Congregation Beth Abraham Hillel Moses

Proudly Presents

Just For The Fun Of It!

All Or Nothing
Is Not Realistic

Shabbat Matot-Mass'ei: Numbers 30:2-36:13;
Jeremiah 2:4-28, 3:4.

RABBI IRWIN GRONER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

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hat may we expect out
of life? Can we ever
hope to achieve all our
heart's desires? And if
we don't, are we defeated? What
are the reasonable expectations
for satisfaction in human exis-
tence?
Our appetites are insatiable
and our wants are boundless, yet
the resources to satisfy those de-
sires are limited. Many of us are
not satisfied with less than per-
fection. Much distress is caused
by not knowing when or how to
compromise with the compelling
nature of our wants. We some-
times forget that life, like poli-
tics, is the art of the possible.
We set high and impossible
standards for ourselves and for
others to follow, and then the in-
evitable, unpleasant conse-
quences ensue. Consider a
parent who drives his child re-
lentlessly, mercilessly to succeed
beyond the capacity of that child
to do so; or a spouse who is rigid
and demanding and cannot ac-
commodate to the shortcomings
of the marriage partner; or the
business executive who must
rule in a dictatorial manner and
leaves no allowances for human
error.
All these people (and more)
cannot eat the "half-a-loaf' of
happiness. They tolerate no de-
viation from the highest de-
mands of excellence. It's all or
nothing, rule or ruin. We and
everyone else about us must be
perfect, or the things we do and
the persons we're involved with
lose their value. Who can calcu-
late the misery of broken friend-
ships, ruined marriages and
family discord engendered by
this compulsion to set expecta-
tions beyond the human capac-
ity to attain them.
The Jewish tradition confirms
this insight in rabbinic com-
mentary on the selection from
the prophet Jeremiah on this
Sabbath: "Shimu D'var
Ha'Shem..." "Her ye the word of
the Lord, 0 House ofJacob." The
rabbis were struck by the em-
phasis on the word Shimu
("Hear"), with which the prophet
begins his charge to the people.
The Midrash sets forth these
words from the Almighty: "When
you, the Hebrew people, stood at
Mt. Sinai, you promised all that
the Lord said. We shall do and

Irwin Groner is senior rabbi of

Congregation Shaarey Zedek.

we shall hearken. You have
failed in the first, 'we shall do,'
because you made a golden calf;
you worshipped idols and you
followed the ways of heathen na-
tions. But at the very least, you
should observe the second com-
mitment, 'we shall hearken.' If
you will listen, I will regard you
as having fulfilled your promise.
Furthermore, even if you didn't
listen to the words of the Torah,
at least listen to the words of the
prophet."
God Himself would settle for
less than perfection from His
people. The children of Israel
were sent into exile, not because
they didn't fulfill all the great,
lofty, noble ideals of the Torah,
but because they had become so
unrighteous, morally callous and
depraved that they could not
even listen. If they would have
listened and learned, they would
not have been punished.
Examples of this theme are
many, but I focus on the condi-
tion of Jewish existence today.
All denominations in Jewish life
are undergoing change and
transformation, endeavoring to
respond to the circumstances of
our time. All are engaged in
some form of accommodation
and response in order to pre-
serve and renew that which is
dearly cherished. Yet we criti-
cize and scold each other for try-
ing to work out meaningful
patterns for ourselves. Some say,
"Either observe everything or
nothing has been achieved."
A family met with me re-
cently. The boy goes to religious
school and his parents want him
to continue. He challenged his
parents, declaring, "You don't ob-
serve Shabbat as it is taught in
the synagogue, and you don't ob-
serve religious practices. There-
fore, you should not expect me
to continue my Jewish educa-
tion."
While I do not dismiss the
lad's criticism, his argument
rests on a fallacy.
Life doesn't permit us the
choice of all or nothing. This ei-
ther/or attitude doesn't function
in the arena of business or the
professions or creative achieve-
ment or human relationships.
The vast majority of us are con-
cerned about the survival of the
Jewish people. We preserve loy-
alties expressed by some partic-
ipation in Jewish life, even
though we fall short of the max-
ALL OR NOTHING page 26

