Back in 1982, Ms. Tracht, a
West Bloomfield resident, began
consulting with a parenting-skills
group as part of Oakland County
Family Services. During the next
decade, she put together a step-
by-step process to help parents
nurture their parenting skills by
reflecting on unresolved hurts and
traumas from their own child-
hood. The book, she says, is an ex-
planation of her therapy
techniques used in her work with
families struggling with separa-
tion, divorce or various forms of
abuse.
To date, the book has been
praised by critics and has sold
modestly well among therapists
and the nationwide community
of social workers, according to Ms.
Tracht. "Some readers claim it's
given them a push in a positive
direction," she says. 'That's basi-
cally what a therapist does."
Throughout the writing of the
book, Ms. Tracht revisited her
childhood and gained a deeper
appreciation for the support her
brother gave her while growing
up.
"He's always championed me,
and it's given me a deeper appre-
ciation of a nurturing sibling re-
lationship," she says.
Today, Ms. Tracht's brother, a
podiatrist, treats "the other end
of the patient," she says. It is per-
haps a case of different perspec-
lives, but shared values.
But clearly, readers who'll find
the book most helpful are those
who've blocked out a painful child-
hood experience with their par-
ents. These readers, either
consciously or subconsciously,
could be blocking nurturing atti-
tudes toward their own children,
according to Ms. Tracht's thesis.
For instance, if a parent was a
caretaker in the family as a child,
he or she may take on too much
responsibility in a relationship as
an adult. An overly responsible
parent may hinder the develop-
ment of a child's adapting skills.
The result: a well-intentioned par-
ent with a child who tends to be
irresponsible.
Ms. Tracht's book is filled with
encouragement for the reader to
revisit what's standing in the way
' of further self-growth.
"In a way, the book is for some-
one trying to build his self-es-
teem," she says.
Of course, predicting human
behavior is like setting odds on
a Michigan weather forecast. Per-
haps that's why Ms. Tracht
prefers to heap plenty of pats on
the back.
"If parents can be tender, lov-
ing and nurturing about them-
selves, then they can have those
feelings toward their children,"
she says.
While therapists-turned-au-
thors like John Bradshaw have
suggested that confrontation with
the person who caused the psy-

PARENTING page 74

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